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Clips from The Office - Judgement (S01E01)

"Good question. Jennifer is coming in midday today, greenwich mean time."
The Office
"She will have the verdict then. Ok. I was just trying to keep the troops happy."
The Office
"They'd be a lot happier if they knew they'd got jobs."
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"Yeah."
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"That one on Benny hill?"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"He's feeling bad about himself."
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"I'm gonna have a chat to him, make him feel good about himself, turn it round."
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"You know. Look and learn. So..."
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"Timothy!"
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"- Hi. - Can I have a quick word?"
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"Always start with a joke."
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"You might want to make notes."
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"- How are you doing? - All right, thanks."
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"You don't mind if Karen sits in just to learn the ropes?"
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"No, not at all. What are we doing?"
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"Just wanted to know why you're thinking of leaving, mate."
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"I'm not thinking of leaving, I am leaving."
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"Sure. Sure."
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"I don't mean to stitch anyone up, but it's nothing I've said?"
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"I don't want to put words in your mouth,"
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"but what sort of a boss would you say I am?"
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"- I'm a... - good boss, yeah."
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"- He said good. - No. I meant you're a great boss."
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"I dont think that I'm in a position anymore..."
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"I didn't ask her out. It was as a friend. Why does everyone think..."
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"It was as a friend. Put friend. Put friend down."
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"So why the move?"
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"- It's not one thing, David. It's lots of little reasons. - go on."
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"- Can I...? - Sure."
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"Ok. I don't really enjoy the work I do here. I'm sorry, but..."
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"I feel a little bit like I'm wasting my time."
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"- That life's too short. - Exactly. Thank you."
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"- I want to retire with some stories to tell. - Not about paper."
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"I'll give you paper stories that'll crack you up, so.."
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"- That's true. They are hilarious. - Hilarious. Put down hilarious."
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"- Do you want me to go on? - How many have you got?"
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"It's like an alarm clock's gone off and I've just got to get away."
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"I think it was John Lennon who said..."
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""life is what happens when you're making other plans.""
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"Though he also said, "I am the walrus, I am the eggman","
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"so I don't know what to believe!"
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"- Ok, David, listen to me, allright... - no, no, you listen to me, "Tim"."
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"When you first came here, you didn't know about the paper industry."
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"I showed you the ropes, Ibnurtured you, I gave you a good job."
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"This has been a waste of time. Yeah."
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"- This is silly... - no, go on."
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"Don't say out there what you said in here, apart from the good boss, if you want to."
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"I don't want you spreading your bad vibes around my office, all right?"
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"You try and do a good deed..."
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"and that..."
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"you all right?"
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"Are you going to the party?"
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"Yeah, yeah. Of course. I wouldn't miss it."
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"Good."
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"Hooray."
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"- See you later. - Yeah."
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"I hope they get rid off me.."
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"because then I might actually get off my arse and do something."
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"I don't know what I'll do, but whatever it is it's got to be a career move"
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"Um..."
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"Tims advice is, it's better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb"
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"than halfway up one you don't."
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"But I don't... I just don't want to be treading water"
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"and wake up in another five years time and say, "shit! Done it again.""
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"Do you think you could...?"
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"Could you not do that here, mate? Sorry I was just wondering if you couldnt do that here?"
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"I've got to do it, mate. Really."
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"No chance you could throw it in the bin?"
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"Yeah, and maybe I should just take them around to rival companies and just hand them out."
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"Good point, but could you just throw it in the bin?"
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"- Hmm? - Can you stop it?"
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"Now I promised you some kind of answer today."
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"I don't think it's the one you're expecting. Firstly, I'm moving on."
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"- Have you been fired? - No. I've been made into a partner."
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"They've made you a partner? So that'll be Wernham Hogg Taylor Clark."
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"Thats mental. They'll have to change the stationery."
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"- I think we might get a discount though, as we're in the business. - 40% sometimes."
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"and the board thought that either you or Neil should take over the role."
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"Voted for me 5-2? There's only 7 on the board, isn't it."
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"So that's 5 out of 7. That's a landslide."
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"- David... - go on."
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"Probably why I got the.."
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"You do understand that if you take on my job, Neil will stay in Swindon"
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"Yup."
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"I'd be loyal to the whole family. It's one big family."
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"Yeah I'm just sensitive to the fact that you have strong let's say emotional ties to your team."
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"Yeah, but there is the emotion as "good in business" syndrome, sure,"
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"notwithstanding the cruel to be kind scenario..."
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"I'm sorry David, you've lost me."
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"You're not looking at the whole pie, Jenny. Wernham Hogg is one big pie."
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"and if they've let me in charge of that one big pie,"
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"I'll be in charge of the...pie and the people are the fruit, and I'm.."
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"I don't have time for the pie thing, David."
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"I'm saying, ok, I'll take the job, please."
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"Good. Ok. The first step is to meet with Alan and the board."
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"Yup. What's 5 out of 7 as a percentage?"
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"Er... 70%."
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"71.4. so..."
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"call susan and arrange to meet the board and finalise all the details."
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"Congratulations and good luck."
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"You don't need luck when you've got 71% of the population behind you."
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"- What do you think? - He looked all right."
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"- How did it go? - What did she say?"
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"What's the damage?"
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"It's complicated."
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"- Are you going to tell us? - Yeah."
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"David?"
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"We'd like to know now."
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"Ok. All right."
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"Ok. Gather."
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"well, there's good news and bad news."
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"The bad news is Neil will be taking over both branches"
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"and some of you will lose your jobs."
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"Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon if you wanna..."
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"I know, I know. Gutting. Gutting."
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"You didn't see me."
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"On a more positive note, the good news is I've been promoted."
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"you're still thinking about the bad news, aren't you."
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"There's no good news, David. It's only bad news and irrelevant news."
The Office
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