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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Det. Dave Majors (S02E02)

Milo, this is my friend Jake.

"Milo, this is my friend Jake."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, and this is my friend Dave.

"Yeah, and this is my friend Dave."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We're friends. I'll have a...

"We're friends. I'll have a..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, totally.

"Yeah, totally."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Listen, the reason I brought you here is,

"Listen, the reason I brought you here is,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Did she do something weird?

"Did she do something weird?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna ask her out.

"I'm gonna ask her out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh.

"Oh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Perfect.

"Perfect."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, that's a sippin' whiskey.

"Yeah, that's a sippin' whiskey."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So it is.

"So it is."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What's wrong with you?

"What's wrong with you?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You and Majors have too much fun last night at "The Keychain?"

"You and Majors have too much fun last night at "The Keychain?""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, it's a private bar, not a haunted motel.

"Okay, it's a private bar, not a haunted motel."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And no, I did not have a good time.

"And no, I did not have a good time."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Turns out he didn't want to be best bros at all.

"Turns out he didn't want to be best bros at all."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

asking Amy out when the case ended.

"asking Amy out when the case ended."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, he dumped her because she blamed Hurricane Sandy

"No, he dumped her because she blamed Hurricane Sandy"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

on gay marriage.

"on gay marriage."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Anyways, now when the case ends,

"Anyways, now when the case ends,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Amy is gonna marry Detective "Blotter Dynamite."

"Amy is gonna marry Detective "Blotter Dynamite.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Why do you even care?

"Why do you even care?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And things have been kind of flirty lately.

"And things have been kind of flirty lately."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Plus, we had this weird romantic moment thing-y

"Plus, we had this weird romantic moment thing-y"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

at Charles and Gina's parents' wedding.

"at Charles and Gina's parents' wedding."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, fine, I still like her.

"All right, fine, I still like her."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, I've been thinking about asking her out

"Look, I've been thinking about asking her out"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

for the last couple of weeks, but it's hard.

"for the last couple of weeks, but it's hard."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There's so much buildup now, you know?

"There's so much buildup now, you know?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I just tell them where we're going.

"I just tell them where we're going."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

'cause I told Dave to go for it.

"'cause I told Dave to go for it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

because I like her and I'm too dumb to do anything about it.

"because I like her and I'm too dumb to do anything about it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, If you want to give her a real choice,

"Look, If you want to give her a real choice,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The stakes for me are through the roof for me on this one.

"The stakes for me are through the roof for me on this one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You wanted to see us?

"You wanted to see us?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What are these requisition forms?

"What are these requisition forms?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We are throwing Terry a "please stay" party.

"We are throwing Terry a "please stay" party."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

My vision is a frozen yogurt machine operated by Pam Grier.

"My vision is a frozen yogurt machine operated by Pam Grier."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sir, we think Sarge is going to accept Copperhead's offer.

"Sir, we think Sarge is going to accept Copperhead's offer."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I never thought I'd say these words:

"I never thought I'd say these words:"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, Sergeant Jeffords can make up his mind

"No, Sergeant Jeffords can make up his mind"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, I see what's going on here

"Oh, I see what's going on here"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

leaving the Nine-Nine.

"leaving the Nine-Nine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Come on, Charles.

"Come on, Charles."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ahh, look who's finally here.

"Ahh, look who's finally here."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We already solved the case without you.

"We already solved the case without you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What? You did?

"What? You did?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Kidding.

"Kidding."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oliver was actually giving us some pretty bad news.

"Oliver was actually giving us some pretty bad news."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Carry on, Oliver.

"Carry on, Oliver."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So we swabbed the whole van.

"So we swabbed the whole van."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We didn't find anything.

"We didn't find anything."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No hairs, no fibers, no semen.

"No hairs, no fibers, no semen."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And a rental van is usually a frickin' Jackson Pollock.

"And a rental van is usually a frickin' Jackson Pollock."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right.

"All right."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

They also wiped down the masks

"They also wiped down the masks"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

with some sort of bleach solution.

