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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Sal's Pizza (S01E01)

""Ster-b-eo"?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's not very Captain-y."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, my God, enough."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I just think that you meant "stereo," not "ster-b-eo.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"That's it. Get in my car, now."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And if you say another word,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I promise you, you will regret it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Aye aye, cap... Ow, okay."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fine, I regret it. Ah... I'll go. I'm going."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"These firemen are not moving."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We gotta distract 'em."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Tell 'em your little boy's cat"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Ooh, undercover work. I love it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"First off, can it be my daughter's cat?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, but if you get made because of that, it's on you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fine. Let's talk about the cat."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Short-hair, long-hair? Tabby?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Short-hair, calico."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"The son is adopted. Your wife is in a coma."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"My little boy, Brian, my angel,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I bought him a short-haired calico"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"after my wife fell into a coma... Motorcycle crash."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And now the cat's stuck in a tree."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Kinda looks like you. Handsome guy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Handsome little guy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Brian was adopted, so he has abandonment issues."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Just struck out at tee-ball last week."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Everyone called him "cryin' Brian.""
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Aah!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You looking for something?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What is the deal with you"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and this second-rate pizza joint?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"This place is a Brooklyn institution,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and I'm here because you think Sal did it"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and you're wrong!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He did do it!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Sal was in financial trouble,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"he has no alibi,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and in cases of arson, the owner always did it."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What's going on, sir?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What's going on is that Peralta"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"has screwed with me for the last time,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and now he's gonna pay."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, you know what, Boone? Any time you want to..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Grunts]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, that escalated fast."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"(Charles) They're getting nervous, Jake! They're getting nervous!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Both grunting]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hey, break it up! Now!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Don't tell me what to tell people what to do!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, make me not do it, tough guy."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Uh-oh."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[All grunting]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hey, break it up!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I apologize, marshal Boone,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"In my defense, I was the only one"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"saying we should stop hitting."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Stop hitting them!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Kicking them will hurt more!"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Okay, I'm a reasonable man, so I'm just gonna say this."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Fire Peralta immediately."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He started a fight."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And he's obsessed with this pizza place."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What I'm obsessed with is how you're bungling"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"this investigation."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"They should write a song about it"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Seriously, why are you"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"According to Charles's email blast,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"it's actually number eight."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Of course, it's the only one"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What, are you kidding right now?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"This isn't about pizza."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"What's it actually about?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"When I was a kid, I was shortstop"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, my God."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's the truth. It's not a brag."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"My dad was the coach, and after every game,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Halfway through our last season, he left me and my mom,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and the worst part about it was that I couldn't"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"go with him to Sal's anymore."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Well, that's certainly not"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"what I expected this to be about."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Crying] Sorr... I'm sorry."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm sorry that happened to you."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I mean, what kind of dad just..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Look, you're... You're a cop and..."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And I'm a firefighter, but underneath all of it,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"we're just two boys whose dads abandoned them."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"And you and I, we're gonna solve this thing, together."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"- Okay? - Okay."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But first, let's hug like men."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Oh, boy. This is happening."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Crying]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"There, there."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"There, there. There."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I'm coming in."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Groans] Oh, Boyle."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Did you drive me out here to kill me?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I thought about it,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"but then I put that thought on hold."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I wanted to show you Ropesburg."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"You wanted this offer so badly,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I thought I'd give you a chance at the job."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Miss Diaz! Are you here to reconsider?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"We've bought the deputies bullets,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"like you suggested."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Hi, sergeant."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"No, I'm still not interested."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"But this is Detective Santiago."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"She's one of our top detectives,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"and she really wants the job."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"I...[Chuckles] Yes."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Can I ask what happened to the last Captain?"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"He quit to start a carpet cleaning business,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"because that was better than being Captain here"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"because this is the most boring place on earth."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"It's okay. It's true."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"Gotta be known for something."
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
"[Chuckles nervously]"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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