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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - Teen Eggs and Scram (S01E01)

"I'll need to ask you to leave. - Huh? Why?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Well, Eternitee, you're already pregnant."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Can't I get double-pregnant?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- No. - I'll show you!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Infinitee, your drug screening"
Teenage Euthanasia
"shows you've been doing ear whippets"
Teenage Euthanasia
"as recently as, eh, today."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I have anxiety!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- And Monotonie -- sadly, you're disqualified"
Teenage Euthanasia
"because Senator Casey Anthony intervened."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- God! My mom never stops ruining my life."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I hate her! - God, I know what you mean."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Hey, where's Annie? [ Gasps ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"How did my story about having her not scare her straight?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Plus, she'll never give up the baby!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"She can't even throw away chicken bones."
Teenage Euthanasia
"She and my brother make these googley-eyed sculptures."
Teenage Euthanasia
"They're -- They're really chilling."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- So, we ditch her."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Let's go on a Killmore Girls crime spree!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- We should rob a Chick-fil-A."
Teenage Euthanasia
"They're, like, problematic. - You don't understand."
Teenage Euthanasia
"We have to go help Annie!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"You want me to rescue her all by myself?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"What am I, he-- her mother?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- There's, like, a resemblance."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Rrrrgh. - Bye-bye."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Even when I am wearing this tiny hat?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Rrrgh! - Oh, no. Telekinesis?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"You're not scary. - Oh, wow. That's impressive."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Like, dead, undead."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Make up your mind already."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Okay. You wanna be scared?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'll show you your own pathetic deaths"
Teenage Euthanasia
"if you don't change your ways."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Monotonie, if you don't turn your life around,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"you're gonna die hitchhiking"
Teenage Euthanasia
"when a trucker accidentally runs you over"
Teenage Euthanasia
"as he's pulling off the road with plans to murder you."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hmm. Complicated much?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh, I'm sorry. Hard to follow?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Infinitee, you're gonna drown"
Teenage Euthanasia
"during this weekend's wet T-shirt contest!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- What place am I in when I drown?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- 7th. - Out of how many?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Seven! And Eternitee, for you, it's death"
Teenage Euthanasia
"by wasabi Brazil nut!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Gasps ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Panting ] - That's it."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You're out of the gang."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I've never even been to Wasabi, Brazil."
Teenage Euthanasia
"This is so boring. - Fine!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'll rescue Annie from a life-destroying decision without you!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Oh, but a quick spray-tan first wouldn't hurt."
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Everything okay?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hey, where are my clothes?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Laughs ] Oh, that Soviet-era janitor jumpsuit"
Teenage Euthanasia
"with a decaying sandwich inside?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Laughs ] I tossed it."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Augh! Oh!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- We'll get you a whole new wardrobe."
Teenage Euthanasia
"We loved spoiling Loki."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But, since he tragically died in a VR grease fire,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"we're here to spoil you."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Decaying things aren't just"
Teenage Euthanasia
"my life's purpose -- they're my passion!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba's right -- you and I have different priorities."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- But -- But our --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"our only priority is your happiness, Pete!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I'm afraid that's not going to work for me."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Goodbye, Cuddlefishes."
Teenage Euthanasia
"This was cute."
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- So, um, how does this work?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Are there stirrups, or --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You just swallow this pill."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You're instantly impregnated"
Teenage Euthanasia
"with the sperm of anonymous donor"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Sir Rod Stewart."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You'll make a great vessel, Annie."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Wow. I've never felt this cared for."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Take the pill, and you can feel that way"
Teenage Euthanasia
"for nine more months."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Annie, don't do it!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Teen pregnancy isn't all baby footprint tattoos,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"reality shows, and murder trials."
Teenage Euthanasia
"It has a human cost. - Leave me alone!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Mrs. Clomid knows what's best for me."
Teenage Euthanasia
"She made me hot cocoa -- with sprinkles!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Damn, she's good."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I should have been the beverage equivalent"
Teenage Euthanasia
"of the world's best hot cocoa."
Teenage Euthanasia
"but life filled your "Mom" mug with an undead can"
Teenage Euthanasia
"of flat Malt liquor."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I want to do better."
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Annie's in our care now."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Inseminees aren't allowed to leave the premises."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Trophy, please say your goodbyes."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I'm not leaving you to be raised"
Teenage Euthanasia
"by a well-meaning old woman again!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Why? You seem to prefer"
Teenage Euthanasia
"vapid-hot dog-criminal time to mother-daughter time."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You're right. I don't deserve a smart,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"responsible daughter like you."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But this is my second chance -- and yours, too."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You should have some carefree fun for a change,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and I should embrace tedium and misery like a real adult."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Don't get pregnant till you're actually ready to be a parent,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"because you'll be a great one."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Death powers."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I think I've made a big mistake."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- [ Laughs ] "Big Mistake" is my middle name."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Legally. Thanks, Baba."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I wanna get out of here."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You got it."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Let's run away together this time."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh, you smell like gasoline and popcorn."
Teenage Euthanasia
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