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Clips from Broad City - Witches (S04E04)

"Beautiful, isn't she?"
Broad City
"Straight up gorgeous."
Broad City
"Ilana, I want you to name your vulva."
Broad City
"Tell Abbi how you've been feeling lately."
Broad City
"Abbi..."
Broad City
"You've been stubborn lately."
Broad City
"Like, withholding."
Broad City
"You're so full of shit."
Broad City
"You can't even focus enough to relax."
Broad City
"You're not even a vulva or a vagina."
Broad City
"You're just a butthole that happens to bleed."
Broad City
"I fucking hate you, bitch! Fuck you! (PANTING)"
Broad City
"It's okay. It's just the first layer, rage."
Broad City
"Go deeper. Tell Abbi what's in your heart."
Broad City
"I increased my dosage of antidepressants."
Broad City
"And now I have dead pussy."
Broad City
"VOICE-OVER: Dead pussy. Dead pussy."
Broad City
"DONALD TRUMP: Dead pussy."
Broad City
"It's essentially dead."
Broad City
"Dead pussy."
Broad City
"How about a little hug for the Donald?"
Broad City
"It's like a magnet."
Broad City
"Grab 'em by the pussy."
Broad City
"Grab 'em, grab 'em by the pussy."
Broad City
"Let's go, ladies."
Broad City
"Game show president nutsucker in chief!"
Broad City
"And come is a lot of who I am."
Broad City
"I'm a cum kween."
Broad City
"- Oh, good. - (CRYING)"
Broad City
"Let it out, Ilana."
Broad City
"Great for me, though."
Broad City
"I'm technically the only small business owner"
Broad City
"that that human skin tag has ever helped."
Broad City
"Betty, can you help me?"
Broad City
"Oh."
Broad City
"Oh, um, you have a little..."
Broad City
"It's a gray!"
Broad City
"Here. Take a look."
Broad City
"Oh, it's a, it's a lentil."
Broad City
"I don't know how that got up there. It's not a wart."
Broad City
"Ha."
Broad City
"I went to this small school called MICA."
Broad City
"Get out. My daughter goes to MICA."
Broad City
"Sorry, but how old are you?"
Broad City
"- I'm 51. - What?"
Broad City
"Wait, you're 51. Fuck you."
Broad City
"Sorry, I'm so sorry. You're 51 years old?"
Broad City
"I get that a lot. I'm a dermatologist."
Broad City
"to stay fresh and young-Iooking."
Broad City
"Botox, fillers, bat feces."
Broad City
"Ew, wait. (CHUCKLES) Fillers?"
Broad City
"I tell you what. I'm gonna take five stacks of these cards."
Broad City
"My clients are gonna love them."
Broad City
"Wow, okay. Cool."
Broad City
"Um, that's awesome. That'll be 50 bucks."
Broad City
"- Yeah, it's nothing for me, either. - (BOTH CHUCKLE)"
Broad City
"Oh. (CHUCKLES)"
Broad City
"I mean, the gray is super premature,"
Broad City
"and the hunchback is just a scarf to protect my wings."
Broad City
"- No pressure. - Okay, thanks."
Broad City
"I went to MICA, too!"
Broad City
"You could hear all that?"
Broad City
"(WHISPERING) Spooky."
Broad City
"- (EXHALES) - (VIBRATOR BUZZING)"
Broad City
"Ugh!"
Broad City
"You look perfectly healthy to me."
Broad City
"Orgasms are a journey."
Broad City
"that a sexual-assault bragging steak salesman"
Broad City
"has become our president."
Broad City
"Look inside yourself."
Broad City
"Ew! Wait! Ugh!"
Broad City
"Stay in the moment."
Broad City
"Fuck you, (BLEEP)!"
Broad City
"(SIGHS)"
Broad City
"That's not too bad."
Broad City
"MAN: Oh, my God. Abbi?"
Broad City
"- How's it going, man? - "Man"?"
Broad City
""Old"?"
Broad City
"- Hi, Zabby! Nice to meet you. - Oh, hi."
Broad City
"Congrats."
Broad City
"She's not my property."
Broad City
"- No, yeah. - No, no."
Broad City
"We're best friends. Soul mates."
Broad City
"Wow. Um, yeah, obviously, you're not married."
Broad City
"This is... I lost a bet, so that's why."
Broad City
"Babe, we should get some."
Broad City
""Thank you" cards, for the Planned Parenthood fundraiser."
Broad City
"- These are great, Abbi. - Thanks."
Broad City
"Oh, I guess we need 'em all."
Broad City
"Oh, uh, this, this..."
Broad City
"And I love helping struggling artists."
Broad City
"Actually, you know what? Keep it."
Broad City
"God, it's crazy running into you."
Broad City
"Say bye, Milo!"
Broad City
"Hey, Margo, can you watch my stuff for a sec?"
Broad City
"that quantifies the progress of the patriarchy!"
Broad City
"Yeah, I'll watch your stuff."
Broad City
"Yes."
Broad City
"Electoral college!"
Broad City
"Fat titties."
Broad City
"Push through. Tap in."
Broad City
"You... Are... Cum kween!"
Broad City
"Yes. No!"
Broad City
"ILANA: He can never, ever take away our cumming."
Broad City
"Looking good. Just let that sink in"
Broad City
"for a little longer before we hit the other side."
Broad City
"So, uh, this is what you use personally to look so young, right?"
Broad City
"That and 20 of its cousins."
Broad City
"It's hard to be beautiful these days."
Broad City
"it's their second full-time job where you're losing money."
Broad City
"No, I, I don't need..."
Broad City
"Obviously, your chin is of concern."
Broad City
"I thought I, I had a, like, a Reese Witherspoon chin."
Broad City
"Or, I can make you whiter."
Broad City
"Uh..."
Broad City
"You know what?"
Broad City
"I think I'm good with just this one."
Broad City
"This feels like a big deal."
Broad City
"But that first side hasn't settled yet, so..."
Broad City
"Yeah. Um..."
Broad City
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