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Clips from The Office - Judgement (S01E01)

"That's not a phrase though is it? I couldn't come out and go: "I've got bad news and some irrelevant news.""
The Office
"You could have just told us about Neil and kept your promotion to yourself."
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"Or told you the good news first..."
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"there is no good news, David."
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"I think promotion is generally considered good news."
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"- We're going to lose our jobs! - You're not all gonna lose your jobs."
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"God! Just..."
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"you're not going to lose your job. You're not going to lose your job."
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"You know... you're not going to lose your job."
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"So let's get it in perspective, yeah?"
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"Come on."
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"You know there's only 7 people on the board, yeah..."
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"When are the rest of us going to find out?"
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"Sold us out."
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"Wanker."
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"What? David Brent's leaving?"
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"So you're definitely leaving then?"
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"Yup, it would appear so."
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"- Nothing going on between us. - Not like that."
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"But we're a team."
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"I'm assistant regional manager."
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"So I can still be your assistant if you're going off to the...?"
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"No. I'll be getting a proper assistant - a p.a."
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"- A lady? - Hopefully, yeah."
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"Bloody good guy actually, his assistant. Bloke called Terry someone."
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"You'd like him. He's ex-army."
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"Territorial?"
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"- No. - Regular?"
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"Yeah."
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"- What rank? - Sergeant, I think."
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"that's it, then, is it?"
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"The old team on the scrapheap."
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"It's all gone."
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"Gareth... come on."
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"You're a soldier. Yeah? Eh? Yeah?"
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"Stiff upper lip and all that, eh?"
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"Spirit of the dambusters. Yeah? The squadron never dies, does it?"
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"- Seen that film? - Yeah. I've got it on video."
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"Well then, yeah?"
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"Before he goes into battle, he's playing with his dog and everything."
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"- Nigger. - That's not offensive."
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"That's the dog's name. It's the '40s, before racism was bad innit? So.."
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"Eh?"
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"So, take anything."
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"Choose one thing. Choose a memento. From me to you."
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"- Yup. - I'll have the guitar."
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"The hole punch. That's always handy."
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"- All right? - Yeah?"
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"Bloody good one, that."
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"Like confetti."
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"Could be used as confetti, yeah."
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"Check with the vicar first, always."
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"- It's just... - put it there."
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"I don't see it as letting people down."
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"If this is a family, then maybe it's time to cut the apron strings and let them stand on their own two feet."
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"because you can be sure that if they were in my position, they'd take the job and go: "Yep! Thanks!."
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""We're off. Thanks for the opportunity and the great jokes.""
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"But, you know, this is a business."
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"I'm not doing this for an Esther Rantzen heart of gold,"
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"or if Esther's handing out awards, then do it for my charity work."
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"Five fun runs in two years."
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"So why don't you ask Philippa Norris or Simon Coleman at Mencap"
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"what they think of David Brent?"
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"So..."
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"It's the end of the financial year and spirits are in the sky."
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"# Going on up to the spirit in the sky"
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"# spirit in the sky"
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"# when I die"
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"# when I die and they lay me to rest... #"
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"You're all smug now. You're moving away. But think of me."
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"The shoe could be on the other foot."
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"- You're going to be all right, aren't you? - Yeah. I work hard. I earn my keep."
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"but unfortunately, the history books are full of just people"
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"who toil and fight for worthy causes and the freedom of others and..."
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"that's the most profound thing you've ever said, mate."
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"- What do you think of her? - A bit out of your league, mate."
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"- Definitely out of your league. - No. Smug."
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"You think you're so... just 'cause you got a bit of Donna because,"
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"I played by the rules 'cause she was out of bounds."
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"You nicked in behind everyones back. I'd have got a bit if I'd known it was up for grabs."
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"I'd have done her, but that would be shitting on your own doorstep."
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"And anyway, I don't do sloppy seconds."
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"It's phrases like sloppy seconds which make her out of your league."
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"# Now I'm walking on sunshine"
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"# whoa!"
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"# I'm walking on sunshine"
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"# whoa!"
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"# I'm walking on sunshine"
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"# hey! All right now"
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"# hey! Yeah... #"
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"Hello!"
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"Welcome, everybody. Just a few things."
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"See the raffle there? That's going to start later."
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"You can win a printer. Something I'd bloody love."
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"Although if I win it, I probably have got to take it back, or give it to charity or something,"
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"but that's.. you know.. no pressure."
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"Good luck to Ricky,"
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"who's off pursuing his career starting monday, so.."
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"Got him a collection or a gift or something?"
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"You haven't been here long. Have you? Sorry."
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"Should have seen what we got Pete Gibbons. Oooh!"
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"He'll tell you. We all remember that. So..."
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"just come from a meeting at head office,"
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"where I was officially offered the job as UK manager."
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"and I'd just like to say..."
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"that's why I told them to shove their job up their arses!"
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"We'll incorporate Swindon. So..."
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"stop it. Seriously. Move on. Let's move on."
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"So have a good... let's rock!"
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"Smashey and nicey! Kick in here. Put the record on when I do that."
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"Clumsy."
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"# You're my sex bomb"
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"# you can give it to me when I need to come along"
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"# sex bomb, sex bomb"
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"- Tim! - All right, mate?"
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"- You hit on someone's girlfriend, you don't expect to get tipped? - No no no no no mate!"
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"- What sort of a bloke would I be if I let that go? - No. Listen. Can I just say..."
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"- What are we going to do about it? - Lee, please can I just get a word in? I asked her out as a friend. It wasn't as a girlfriend.."
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"You want a soldier to cry on? What, are you bent or something?"
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"- Is this a wind-up? - Yeah. Sorry, mate."
The Office
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