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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Mayor's Day Out (S01E01)

"last-ever period, she went to the woods--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Ooh, sir, we are back on for Six Flags."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, what do you mean, a couple of bears?"
Mr. Mayor
"That body they found turned out to be"
Mr. Mayor
"- Shh-shh, Tommy will get mad."
Mr. Mayor
"a very realistic sex doll."
Mr. Mayor
"[laughs] Oh wait, I just-- I did that--"
Mr. Mayor
"- And we're celebrating that?"
Mr. Mayor
"Really?"
Mr. Mayor
"[laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"- It's funny you ask about placards, Arpi."
Mr. Mayor
"Yes. Jared, yes!"
Mr. Mayor
"Because my brother-in-law is the DOT liaison"
Mr. Mayor
"That was the best Spider-Man. Yeah!"
Mr. Mayor
"with the L.A.P.D. traffic coordination section."
Mr. Mayor
"- Someone's mood has improved."
Mr. Mayor
"- Huh. What do you know?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, I had a couple pudding cups."
Mr. Mayor
"And hey, if there's anything the chief of staff"
Mr. Mayor
"- That's a very cool blouse."
Mr. Mayor
"and I can do in return..."
Mr. Mayor
"[laughs] Wait, that was just a heart."
Mr. Mayor
"- Look, the mayor's office"
Mr. Mayor
"And now it's a soccer ball?"
Mr. Mayor
"issues an official proclamation"
Mr. Mayor
"Are you kidding me, Chloe R.?"
Mr. Mayor
"for pretty much every day of the year."
Mr. Mayor
"Did you-- Oh, yeah."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yes, sir, today I believe"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, let's just get this over with."
Mr. Mayor
"is Ugly Nanny Day here in Los Angeles."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, my twin daughters--"
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, everybody."
Mr. Mayor
"- Cameron and Sophie. Lovely girls."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, sir, remember. Don't eat."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, thank you. They turn 16 in May."
Mr. Mayor
"My ex-wife's new husband works for Disney."
Mr. Mayor
"So every birthday, I get my ass handed to me."
Mr. Mayor
"Last year, they got to melt Olaf."
Mr. Mayor
"- Divorce is toughest on the dads."
Mr. Mayor
"- But this year, I'm going to bury Kevin."
Mr. Mayor
"I want the twins' birthdays,"
Mr. Mayor
"May 5th, to be declared Sophie and Cameron Higbee day."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, that's something"
Mr. Mayor
"the mayor's office would have to approve."
Mr. Mayor
"- Absolutely."
Mr. Mayor
"Arpi, why don't we spend the afternoon"
Mr. Mayor
"getting the proc language just right."
Mr. Mayor
"Frank, tell us about your daughters."
Mr. Mayor
"- Wonderful."
Mr. Mayor
"For starters, the divorce was their fault."
Mr. Mayor
"- That's one hell of a proclamation."
Mr. Mayor
"Now, let's get the mayor's Jane Hancock on this."
Mr. Mayor
"Feminism."
Mr. Mayor
"- Look, I don't want this to take"
Mr. Mayor
"any longer than it needs to, but before we use the AutoPen,"
Mr. Mayor
"I should probably call the mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sure thing. Due diligence."
Mr. Mayor
"I'll just be over here doing my stretches."
Mr. Mayor
"[phone rings]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Guys, guys, guys. It's Mikaela from work."
Mr. Mayor
"Act like we're not high."
Mr. Mayor
"Hello, Officer. - Sir, it's Mikaela."
Mr. Mayor
"I just wanted to let you know that Arpi and I-"
Mr. Mayor
"- Hello, sir. - Have been together all day--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Haven't even bathroomed."
Mr. Mayor
"- And right now, we were wondering"
Mr. Mayor
"if we can maybe use the AutoPen to make"
Mr. Mayor
"next May 5th Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day?"
Mr. Mayor
"- That sounds amazing. Hey. We should meet up."
Mr. Mayor
"Wherever we are in our lives, we should be together"
Mr. Mayor
"for Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay? Love you."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, maybe we should go ahead and cancel our next stop."
Mr. Mayor
"- No, no, no, come on. Look at me. I can maintain."
Mr. Mayor
"I've been maintaining on real pot since--"
Mr. Mayor
"since before your parents"
Mr. Mayor
"even thought about having a child."
Mr. Mayor
"- Thought about? I was an accident, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- Mr. Mayor, I'm not a drug expert."
Mr. Mayor
"But according to a "Fresh Air" interview with Calvin Broadus,"
Mr. Mayor
"aka Snoop Dogg, quote, "That bleep be strong now."
Mr. Mayor
"Your body be like, what? That bleep go hard.""
Mr. Mayor
"It's not like it was in the '70s, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"- Tommy, I'm good."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm actually enjoying this boring pointless day now."
Mr. Mayor
"In fact, what's next on my schedule?"
Mr. Mayor
"Opening a community center. That's going to be fun."
Mr. Mayor
"Really. Pot almost never makes me paranoid."
Mr. Mayor
"- And helping Mayor Bremer cut the ribbon today,"
Mr. Mayor
"the L.A. King's mascot, Bailey the Lion."
Mr. Mayor
"[theme music]"
Mr. Mayor
"What the hell is that thing?"
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"It can fly?"
Mr. Mayor
"Get the--get-- He's got two swords."
Mr. Mayor
"[grunting]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh, no, no. - No, no, no--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Fly back to hell!"
Mr. Mayor
"[crowd oohs]"
Mr. Mayor
"What? What are you looking at?"
Mr. Mayor
"No!"
Mr. Mayor
"."
Mr. Mayor
"- May 5, 2021 is now officially"
Mr. Mayor
"Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day."
Mr. Mayor
"- Now, the one little hiccup"
Mr. Mayor
"is that May 5th is also Cinco de Mayo."
Mr. Mayor
"And the Mexican community understandably expects"
Mr. Mayor
"the proclamation for that day to be honoring them."
Mr. Mayor
"- I see."
Mr. Mayor
"So if the girls are going to get their proclamation..."
Mr. Mayor
"- We have to move Cinco de Mayo."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sounds time consuming and probably impossible."
Mr. Mayor
"Let's do it."
Mr. Mayor
"- That's the City Hall spirit."
Mr. Mayor
"Andale!"
Mr. Mayor
"- You want me to move Cinco de Mayo."
Mr. Mayor
"- Ocho de Mayo is wide open, Maria."
Mr. Mayor
"- Look, I would be willing"
Mr. Mayor
"to make some calls on your behalf, if..."
Mr. Mayor
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