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Clips from The Office - The Chump (S06E06)

"- Okay. - But I have a wife, actually,"
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"Who I really love a lot. - Okay."
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"Whoa!"
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"I mean, isn't marriage the best, you know?"
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"Two good people finding each other,"
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"Getting all committed to each other."
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"So you love baseball. What else do you love?"
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"Let's round you out as a person."
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"Hey, I'm really sorry, I'm just trying to..."
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"Focus here on the game."
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"I get it, man. I love it."
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"You know, but as a fan, it just helps me"
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"Enjoy the game better if I know the coach loves his wife."
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"Of course. Okay? I gotta... Get back to this."
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"- Of course. - All right."
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"But real quick, I want you to meet my associate."
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"- Come on, get over here. - I'm good."
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"Oh, my god. - Get over here."
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"Sheldon, say hi to the nice coach."
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"Sorry. I got some stomach cramps."
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"Shane: It's all right, all right, just keep it going!"
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"Well, that was not at all what I expected."
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"Hoo hoo!"
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"Whoo. My heart's still racing."
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"I just looked a man in the eyes and I shook his hand."
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"All the time I was thinking, "I'm sleeping with your wife.""
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"And you know who does that? James freakin' bond."
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"There ya go. - Thanks, michael."
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"Don't thank me. Thank dylan's mom."
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"Here you go! Oh!"
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"Ooh hoo hoo hoo hoo!"
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"You love it. There ya go."
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"Now, were those for the team?"
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"Uh, no, they didn't say team. They just said coal hawks."
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"- Ah. - I don't think those"
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"Were yours to take."
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"Well, then it wouldn't be the first time"
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"I stole something away from coach shane."
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"That I do not condone this affair,"
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"And I even went so far"
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"As to force michael to confront the victim of his behavior."
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"You talked to the man"
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"Whose wife you're having an affair with."
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"No. We just talked. He's very nice."
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"And it didn't change your mind."
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"- It did not. - Michael, that's awful."
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"- Isn't it? - Yes."
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"- I'm awful, aren't I? - Yeah."
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"How can you live with yourself?"
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"I am what I am, oscar."
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"And I want what I want."
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"And right now, I want a piece of cake."
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"I am going to eat whatever I am hungry for."
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"Well, because I thought that it was a book"
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"I don't know why you were in that part of the bookstore."
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"All right, that makes more sense."
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"When you said, " I read a book about anthropology.""
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"I don't really know why you're screaming at me right now."
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"I don't care."
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"I have an appetite for life!"
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"Mmm."
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"Mmm! Oh, god."
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"That's lemon."
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"Good for you, man."
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"You know what?"
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"I think you're attractive, and I wanna sleep with you."
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"What about kelly?"
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"[quietly] is this a joke?"
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"It's hard to live that way, man."
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"You gotta really not care what people think about you."
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"I-I don't know how you do it, michael,"
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"You'll learn, baby. You'll learn."
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"I am an honorable man, and I will honor the contract."
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"But I don't have to give her the good stuff."
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"Schrute sperm are strong,"
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"But they're no match for a grown schrute man."
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"[screaming]"
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"[chuckling] let's see what she gets."
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"[thud] aah!"
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"- Yeah, I noticed that. - Are you gonna add any more?"
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"He don't give an "f" about nothin'!"
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"I have got big balls."
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"I don't think I'm gonna make it."
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"[yawning] what about an energy drink or something?"
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"It gets in the breast milk."
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"If I drink it, cece drinks it six hours later."
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"Well, it doesn't mean I can't drink it."
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"Well, it does and it doesn't."
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"Probably shouldn't tell you this,"
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"But a lotta guys in the warehouse"
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"Work multiple jobs, so... We have a place."
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"- A place? - A restful location."
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"Talk to glen. He'll take you up in the lift."
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"You sleep in the warehouse?"
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"Lightbulb's burnt out, so it's dark."
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"And the heat from the backup generator"
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"Sometimes I think about it"
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"When I'm trying to fall asleep at home."
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"But as far as the rest of the office goes,"
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"It doesn't exist, okay?"
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"- Okay. - Pam."
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"- For your signature. - Okay."
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"Phyllis."
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"Okay. Look at me."
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"Phyllis, look at--"
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"Okay, that's..."
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"All right, all right."
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"I'm sick of the little disapproving head shakes."
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"If you think that's going to have any effect on me,"
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"It will not."
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"I am going to leave right now"
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"And go to a motel to meet donna."
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"Why not your condo?"
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"Because a motel is dirty and it is sexy."
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"And frankly, the stuff that we're into"
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"Oh, michael, will you drop it?"
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"Everybody's spoken their mind,"
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"And no one's changing their mind."
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"Okay, morgan freeman-narrating-everything."
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"Do you want someone to stop you?"
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