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Clips from Scrubs - My Sacrificial Clam (S01E01)

"It was gonna be kinky, and I got embarrassed."
Scrubs
"Really kinky? Was I a bad girl?"
Scrubs
"- I've got to sleep. - Want me to take you home?"
Scrubs
"One of the best things about women is they're unpredictable."
Scrubs
"So I put on a few pounds."
Scrubs
"And I was having problems with my lady too."
Scrubs
"Get a move on. I got tickets to Bring in 'Da Noise, Bring in 'Da Funk."
Scrubs
"We're gonna take blood so we can check"
Scrubs
"These tests are gonna come back negative."
Scrubs
"I understand you might need a refresher course in hospital safety."
Scrubs
"- In my arm. - Very good, Dr Dorian."
Scrubs
"For God's sake, sir, just fire me."
Scrubs
"If you develop any symptoms that suggest you may have contracted hepatitis B,"
Scrubs
"this form states the hospital is not responsible."
Scrubs
"- Doesn't look good. - Yay!"
Scrubs
"Isn't that what you were wearing when you left last night?"
Scrubs
"The walk of shame."
Scrubs
"- What's up, porn star? - Somebody toasted that marshmallow."
Scrubs
"Come on. It's funny."
Scrubs
"The only way to get clean scrubs out is to put dirty ones in."
Scrubs
"I'd say it can only get better, but we both know that isn't true."
Scrubs
"Nothing better than a good sweat."
Scrubs
"What do we have here?"
Scrubs
"It could be viral, considering my gastrointestinal situation."
Scrubs
"- Playing. - Medical convention."
Scrubs
"I got hit with of one of my hep B patients' syringes."
Scrubs
"- He's OK, right? - No, he died."
Scrubs
"A friend from med school contracted leprosy."
Scrubs
"Sometimes I'm happy just thinking about fooling around."
Scrubs
"Freud said 90% of all human behaviour is motivated by sexual impulses."
Scrubs
"and the rest by violence in film."
Scrubs
"I need to talk to you."
Scrubs
"- He's not the boss of me. - Todd."
Scrubs
"Cool."
Scrubs
"Discipline. Some of us work on our appearance."
Scrubs
"You see that guy there?"
Scrubs
"That's you in five years."
Scrubs
"You in ten years."
Scrubs
"And guess what, He-Man?"
Scrubs
"The doctor is in."
Scrubs
"I don't know anything about those."
Scrubs
"I have not been this happy since, well, ever."
Scrubs
"Don't you think Sean and I are a great couple?"
Scrubs
"24-hour urinary metanephrines?"
Scrubs
"Gutter ball!"
Scrubs
"- Yeah, baby. - Today you're mucking up my rounds."
Scrubs
"Is your ponytail too tight?"
Scrubs
"The second you look in the mirror"
Scrubs
"- What are you doing? - Going for a run with Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"But we were supposed to go to the park."
Scrubs
"I was gonna let you tell me how pretty I am."
Scrubs
"I don't know what it is, but I'm noticing something."
Scrubs
"You're a jumpy little fellow. Your blood tests are negative, so you're fine."
Scrubs
"Wrap it up for me, Ned."
Scrubs
"- It's Ted. - I know."
Scrubs
"It wasn't that hard for me to avoid my contagious guy."
Scrubs
"- And why can't you do it? - I would, but I don't got no mojo."
Scrubs
"You know the way."
Scrubs
"- Great. So he's thoughtful too. - Are you mad at me?"
Scrubs
"You're so thoughtful and handsome, you wouldn't forget your scrubs."
Scrubs
"Don't be embarrassed about staring at my ass."
Scrubs
"You're only human, and everybody does it anyway."
Scrubs
"A little."
Scrubs
"- I'm doing this for someone else. - What do you say we pick it up?"
Scrubs
"Let's pick it up."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox, could I get you to cover Mr Winston?"
Scrubs
"...''to-mah-to.''"
Scrubs
"I thought about what you said before, and you're right."
Scrubs
"Anybody want to go to a... Not you."
Scrubs
"- Doctors. - Doctor."
Scrubs
"I love that."
Scrubs
"HMG-CoA reductase inhibitor?"
Scrubs
"Do you have any idea how annoying it is to hear myself go on and on and on"
Scrubs
"and on?"
Scrubs
"Traded him like a baseball card."
Scrubs
"of four people all at once."
Scrubs
"But it's nothing compared to losing respect for yourself."
Scrubs
"Push it out. Two more."
Scrubs
"Hey, baby."
Scrubs
"- You likes? - I miss you."
Scrubs
"Maybe tonight we can, you know, rent a movie and then not watch it."
Scrubs
"No problem."
Scrubs
"My dance card is full-up too."
Scrubs
"- For what? - I'm not sure."
Scrubs
"But I am really sorry."
Scrubs
"and then I just took it all out on you."
Scrubs
"And the work never ends."
Scrubs
"And if my internship does not go well this year,"
Scrubs
"So I think that maybe we should make this more casual."
Scrubs
"We'd just end up here again, right?"
Scrubs
"What are you saying?"
Scrubs
"Then why are you saying it?"
Scrubs
"I think I'm saying that I can't make this work right now."
Scrubs
"Then we'll kiss again, cos that was good."
Scrubs
"Sean, you don't understand how hard it was for me just to get to this point."
Scrubs
"If I don't do my best, I'm going to hate myself for ever."
Scrubs
"I hope so."
Scrubs
"Maybe I didn't have enough fibre, and failed to do my morning business."
Scrubs
"I don't know what it was, but the bottom line is"
Scrubs
"I didn't feel like spelling it out for you."
Scrubs
"You want your little speech, and that's fine, because here it is."
Scrubs
"You're a doctor. You might get sick."
Scrubs
"Get over it."
Scrubs
"And, Belinda,"
Scrubs
"do you know what else is real contagious?"
Scrubs
"That means different things to different people."
Scrubs
"After a while, it doesn't feel like you're giving up anything."
Scrubs
"- Hey, doc. - You know what?"
Scrubs
"Do you know what I want to do to you tonight?"
Scrubs
"- You didn't say anything. - I know."
Scrubs
"No. But if we're gonna pick up a schoolgirl outfit and have sex,"
Scrubs
"Of course, that can bite you in the ass."
Scrubs
"Boink. Who's your new friend?"
Scrubs
"I wouldn't."
Scrubs
"- Now, eat your doughnut. - Eat your doughnut."
Scrubs
"your hepatitis viral load. Absolutely no big deal."
Scrubs
"No big deal at all."
Scrubs
"Everybody who works in a hospital eventually gets stuck."
Scrubs
"This is a syringe. When filled with infected blood,"
Scrubs
"Mr Sarcastic strikes again."
Scrubs
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