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Clips from The Simpsons - The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed (S21E21)

"sign up?"
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"Mr. Flanders invited us to Israel."
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"I think he wants to get dad into heaven."
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"Great. More hell for me."
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"Ned Flanders, you would take our family to the Holy Land"
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"Well, we will take you up on your offer."
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"But we insist on paying our own way."
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"And Homer, put on some pants."
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"The man hates pants."
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"Homie, just tell them what they want to hear."
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"I can't!"
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"Latkes aren't as good as American pancakes."
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"Krusty, I've been meaning to ask."
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"What are you doing on this tour?"
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"I believe that every jew should make a pilgrimage"
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"to Israel before he dies."
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"Don't want to end up in hell."
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"Jews don't believe in hell. No hell?"
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"Thank you, kid. You made my day."
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"You're being paid to clean the gutters!"
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"- in conference room C. - Welcome, welcome!"
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"This is because, as you have probably guessed,"
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"I used to live in London,"
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"and that is why I sound like Hugh Grant."
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"Come on. Let's go."
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"We've got a lot of holy sites to see. Yallah!"
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"We finish early, we go to jewelry store owned by my cousins."
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"You got to haggle. Otherwise they don't respect you!"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Israel is the safest country in the world."
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"The only danger here is dehydration."
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"Drink water. Don't die. Looks bad on me."
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"- But it says here in the brochure... - Brochure? Brochure?"
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"I can't talk to you. You talk to my niece, Doreet."
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"Doreet, talk to the stupids."
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"Shalom, goyem!"
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"Shalom to you!"
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"Okay, okay, lady. You done talking now?"
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"Who is licensed tour guide here, you or me?"
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"Now, everybody, we have no time to see Masada."
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"Everybody died there for nothing."
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"Okay, first stop: Old City."
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"The Old City."
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"Where B.C. turned into A.D.! Let's go!"
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"But the breakfast buffet at our hotel,"
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"which is included in our package, closes in ten minutes!"
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"We can see the stations of the cross."
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"After we see the stations of the omelet bar."
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"Okay, let's just put it to a vote."
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"I can't believe we lost, reverend."
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"These blueberry muffins are bigger than the ones we had at Pechanga."
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"This sacred spot on mount Zion is king David's tomb."
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"who was a native-born israeli, by the way... sandals, circumcised,"
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"This is where he had his last supper"
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"before they took him away and hammered him up on that cross."
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"Hey, you. You're not part of the group. No listening!"
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"Hey, is Israel. Is free country."
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"Okay, that's it."
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"Forget it. It's gone. All thanks to Mr. Listen-for-free."
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"experience the redemptive power of this sacred land."
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"Flanders, you're not supposed to help him."
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"Yeah, thanks a lot, Flanders."
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"Homer, do you think you could show"
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"Ned, I'm an american tourist."
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"and spread some shekels with my Carolina Panthers credit card."
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"Panthers!"
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"- Homer... - Please, please, please..."
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"from opening your heart to the spirituality of this place."
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"Yes, but it means more to you."
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"Lord, I think I may have finally reached him..."
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"Homer, quit playing that back."
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"I'm not. It's my ring tone."
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"with pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese."
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"Yes, I know what a falafel is."
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"This is the western, or as you say, wailing wall."
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"that are stuck into the cracks."
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"Please, no graffiti, no making the pishen. Yallah."
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"A647253,"
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"Shelbyville 932871...""
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"Sad."
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"Sad."
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"Never gonna happen."
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"Sad."
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"Maybe, if you were Brad Pitt."
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"Hey, boy, we're supposed to be acting religiousy. What are you up to?"
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"Reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God."
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"Hey, this one's from you."
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""Dear Lord, don't let Marge find out"
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"Why, you little..."
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"Smite him like the firstborn of Egypt."
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"Dead baby, dead baby, passover,"
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"Hey, why am I running from a girl?"
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"Call me when you're old enough for your Bat Mitzvah."
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"Less hyah,"
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"You don't fight like a girl. Or even a Milhouse."
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"I work security for the tour."
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"Dealing with American punks like you"
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"counts as my military service."
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"Karate!"
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"Once again, Krav Maga!"
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"Hello, groin."
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"CHURCH OF THE HOLY SEPULCHRE"
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"Everybody finish lemon ice... not allowed inside."
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"Before us stands the Church of the Holy Sepulchre,"
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"Or as he's known here, "the man in the underpants.""
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"Beautiful tachtoonim. Oh, what abs!"
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"He was a real good-looking one."
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"this wonderful place where the end of the world will soon begin."
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"We've all got our crosses to bear."
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"Me Homer, you... the cross."
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"Uh, wha...?"
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"Homer, this is the most sacred spot"
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"It's just that these tours are so exhausting."
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"it's so nice and cool"
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"- in the tomb of the unknown savior. - Unknown?!"
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"Porky Pig's not a man!"
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"He's a pig, and he's not even a real pig!"
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"That's it! I'm losing it!"
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"Oh, will you..."
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"Chickpea fizz!"
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