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Clips from M*A*S*H - Chief Surgeon Who? (S01E01)

"I‘ve seen better surgeons operating on trees."
M*A*S*H
"—Tell him I‘m not in. —Yes,sir."
M*A*S*H
"|t screws up your golf."
M*A*S*H
"Barring the arrival of new casualties, at 2 I 00 hours tonight,"
M*A*S*H
"But, sir, |—— but, sir——"
M*A*S*H
"Except February which has 28."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t be ridiculous. Ofcourse I‘m going to do something."
M*A*S*H
"The last raise is mine."
M*A*S*H
"[Whispers] Coast is clear."
M*A*S*H
"Any luck, dear—— Oh! General. I‘m sorry, sir. |thought——"
M*A*S*H
"You think we‘re ready to get out ofthis chest yet?"
M*A*S*H
"I don‘t expect to be back unless you got problems, Henry—— real problems."
M*A*S*H
"Stick a drain in there."
M*A*S*H
"— Can you hold on for a second? — Sure, no sweat."
M*A*S*H
"— Where do | sign ? — Sir, I‘d read that very carefully."
M*A*S*H
"|fyou want to operate now, be my guest. | get the same pay whether| work or not."
M*A*S*H
"Still trying to get out on a psycho, eh, Klinger?"
M*A*S*H
"Digging worms... for fishing."
M*A*S*H
"— Still got a patient? —At 1:30 when I checked him last,"
M*A*S*H
"“Lack of military courtesy."
M*A*S*H
"You seriously want to press these charges, Frank?"
M*A*S*H
"Haven‘t you two anything better to do when you‘re offduty..."
M*A*S*H
"Pierce, you‘re in very deep trouble."
M*A*S*H
"His pressure is 120, and he‘s received..."
M*A*S*H
"Yes, sir."
M*A*S*H
"or I‘ll wash your mouth out with soap."
M*A*S*H
"You‘re not disturbing me. I‘m putting my time to good, constructive use."
M*A*S*H
"|fyou were a proctologist, I‘d tell you what to do with that book."
M*A*S*H
"— My fishing catalog? —Yourfishing catalog. Yes,sir."
M*A*S*H
"You were still working in a hospital when they called you up."
M*A*S*H
"— Margaret, L uh—— — Frank! |——"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, my poor baby."
M*A*S*H
"Luckily he‘s got the legs for it. [ Laughs]"
M*A*S*H
"[Yawns]"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m not very good at apologies, Pierce,"
M*A*S*H
"So am |. Let‘s over—sew the lung."
M*A*S*H
"Major Burns is probably going to continue to complain to you about the promotion."
M*A*S*H