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Clips from Family Guy - Thanksgiving (S10E10)

"I don't feel like a war hero."
Family Guy
"Only a war hero would say that."
Family Guy
"Hey, so what about the female soldiers over there?"
Family Guy
"Were they able to contribute?"
Family Guy
"Eh, you know, they did their best."
Family Guy
"What with their regular bleedings"
Family Guy
"when they got shot, did they even know?"
Family Guy
"Look, guys, I'm not a hero."
Family Guy
"And I don't want to be treated any different than before."
Family Guy
"Just that you would say that"
Family Guy
"means we should treat you different."
Family Guy
"Come on, guys, let's give him all our best food."
Family Guy
"Okay, now you eat up, and then we're all gonna go out back"
Family Guy
"and play some Thanksgiving touch football-- excuse me:"
Family Guy
"war hero Thanksgiving touch football."
Family Guy
"Yeaaaaah!"
Family Guy
"I didn't even know there was a war."
Family Guy
"Okay, let's pick teams."
Family Guy
"I'll be a captain,"
Family Guy
"and, uh, Mayor West, you can be a captain."
Family Guy
"All right. I pick you."
Family Guy
"You can't pick me; I'm a captain."
Family Guy
"No one had ever stood up to me like that before."
Family Guy
"I respected him from there on out."
Family Guy
"That's a great story, Grandpa."
Family Guy
"I didn't like it."
Family Guy
"None of my grandchildren"
Family Guy
"had ever disliked one of my stories before."
Family Guy
"From then on, he was my favorite."
Family Guy
"Well, I don't like that story, Great Grandpa."
Family Guy
"Future old people are wizards."
Family Guy
"I'm... I'm drunk,"
Family Guy
"and I'm gonna throw the football too hard at my kids."
Family Guy
"Oh, Dad, do we have to-- Ow!"
Family Guy
"Game's over if you cry."
Family Guy
"I want you to learn about life, Chris,"
Family Guy
"'cause of, in life it's like this."
Family Guy
"Peter, I think you may have had one too many."
Family Guy
"Maybe it's time to ease off, huh?"
Family Guy
"What are you talking about, Lois?"
Family Guy
"Dads getting drunk on Thanksgiving"
Family Guy
"is a holiday tradition."
Family Guy
"I work hard to put a cornucopia on this table,"
Family Guy
"and you're out showing your lower ankle"
Family Guy
"to every Tom, Tom, and other Tom in our village!"
Family Guy
"Don't talk to mother in like fashion!"
Family Guy
"That's it. The belt is coming off."
Family Guy
"Let's put these bozos in a hurt locker."
Family Guy
"Right? 'Cause, uh, "hurt locker" means"
Family Guy
"some kind of war hero thing, or something."
Family Guy
"Pfft. My friends and I used to laugh"
Family Guy
"about how fake that movie is."
Family Guy
"But..."
Family Guy
"Well, wait, I, uh..."
Family Guy
"I'm pretty sure that movie came out"
Family Guy
"after you went into your coma."
Family Guy
"Right-- no, no, uh, I-I-I was talking about a different movie."
Family Guy
"Let's play ball!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, let's play ball."
Family Guy
"The world has changed around me,"
Family Guy
"and I'm mad and scared!"
Family Guy
"Lois, this pumpkin pie looks delightful."
Family Guy
"Hey, Kevin, can I see your Purple Heart?"
Family Guy
"'Cause I never actually seen one."
Family Guy
"One-one time this homeless guy showed me his purple head,"
Family Guy
"but looking back, I'm-I'm not so sure"
Family Guy
"that that was really a military thing."
Family Guy
"Pfft. I didn't want that stupid medal."
Family Guy
"You know what I did with it?"
Family Guy
"I threw it back over the White House fence."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute. I thought you said"
Family Guy
"you flew straight home from Kuwait"
Family Guy
"after you woke from your coma."
Family Guy
"When did you throw your medal over the White House fence?"
Family Guy
"N-N-N-No, I-I-I told you, I flew to D.C., ditched the medals,"
Family Guy
"and flew home."
Family Guy
"I guess that was just his dirty hobo penis, huh?"
Family Guy
"Kevin, why would you want to get rid of"
Family Guy
"your war medals like that?"
Family Guy
"'Cause it was a stupid war, you know?"
Family Guy
"All it did was put me in a coma and kill one of my bunkmates"
Family Guy
"and cripple the other one for life."
Family Guy
"W-Wait a minute."
Family Guy
"Now, I thought earlier you said"
Family Guy
"that both of your bunkmates were killed."
Family Guy
"But I just want you guys to know"
Family Guy
"I barely even stared at that penis for an hour."
Family Guy
"What? Come on, Dad."
Family Guy
"Whatev."
Family Guy
"H-Hey, why's it so hot in here?"
Family Guy
"It's too hot in here."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute."
Family Guy
"An Ed Hardy T-shirt?"
Family Guy
"That particular strain of douche bag"
Family Guy
"didn't arise until 2007,"
Family Guy
"while you were supposedly in your coma."
Family Guy
"Look, get off my case, Dad!"
Family Guy
"What do you want from me?"
Family Guy
"The truth."
Family Guy
"I was never in any coma, okay?"
Family Guy
"I bailed."
Family Guy
"I faked my death and went AWOL."
Family Guy
"I faked my own death once."
Family Guy
"No dentist appointment for this guy."
Family Guy
"So, there it is."
Family Guy
"I'm not a war hero."
Family Guy
"So now what do we do?"
Family Guy
"Me?"
Family Guy
"Am-Am I, am I supposed to say something?"
Family Guy
"you're under arrest for the crime of desertion."
Family Guy
"Oh, my."
Family Guy
"Um, maybe it's time for us girls to hit the powder room."
Family Guy
"You may use the yard."
Family Guy
"First Pat Tillman lies about how he died and now you?"
Family Guy
"Kevin, I don't understand."
Family Guy
"There's nothing to understand."
Family Guy
"Our son is a deserter."
Family Guy
"Come on, Kevin, I'm taking you to jail."
Family Guy
"Joe, wait! Not now, Bonnie."
Family Guy
"Joe, you can't!"
Family Guy
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