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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Partridge (S05E05)

"Neither."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Apparently councilman Jeremy Jamm is not pleased"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"$13,000 for orthodontic surgery,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"$6,000 for enamel repair,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, that seems about accurate."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That guy is the worst."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We should sue Jamm's parents"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"for spawning a human turdburger."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ron, hey, let me be your lawyer."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'll object to everything anyone says,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"trial will go on forever, you don't have to pay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Problem solved."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's a kind offer, Andrew,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I won't be hiring an attorney."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'll represent myself,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I wish we had $46 million."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We could buy my parents' house and evict them."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'll tell you why."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"How will people ever respect me?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ugh, whatever. The truth is stupid."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, lying is all I know."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's how I was able to scrape by on the streets of Bombay"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and get reunited with the love of my life,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You could both take a lesson from Andrew."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"He told the truth about everything he was asked,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"even when it was humiliating for him."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's right. I love telling the truth."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Case in point,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"sometimes when I blow my nose, I get a boner."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna call you both back in that room,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and you'll recant your testimony."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- No! - You committed perjury."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But more importantly, you've dishonored yourselves."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They are so young."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- What are you talking about? - I know, right?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Sick?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Do you really expect me to believe that? What has he got, acute wimping out?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, he has kidney stones. We have proof."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, I took a video of him at the hospital an hour ago."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I feel like I never gave miles Davis proper shrift."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But the good news is I'm here to accept the key on his behalf."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Boy, it's just a real shame"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Damn it!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You just do your thing, baby smurf."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I mean, I wish you were here."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It seems pretty fun and festive."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Town mascot is here."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Fred the Sled?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They only bring him out for special occasions."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I can't believe they're doing all this for me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The universe is love."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, stay away from sharp things."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"heard you want to recant your earlier statements."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yes, I misremembered some things."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Boom, knew it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, how many were there?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You know there's nothing in there yet, right? - Yes, sorry."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We both thought, biggest yabbos we've ever seen in--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What the hell? That was important."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Game's over, councilman."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Drop the suit."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And why exactly would I do that?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We took a look at your affidavit."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We cross-referenced it with telephone records"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Lying under oath is called perjury,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and they should know, they did it yesterday."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"said something that wasn't--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let me see that."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You twisted my arm like a maniac!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Oh, no! - You monster."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ow!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right, you know what, I see what you're doing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I barely touched you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's not what I saw."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"My face! Is my face still there?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What happened to my knees?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Someone please tell me if Tom is okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'll drop the suit, okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hurry, Tom, let's get you into surgery!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, it's me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We got Jammed."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"My friend Jack and I used to fish this lake in the summer."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"One time, our boat almost tipped over,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, I had a pretty uneventful childhood."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I got you something."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- No way. - Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Where did you get that?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You're the best wife in the world."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But I don't want this."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, I mean, I love Partridge,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I have you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, you know what then?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, sorry, it was symbolic."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Is that Ben Wyatt?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Get the hell out of here, Ice Town!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and $46 million for psychological damages."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You even called me a... vegetarian."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"it had to happen today of all days."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Pfft, nah. I'm goodie goodie."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"he intended to injure Jeremy Jamm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, my God, Tom, are you okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but then it didn't."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I stole it from mayor Stice's office."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I have Pawnee now."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I'm not giving it back to Stice."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Surprised he's taking it this well."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Aghh!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, well, thank you very much. Yes, congratulations to you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"'cause he got too scared at a haunted house."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Stupid Internet."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ronny? Are you kidding me?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"is "Softy-Pants McHuggable.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"before the day of the wedding?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Can I see that bad boy?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Skim milk."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I think I'm giving birth."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Morphine. It's good stuff."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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