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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Mayor's Day Out (S01E01)

"- Your word is syzygy."
Mr. Mayor
"- We run out of tape?"
Mr. Mayor
"- What? - Syzygy."
Mr. Mayor
"- City government, boss."
Mr. Mayor
"- What?"
Mr. Mayor
"It ain't Google with their free breakfasts"
Mr. Mayor
"- Syzygy! - What?"
Mr. Mayor
"and meditation rooms, and all the tape in the world."
Mr. Mayor
"- Mm. - I'd love...to take PPPORN"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, I guess we could go buy some."
Mr. Mayor
"to the Council with Mayor Bremer's support."
Mr. Mayor
"- Or we make like government workers"
Mr. Mayor
"And since he's out, his [ahem]"
Mr. Mayor
"and get resourceful."
Mr. Mayor
"This is an opportunity for you to learn"
Mr. Mayor
"chief of staff is the boss."
Mr. Mayor
"how things get done around here, ma'am."
Mr. Mayor
"So, boss..."
Mr. Mayor
"Let me show you the ropes."
Mr. Mayor
"- Arpi, obviously, PPPORN is worth looking at,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, I don't want to waste your whole day."
Mr. Mayor
"- Waste? Hey, I'm here to help you."
Mr. Mayor
"but it's not going to be our priority today."
Mr. Mayor
"- Fair enough. So what is?"
Mr. Mayor
"And I know a guy who might just have some tape."
Mr. Mayor
"- Um...today, I was thinking"
Mr. Mayor
"Double sided. The good stuff."
Mr. Mayor
"that we could all settle in, set up our offices."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm not sure why you think I'd have double-sided tape."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm sure you have a lot of unpacking to do."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm just a normal guy."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, sorry to waste your time, Herb."
Mr. Mayor
"- No, I asked them to not give me an office."
Mr. Mayor
"This is all of the desk I need."
Mr. Mayor
"Let's go, Ms. Shaw."
Mr. Mayor
"Inbox, outbox, pepper spray,"
Mr. Mayor
"- However, perhaps I could find some."
Mr. Mayor
"trail mix, and a David Baldacci novel"
Mr. Mayor
"I don't know where, just off the top of my head."
Mr. Mayor
"for red lights while I'm on my bicycle."
Mr. Mayor
"I mean, not there. [laughing] What?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, as you can see,"
Mr. Mayor
"But you need to do me a favor first."
Mr. Mayor
"my office still needs a lot of work."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm not letting you draw me again."
Mr. Mayor
"- I get it. Optics are important."
Mr. Mayor
"You're the chief of frickin' staff."
Mr. Mayor
"- My council parking placard was revoked recently."
Mr. Mayor
"You got the cherry parking spot"
Mr. Mayor
"Yes, I parked at a fire hydrant"
Mr. Mayor
"and the code to the good bathroom."
Mr. Mayor
"so I could run into the drugstore,"
Mr. Mayor
"You need an office space that reflects that."
Mr. Mayor
"but that's only because if my mistress gets pregnant,"
Mr. Mayor
"So how can I help?"
Mr. Mayor
"that would affect my work for the city."
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, great. Well, I got some magazines."
Mr. Mayor
"- Preaching to the choir, Councilman."
Mr. Mayor
"- Looking for ideas. Smart."
Mr. Mayor
"- So if you could arrange for the return of my placard,"
Mr. Mayor
"- I was going to make a vision board."
Mr. Mayor
"I might just be able to secure"
Mr. Mayor
"some very sticky tape for you."
Mr. Mayor
"- See it all together. Find a theme."
Mr. Mayor
"- But I couldn't find any tape."
Mr. Mayor
"[Bremer laughing]"
Mr. Mayor
"- We've been meme'd. Hard."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, then let's get you some tape."
Mr. Mayor
"- You just got a targeted ad for a pillow with a heartbeat?"
Mr. Mayor
"To the supply closet, boss."
Mr. Mayor
"- [small laugh]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, that's private, Tommy."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, do you think I wanted to see it?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Why am I sitting in traffic?"
Mr. Mayor
"- You guys, I'm loving the banter."
Mr. Mayor
"Where's my police escort?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Sir, why did you do that with the pizza?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, so I did order a police escort"
Mr. Mayor
"off of the internet, but when she showed up,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Why are you guys so serious?"
Mr. Mayor
"she was a stripper. [phone buzzes]"
Mr. Mayor
"I'm in a good mood now."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oh my God. - Wink."
Mr. Mayor
"So I told her to go home, and she said,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Wait, Mr. Mayor, back at the weed dispensary--"
Mr. Mayor
"- I got a bear. Then I ate a bear."
Mr. Mayor
""I don't have a home," so I said, "Come live with me.""
Mr. Mayor
"[imitates explosion] Puhhh!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Hey, sweetheart. - We watched your press"
Mr. Mayor
"- Hey, I just want to say, it was really cool"
Mr. Mayor
"conference this morning in civics--we're doing a unit"
Mr. Mayor
"meeting someone as tall as you, so feel free to partake."
Mr. Mayor
"on the boomer generation's failure and hypocrisy."
Mr. Mayor
"- I haven't smoked in years."
Mr. Mayor
"Like how a certain powerful boomer"
Mr. Mayor
"- You don't have to smoke, man."
Mr. Mayor
"wouldn't let me buy a CBD mud mask,"
Mr. Mayor
"They're edibles, you just eat them."
Mr. Mayor
"but this morning he told the whole city"
Mr. Mayor
"An hour later, you'll forget all about the backstabbing"
Mr. Mayor
"in the unicycle community."
Mr. Mayor
"to go and buy drugs."
Mr. Mayor
"- [chuckles softly]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay, all right, look, that was the mayor talking."
Mr. Mayor
"It would've been rude if I'd said no."
Mr. Mayor
"Cannabis is legal for adults. You're 15, Orly."
Mr. Mayor
"- But you didn't need to actually eat one of them."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yes, I did."
Mr. Mayor
"- You do know that legalization"
Mr. Mayor
"'Cause you guys keep dragging me all over town for nothing."
Mr. Mayor
"is racist and classist, right?"
Mr. Mayor
"So yeah."
Mr. Mayor
"A lot of marginalized communities"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, come on. It was just a couple of bears."
Mr. Mayor
"depend on the illicit drug trade to live."
Mr. Mayor
"The poor, surfers, DJs with crushing DJ school debt."
Mr. Mayor
"- You are so smart. I'm so proud of you."
Mr. Mayor
"Whoever got hurt by bears?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, when my aunt was having her"
Mr. Mayor
"[beep]"
Mr. Mayor
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