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Clips from The Office - The Chump (S06E06)

"'cause no one's going to. Nobody better try to stop me."
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"- Are you warmed up? - No."
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"God, angela, why is that always my responsibility?"
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"Angela: What did you do to yourself?"
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"Angela: Well, it better work. Dwight: Oh, it'll work."
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"Mm. Stop kissing me."
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"It's not in the contract."
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"How do I feel about breaking up with donna?"
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"Good. Moral. I feel proud."
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"[beeping] like a grownup."
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"That was not easy because I really liked her a lot."
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"And I'm a little bit emotional right now"
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"Because I know that I absolutely"
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"At the end of the day, we have to do what's right."
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"And it was either living with myself"
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"Or...Being happy."
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"And I picked..."
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"Former."
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"- Michael scott? - Yes?"
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"Do you wanna make a comment on the rumors?"
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"[sighs] um..."
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"I have done some very bad things,"
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"Please don't throw these out."
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"Toby has been leaving radon kits everywhere,"
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"Like he owns the place."
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"The first time I threw mine away,"
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"But I figured I'd rather live with ants"
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"Than with his creepy little disk."
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"I thought it was one of those,"
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"You know, the things you turn over, and it moos,"
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"It was another ant trap, so I threw it away."
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"And the third time..."
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"- Pfffttt! - Come on, michael."
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"You're interrupting."
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"You're kidding me? God!"
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"Not to make farting noises with my mouth?"
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"What is this? - Please sit down."
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"You know, we're not gonna die of radon."
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"We're gonna die of boredom."
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"Yeah! [laughter]"
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"Right?"
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"And if I had a gun with two bullets"
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"And I was in a room with hitler, bin laden, and toby,"
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"I would shoot toby twice."
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"- No. - No!"
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"- That's not... - Okay."
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"You were being really funny, and then you went too far."
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"Okay, geniuses, how would you do it?"
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"Curve the bullet"
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"Like in my favorite james mcavoy film, wanted."
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"All that does is help you shoot around things."
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"Is there a curtain rod in the room?"
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"- I don't know. - How about make believe land"
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"Has anything you want?"
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"Is this the thing where they use an icicle"
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"So there's no evidence?"
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"Yes. We stab toby through the heart with an icicle."
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"Here's how you do it."
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"Shoot them all through the throat at the same time."
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"Toby: I don't wanna do this. Throats together."
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"[shouting] toby, just do it!"
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"- Toby, come on. - God!"
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"Ready? One bullet."
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"And...Boom!"
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"Puuuhhh!"
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"Puuuhh!"
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"- Yeah, that works. - That works."
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"Good work."
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"[cheerful music]"
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"What flavors did you get?"
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"In honor of turning 60."
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""despera-dough. Witchy-womanilla.""
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"Do you want me to go back to the store?"
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"No, no, no, it's fine. I was just commenting."
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"We gotta get these out, open 'em up."
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"Yeah. And when michael gets a broken heart,"
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"This whole place comes to a halt,"
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"So we're just trying to get out in front of this."
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"After his last breakup,"
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"He ate 40,000 calories in three hours."
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"Right, pam? That's what pam told me."
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"Yeah. Or no--well--"
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"I don't know. I'm sorry."
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"I was up all night with cece,"
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"Otherwise I'd be running this."
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"That's okay."
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"You probably shouldn't keep a baby up that late, though."
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"We have mr. Bean playing in the conference room"
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"And the pink panther movie in his office"
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"And we need bodies in both these rooms, people,"
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"So please sign up."
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"- He's coming. - Oh. Okay."
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"Everyone, remember, when he gets like this,"
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"He will wallow if you empathize."
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"Keep conversations light"
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"And if you get stuck and you don't know what to do,"
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"Make a random sound effect, okay?"
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"Farting noise, whatever."
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"Okay."
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"- Hey, everyone. - No, toby!"
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"- No! Out! - Get out right now!"
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"- Leave now. - Leave. Get outta here."
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"Oh, and if he makes a joke,"
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"Just laugh it up, no matter what."
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"Okay?"
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"Morning, everyone."
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"Hello. - Michael."
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"Nice tie or something."
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"Oh, thank you. It's reversible, I think."
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"[laughter]"
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"- That's hilarious. - That's awesome."
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"You want some ice cream?"
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"Oh--oh, wow!"
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"Are those eagles' flavors?"
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"Cake it to the limit. That's my favorite."
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"I love that."
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"Too much for me to have by myself."
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"Anybody wanna share?"
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"Boi-oi-oi-oing!"
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"Okay. Well...That's random."
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