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Clips from The Office - The Chump (S06E06)

"And having a little something-something with me?"
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"There has to be a problem with him."
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"In any cheating movie,"
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"The person getting cheated on is the hero."
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"I am beyonce always."
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"- Not this time. - Yes, I am."
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"This guy's a high school baseball coach, right?"
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"Let's go check him out,"
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"See what a horrible person he is."
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"- I would love that. - Yeah."
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"Oh, really? I thought you were the boss."
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"Let's go."
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"I can't wait to see this jerk"
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"Who is making me cheat on his wife."
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"Should punch him in the nose"
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"For what he's making me do to her."
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"[andy humming call to post] * bum bum bum bum *"
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"♪ bum bum bum bum ♪"
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"♪ bum bum bum bum ♪ - all right, andy, please."
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"- Baseball! - Shh!"
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"Try not to draw attention, please."
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"That's him. That's him."
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"- Where? - Right there. The coach!"
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"Stage right or stage left?"
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"I played batboy in damn yankees!"
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"Right there. Look, look."
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"Follow my finger. Okay? See?"
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"The grownup by the base?"
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"[announcer's voice] and now, coaching third base"
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"With two arms, two legs, and no heart."
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"Capable of feeling pain. All right."
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"Can you just--"
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"Can you just act normal for a second, please?"
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"Whatever. I'm the one blending in."
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"[ahem]"
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"Guys?"
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"- Pam. - Mm. Hey."
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"Oh, hi, gabe."
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"Can you two please join me in my office?"
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"Now."
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"It's like a sleeping bag."
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"I don't wanna be the heavy here,"
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"But honestly, guys, this makes us all look bad."
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"- Sorry about that. - So embarrassing."
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"Good. Okay."
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"End of the dressing down."
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"I just hate that part of the job, you know,"
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"The power dynamics."
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"Well, you were surprisingly restrained."
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"We will be well-rested tomorrow."
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"Okay. That's great, actually,"
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"Excellent. Go for it."
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"I'm sure you got my email about the printer fires."
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"The one with the branching decision tree?"
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"Kinda hoping it catches on."
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"Anyway, the question is,"
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"What is the best way"
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"To disseminate important information in an efficient way?"
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"Right? So, uh, let's, uh..."
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"Finally there's a provision here"
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"In the occurrence that the child is born an old man,"
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"A la benjamin button."
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"- Same page. - Same page. Go to the next one."
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"Just keep moving."
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"Whether this is all part of the matrix--"
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"Equivalent to a donor or surrogate contractor."
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"Which is actually pretty common."
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"So I have to tell you that this is a solid contract."
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"What?"
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"Look, I can't enforce"
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"- What? - So essentially,"
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"This comes down to damages."
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"Now, there is some precedence for the range of $30,000."
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"What?"
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"I don't have $30, 000 lying around."
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"I have it buried very deeply,"
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"Chase dixon is up. Could be a big play."
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"You have no idea what you're talking about."
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"- You don't. No, no. - And it's--there's--"
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"Well, home plate is like a wicket."
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"Look at him. Look at him over there."
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"High-fiving? He didn't even do anything."
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"Kid did all the work. I bet he does that at home."
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"I bet it's like, "hey, donna, why don't you wash the dishes?"
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""high-five, donna."
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""hey, why don't you bring me my slippers?"
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"Seems pretty well liked by the team."
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"Okay, well, that's because he's paying their salary."
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"You do know that high school coaches"
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"It--I'm--it- that was a euphemism."
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"$30,000? There's gotta be another way."
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"He has a 60-acre beet farm that is worth a small fortune."
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""intercourse to completion."
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"Five individual times rendered at my discretion"?"
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"Look, I don't think that's actually legal."
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"Agreed."
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"Five times for $30,000?"
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"But not in your bed. It's lumpy."
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"Those lumps are cats, and those cats have names,"
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"And those names are ember, milky way, diane, and lumpy."
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"Fine. Five times."
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"Look, I can't legally watch this unfold."
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"It's coming a little dangerously close to prostitution."
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"- I want eye contact. - No."
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"- Yes. - Do you understand"
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"I'm not some farm animal."
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"Andy: Great game, coach. Shh! Okay, all right."
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"Don't--don't--"
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"You guys are awesome!"
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"Best game I've ever seen in my life."
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"Yeah, right. You must be rootin' for the other guys."
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"- [whispers] okay. - Baseball!"
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"- Let's go. - Shane."
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"Great game, man."
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"Do I know you?"
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"No. Uh, just big fans. Both of us."
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"Are somebody's...Parents?"
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"Oh, are you guys..."
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"Kenny's dads?"
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"Ha. No. No."
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