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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Sal's Pizza (S01E01)

"Just ask for the doughnut, Scully?"
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"Yes."
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"Thanks."
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"[Sighs]"
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"It's good to see you, Sal."
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"I'm so sorry about the fire."
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"I can't believe it's gone, Jakey, all of it."
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"The pizza oven."
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"The first dollar bill I ever made."
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"[Tearing up] The 7-up fridge."
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"Hey, it's gonna be all right. You'll rebuild."
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"The fire department's been asking a lot of questions."
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"Oh, fire department questions. Let me guess."
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""Uh, what part of my face do I put food in?""
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""How do you count to one?""
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""What's air?" [Laughs]"
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"They think I torched my own place."
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"You know I wouldn't do something like that, right?"
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"Yeah, of course."
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"But can you think of anybody"
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"I could think of ten pizzerias"
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"that want me out of the game."
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"That jerk Mario comes to mind."
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"We share a delivery radius."
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"(Charles) Mario is number ten overall in Brooklyn,"
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"and rising fast."
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"He might've wanted to move up the ladder."
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"Of one foodie weirdo's"
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"personal pizza email blast?"
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"Okay, we'll start with him,"
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"then we'll move on to the rest of your competition,"
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"to update my rankings."
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"Can we stop at home for a pizza bib?"
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"No, Charles, we gotta go fast."
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"No, no bib."
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"We're gonna solve this for you, Sal."
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"Sit tight."
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"The guy who did the safe"
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"in the second apartment, what was his name?"
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"Cone."
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""C" as in "Captain." "O" as in "overlooked.""
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"- What? - Nothing."
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"She said "C" as in "Captain," "O" as in "over...""
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"Yeah, I know how to spell cone."
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"Okay."
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"So, Ropesburg P.D."
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"- You know someone there? - Nope."
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"- Nope. - Weird."
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"They just offered you Captain without considering anyone else?"
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"Like Scully..."
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"Because he's got so many years on the force."
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"Hey, guys, I think I put my gun"
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"in one of these boxes, and I don't know which."
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"You have a problem with me that you want to talk about?"
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"Me? No, I am just filing evidence, sir."
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"Found my gun. It was in my holster."
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"My holster's on my butt."
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"Good solve, Scully."
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"Mario, this pie needs work."
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"Good consistency on the crust,"
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"but the cheese-to-sauce ratio is a travesty."
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"[Spits]"
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"In a word, yes."
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"Amateurs go tasting, they fill up,"
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"and they lose their palate by the third slice."
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"So, Mario..."
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"Let me tell you what I think happened."
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"Your credit card transactions are down by 1/3"
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"Meanwhile, over at Sal's,"
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"it was a bunch of smiling faces"
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"and happy stomachs."
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"One night, you snapped."
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"A little gasoline... fah! A little match."
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"The night of the fire, I was at my father's funeral."
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"[Spits]"
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"Ugh."
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"(Charles) Gino..."
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"This pizza is much better than last time."
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"You've always ranked dead last"
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"in structural integrity and sauce."
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"But way more importantly, I did a little research,"
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"and it turns out you did six months in prison for a b&e."
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"I did. The night of the fire,"
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"I was at the prison giving a motivational speech"
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"on how parolees can turn their lives around."
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"Well, it's good to hear that the system works,"
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"and you are welcome."
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"Have a good one."
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"This is a dead end."
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"We've gotta check out that crime scene."
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"Can't. Firemen locked it down."
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"Grab your spit bucket, Boyle."
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"Those hose monkeys can't stop us."
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"Ah, you must be Simon Walker."
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"Have a seat."
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"with the board of ed for two years."
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"Well, I know my way around a computer, that's for sure."
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"I'm sorry?"
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"Favorite Jay-Z song?"
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"[Chuckles] She's kidding."
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"Hmm. No, I'm not. What is it?"
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"I don't know."
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"What's your experience with cyber-security?"
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"Uh, well, I added encryption software..."
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"But seriously, what's your favorite Jay-Z song?"
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"I don't know! Big pimpin'? It's big pimpin'!"
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"Mm, wrong answer, friend."
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"And that's, um, how I got involved in,"
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"There's no need to be nervous."
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"[Laughs] Oops."
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"Was that a little sudden?"
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"What would you say is your biggest weakness as an employee?"
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"Um..."
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"I'm sorry, what was the question again?"
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"He said, "what's your biggest weakness"
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"[muffled] As an employee?""
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"I'm sorry, I just have"
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"Sorry. You seem disgusted."
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"Here's an itemized list"
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"of everything taken from the garden apartment."
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