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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Puppet Show (S01E01)

"That's it?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"All right."
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"I'm never gonna stop washing my hands."
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"So I'm safe."
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"And it's gonna be looking for the smartest person around."
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"If you calibrated the units of weight,"
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"you could calculate the maximum velocity achieved before the point of impact."
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"Right. So it probably is one of them."
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"Giles doesn't know it. He's with them all now."
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"No, this way your scalp gets sliced off"
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"- What exactly is the trick? - Trick?"
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"Mark?"
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"- Where are the keys? - Mark's got it."
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"Willow!"
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"How do you lock this thing?"
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"your timing is impeccable."
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"- Let me. - I got it."
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"O ruler of my country, Oedipus, you see our company around the altar,"
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"Ha-ha. They prophesied that I should kill my father, but he is dead and hidden in the soil."
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"But surely I must fear my mother's bed."
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"Madness and Madness and stabbing pain and"
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"In every generation there is a Chosen One."
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"She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness."
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"- That's going to be lovely. - But I didn't do the part with the sparklers."
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"Oh, you three."
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"He thought I should have more contact with the students."
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"I tried to explain that my vocational choice of librarian"
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"was a deliberate attempt to minimise that contact, but he would have none of it."
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"Giles, into every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show."
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"If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated. Or at least helped."
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"Nah. I think I'll take on your traditional role, and watch."
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"Principal Snyder."
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"No, no, we don't. Unless you do."
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"And we think our afternoon classes are optional?"
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"- All three of you left campus yesterday. - But we were fighting a demon..."
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"No, we left to avoid fighting."
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"Please?"
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"We're really sorry, but about the talent show, you can't make us!"
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"But he was eaten."
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"You're in my world now."
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"And laugh"
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"Eugh! A dummy."
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"Yeeow! Mime?!"
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"I think dummies are cute. You don't?"
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"I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there."
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"Hi, I'm Morgan."
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"Hey, Morgan, would you like to tell some jokes?"
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"Kid, you are the worst. Even I can see your lips move."
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"You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material."
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"And they're edible!"
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"You see? I'm sure you three can come up with something equally exciting."
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"I reach into the hat and out comes..."
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"Uh, has anybody seen a rabbit?"
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"OK, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this."
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"- Buffy, uh... - What can I do? Slay vampires on stage?"
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"Maybe in a funny way."
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"Willow, you can do stuff. Uh, the piano."
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"- You play? - A little."
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"Cool. You could play and we could attempt to sing."
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"Then, no, I don't play."
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"What happened to corporal punishment?"
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"Mm-mm-mm. Look at the goodies."
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"Morgan, you're really getting good."
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"- Sounds real. - It is real."
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"You know what they say: once you go wood, nothing's as good."
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"OK, Morgan, we get the joke. Horny dummy, ha-ha, very funny."
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"But you should consider some new shtick,"
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"I think, perhaps, it was a little more complex than that."
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"This place has quite a reputation."
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"I don't like them."
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"From now on you're going to see a very different Sunnydale High. A tight ship."
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"There was a cross-country meet. She never showed up for it."
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"Giles, share. What happened?"
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"Does that mean anything to you? Besides "ewww!""
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"There are various demons which feed off human hearts, but..."
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"- Which very likely makes our murderer... - Human."
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"So Emily was killed by a regular human person?"
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"The evidence certainly points that way."
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"A person driven to kill is... It's more complex."
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"And the creep factor is also heightened."
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"It's not, though."
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"Demon or no, we have investigating to do."
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"One may have been the last to see her alive."
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"I didn't know her well. There's a dancer-band rivalry."
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"- Yesterday. - How did she seem?"
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"Happy. She was psyched to be in the show."
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"Remember the last time you saw her?"
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"- She was talking to someone. - Who?"
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"- He was acting kinda strange. - Strange, how?"
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"It's just such a tragedy for me."
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"Well, Morgan's just strange. He's always rubbing his head a lot and moaning."
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"I think I saw him arguing with his dummy."
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"All I can think is it could have been me!"
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"We can dream."
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"Right now, you and me gotta be on the lookout. Figure out who's gonna be next."
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"How are we supposed to..."
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"Hi."
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"Uh, Morgan, did you notice anything weird going on around here yesterday?"
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"No. She was dancing."
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"Rehearsing."
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"So you didn't notice anything weird at..."
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"It's OK, Sid. We're done."
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"No, I'm..."
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"It's him!"
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"He's..."
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"Next time we split up, someone else is on Cordie detail."
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"I had more luck. Everyone I talked to pointed their fingers at the same person."
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"- Morgan? - Morgan."
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"We could set up a sting operation where we get him to confess."
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"- The guy talks to his puppet. - And for his puppet."
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"Yeah, but what about the whole "it's a demon" theory?"
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"I'm looking into that, but my investigation is somewhat hampered by life in the theatre."
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"Uh, priority check, Giles?"
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"Yeah, we can't do the talent show. I'm not able to think it."
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"If he chooses, he can make all our lives difficult. A slayer cannot afford that."
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"the show must go on."
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"- This is so unfair. - Buffy, you watch Morgan."
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"- See if there's anything in his locker. - Like a heart?"
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"Or something."
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"- All right. - I'll pull up his locker number."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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