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Clips from Scrubs - My Buddy's Booty (S05E05)

"but I'm having trouble moving past my breakup with Julie."
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"[J.D.] Now that we live together, Elliot and I were getting tighter every day."
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"Todd! Gun show!"
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"[J.D.] Right on cue."
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"No, Keith."
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"# No, I know I'm no Superman"
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"# I'm no Superman #"
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"[Electro music playing]"
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"Oh. OK."
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"For me, I had heard that the piercing girl at the mall was easy."
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"Why do I forget that I'm lactose intolerant?"
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"Know where there's all kinds of equipment for women? Toddland."
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"Seriously, my shift at the hospital doesn't end for three hours."
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"- I hate that place and everyone in it. - I'll drink to hate."
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"Cheers."
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"His hair smells like a pet store."
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"- [Jordan] Perry! - [Record scratches]"
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"Black hand side."
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"Yet. You don't hate your wife yet."
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"Women are everywhere. Except for the gym."
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"I'm late 'cause Dorian parked his scooter behind my new van."
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"Dorian drives me crazy too. But what are you going to do about it?"
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"I stole this from his locker."
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"How sound a sleeper you think he is?"
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"Why?"
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"to move my bed back home..."
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"J.D., I don't want to do this."
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"Who'd he get pregnant this time?"
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"Demanding?"
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"Sorry, baby. I tried."
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"Doogie?"
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"Oh, no! You fell for the grade school zinger!"
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"[Yelps] See, baby... No! Wait!"
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"It fits me."
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"Why don't you clean this up, then drop off my laundry"
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"Sure thing, Elliot."
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"I didn't say no cream. It's like having a sex puppy."
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"J.D., he's just a booty call."
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"I got a rep to protect, OK?"
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"Your hero, Keith here,"
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"It is 1:45."
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"All right. The real reason that I brought Mr. Joy up here"
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"was for a teaching exercise."
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"you smothered him to death with one of your love handles."
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"Dr. Reid told me if you picked on me I should stand up for myself."
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"- Hello. - [Gagging]"
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"let's try to be professional."
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"I left my gurney downstairs in the morgue."
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"Do you know how petty it is to get that personal?"
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"[All stop arguing]"
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"I had been stung by a jellyfish!"
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"[Pagers beeping]"
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"I'll catch you up later."
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"the little things will never bother you again."
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"Luckily, my roommate knows how to take care of me."
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"Nice."
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"Now it's a picture of me and you on a unicorn."
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"J.D., that's Gary Busey."
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"It's uncanny."
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"[Screaming] Oh, my God! That's cold! J.D.!"
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"[Squeaking]"
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"Ah! Ah! Oh!"
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"[J.D.] But still, we'd become inseparable."
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"[# The Southland: Shadow]"
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"Whoa! OK! Yeah."
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"There you are, little fellas."
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"Thanks for the ride, buddy. See you upstairs."
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"Don't worry. I've got permits."
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"Go ahead and touch 'em. The safety's on. Oof!"
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"I keep passing out, but you haven't seen it 'cause it happens when I yawn."
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"No problem. Newbie. Quick. Tell him a story."
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"Lay off. I'm still upset with this Julie thing. I'm..."
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"You know, in high school once there was a..."
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"Hope that hurt."
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"Totally worth it. I need one of you two clowns to do a work up on this guy."
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"It's going to be a giant pain in the ass."
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"Hmm."
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"Newbie, looks like it's you. All the best."
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"Damn those rollerblades."
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"OK, everybody, let's gather around."
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"[J.D.] After six months,"
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"- Where's Rex? - He's gone fetal again."
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"- Put a blankie on him. - I've got it."
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"Unfortunately, young Keith had become competent so quickly"
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"that every word out of his chiseled mouth"
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"came tainted with an arrogant smugness that he couldn't hide"
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"no matter how hard he tried."
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"Is there anything else I can do?"
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"All I need right now is a sip of your coffee to make me feel warm in my belly."
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"Oh! Keith! Look what you did!"
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"Here! Dr. Dorian, take my shirt."
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"You think you're better than me?"
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"With your rock-hard abs and your dynamite areoles."
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"Well, you're not."
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"- [Gasping] - Dr. D, what's on your back?"
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"Those, Jason, are the panicked scratches of the adolescent raccoon"
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"who, until animal control can get into my home,"
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"is currently residing in my sock drawer."
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"[J.D.] To clear my head, I decided to give scooter-blading a try."
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"I got this! Gun it, grandma!"
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"- OK. - [Revving]"
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"Ooh! Oh! Oh!"
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"[Yawning]"
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"Hmm?"
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"Whoo! Whoa!"
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"Mm-hm."
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"[Tires screeching]"
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"[Shouting]"
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"Whoo! That was close!"
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"# I can't do this all on my own"
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"You OK, Dr. Dorian?"
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"Keith, it's like you're begging me to hate you."
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"- I don't feel like I am. - You can't stop!"
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"[J.D.] We were edgy because our favorite patient, Mrs. Wilk,"
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"had developed a lung infection and needed to be intubated."
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"Basically, we had to put her in a coma."
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"At her age, there's always a good chance she'll never wake up."
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"A whole week of sleep. You'll have some killer bed head."
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"I'm nervous. Sorry. I love bed head."
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"Marge, the patient should not have to be braver than you."
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