"with some sort of bleach solution."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

They were really covering their tracks.

"They were really covering their tracks."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Check it out.

"Check it out."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Although, I did learn I should never rent a van again.

"Although, I did learn I should never rent a van again."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, can I talk to you for a second privately?

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second privately?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This isn't gonna be that thing where you pretend you got

"This isn't gonna be that thing where you pretend you got"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

an important text from Holt,

"an important text from Holt,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and it's just that video of screaming sheep.

"and it's just that video of screaming sheep."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I promise you it's not, but I do stand by that prank.

"I promise you it's not, but I do stand by that prank."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, I almost feel weird saying this,

"Okay, I almost feel weird saying this,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but I wanted to ask you...

"but I wanted to ask you..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

wow, those pictures are not helping.

"wow, those pictures are not helping."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

They're really gonna have to re-grout.

"They're really gonna have to re-grout."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You are so consistent.

"You are so consistent."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Anyways, the question I wanted to ask you is...

"Anyways, the question I wanted to ask you is..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So I got the results on that feces.

"So I got the results on that feces."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Real quick, what was the other...

"Real quick, what was the other..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Dog and bear.

"Dog and bear."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wow.

"Wow."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I thought you'd really be into that feces puzzle.

"I thought you'd really be into that feces puzzle."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Normally, yes.

"Normally, yes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

More specifically...

"More specifically..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- Guys, dispatch called. - Great, Dave's here now.

"- Guys, dispatch called. - Great, Dave's here now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The check-cashing babies just struck on Flatbush.

"The check-cashing babies just struck on Flatbush."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We've got to go.

"We've got to go."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What did you want to tell me?

"What did you want to tell me?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, Captain Holt sent a very important text.

"Oh, Captain Holt sent a very important text."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh.

"Oh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What's that smell?

"What's that smell?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's lavender. Terry loves lavender.

"That's lavender. Terry loves lavender."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hold it.

"Hold it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, Terry, got any new baby pics?

"Hey, Terry, got any new baby pics?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You hate looking at pictures of my twins.

"You hate looking at pictures of my twins."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I didn't need to take photos of both.

"I didn't need to take photos of both."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That doesn't sound like Auntie Gina.

"That doesn't sound like Auntie Gina."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is your weird way of trying

"This is your weird way of trying"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

to make me stay at the Nine-Nine.

"to make me stay at the Nine-Nine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, I am loving it.

"Well, I am loving it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know, the funny thing is, Cagney naps better,

"You know, the funny thing is, Cagney naps better,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but at night, that's Lacey's time to shine.

"but at night, that's Lacey's time to shine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

One time, she went 8-to-8.

"One time, she went 8-to-8."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jeffords, I need you to digitize all your case files

"Jeffords, I need you to digitize all your case files"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

from 1995 to 1999 inclusive by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.

"from 1995 to 1999 inclusive by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But it's already 1:00.

"But it's already 1:00."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I told Sharon we'd have dinner tonight.

"I told Sharon we'd have dinner tonight."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

so that I could stay up and... kiss.

"so that I could stay up and... kiss."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I suggest putting that caffeine towards something

"I suggest putting that caffeine towards something"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

more productive than "kissing."

"more productive than "kissing.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sir, what are you doing?

"Sir, what are you doing?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Making sure that Jeffords' case files are digitized

"Making sure that Jeffords' case files are digitized"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I thought I was perfectly clear.

"I thought I was perfectly clear."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Despite what I've been saying for years,

"Despite what I've been saying for years,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that ass just might quit.

"that ass just might quit."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I don't get it.

"I don't get it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There's no rhyme or reason to the locations they hit.

"There's no rhyme or reason to the locations they hit."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This place was so well-guarded.

"This place was so well-guarded."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that just has an old man out front?

"that just has an old man out front?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna go grab some coffee.

"I'm gonna go grab some coffee."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Great.

"Great."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Mm.

"Mm."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, now that it's just us,

"Hey, now that it's just us,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

there's a thing I wanted to...

"there's a thing I wanted to..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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