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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Shaquille O'Neal Motors (S02E02)

"Don't wait up, boys. We'll be gone for hours."
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"Sounds like it's time to party."
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"- You got one, too? - Mm-hmm."
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"Shampoo?"
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"Okay."
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"Uh-oh. Here comes trouble."
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"Ooh-la-la. Pert plus!"
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"Thank you!"
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"It bothf us."
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"Eddie, Emery,"
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"I want you to meet Oinker, Frisky, Can-Do,"
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"Tina Pham, Peanut, Shamus, Pi, and Wally-Wally."
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"Hello! Evan, I..."
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"Stop. Are those beanie babies?"
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"Meet Oinker, Frisky, Can-Do, Tina Pham,"
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"Peanut, Shamus, Pi, and Wally-Wally."
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"- You know these things? - I collect them."
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"I have all of these,"
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"except that boring-looking unicorn with the tattered label."
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"But since we're friends,"
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"For, wha like $10?"
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"$10? Those are limited editions."
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"Pocolltibles at the mall"
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"would pay a fortune for these."
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"Well, it's 10:00 A.M. and we already got beef."
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"Hmm! Excuse us."
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"- Why did you say that? - I don't know, it just cam out."
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"Louis, where are we going?"
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"You know I don't like surprises."
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"Sorry! I just forgot my keys!"
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"Surprise!"
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"Poor Mitch."
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"That was the day of his junior-college graduation."
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"Ah, here we are."
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"Shaquille O'Neal Motors."
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"Surprise!"
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"I know what you're thinking, but don't worry."
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"We can afford it."
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"just like on our wedding night."
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"Happy anniversary."
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"Hey!"
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"Hi. My name's Clark."
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"Welcome to Shaq Motors. How can I help you?"
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"Hello. I'm Louis."
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"That's wonderful, Louis."
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"Now, where is your lovely wife today?"
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"I know, I know."
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"What I'm trying to say is I don't see anyone with you."
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"Jessica?"
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"Where'd she go?"
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"Wives, huh?"
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"like all the cars do here at Shaq Motors."
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"Yeah."
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"I've been looking all over for you."
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"I turned away for one second and you were gone."
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"What happened? I had to get out of there."
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"I just needed to get a drink someplace quiet"
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"where I wouldn't be bothered."
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"Usually when I'm at a bar,"
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"Jewish guys are all over me, but not here for some reason."
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"No, Deb. He's just my husband."
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"Louis, sit down."
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"There's something I need to tell you."
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"Ooh, that conversation."
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"You're gonna need more chex mix."
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"I haven't been completely honest with you"
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"about our wedding night."
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"Mr. and Mrs. Huang,"
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"we've been negotiating for hours."
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"I'll knock off another $200,"
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"but that's the best I can do."
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"Jessica Huang. That's my wife."
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"I'm gonna go warm up our new van."
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"What a night!"
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"Don't feel bad."
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"You'll be able to tell your firstborn"
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"that you tangled with the best."
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"My firstborn is about all you left me with."
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"That and the floor mats."
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"Repeat that now, what you just said."
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"You opted out of the optional floor-mat option."
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"No."
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"That's it?"
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"Louis, I blew it!"
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"Free floor mats!"
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"That's the one thing dealers always throw in,"
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"and I missed it!"
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"I overlooked the most basic detail!"
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"You're overreacting. It was just floor mats."
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"No, it wasn't just floor mats. It was our wedding night."
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"It was the first thing that we did as a married couple,"
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"And every year, I'm forced to think about it."
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"So, what are we supposed to do?"
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"If you want a car, get a car."
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"But I can't walk through those automatic glass doors again"
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"I remember the first time we signed our names together."
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"Wiener-free since '83."
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"What are you doing?"
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"I figured out a way to get us the hot dogger."
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"I don't know."
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"Do you think Evan's gonna be okay with this?"
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"He's fine with it. I already asked him."
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"Hey, Evan, can I sell your beanie babies"
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"Yeah, that's a great idea, Eddie."
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"Why didn't I think of that?"
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"Awesome. Let's do it."
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"Okay, come on."
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"Well, it wasn't how I planned it,"
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"but I went and got the car by myself like you wanted me to."
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"These are real."
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"What's going on?"
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"I wanted to apologize."
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"You had no way of knowing how I felt,"
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"and you were jusying to do something nice."
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"No, you shouldn't have. Deb had to drive me home."
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"She's very handy. Her husband is lucky."
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"Come on. Let me show you the new car."
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"I have to say, Louis, this is a fine machine."
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"The neutral luster is so elegant."
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"And check this out... the door..."
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