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Clips from Haters Back Off! - Becuming a Magichin (S01E01)

"Hey, guys. It's me, Miranda."
Haters Back Off!
"[fast-forwarding]"
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"[scoffs] My freaking uncle's here."
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"- Yes. - [gasps] And?"
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"Miranda, tutorial videos are all the rage right now."
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"This video is gonna be a hit. [whispers] Trust me."
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"[theme music playing]"
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"- Magic club? - Yeah."
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"I'm talking, I get a certificate. I get to pay dues."
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"[groans]"
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"Well, why... [clears throat]"
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"Oh."
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"Hmm."
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"Patrick? [chuckles]"
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"Miranda, my Five Phase Plan has been scientifically formulated."
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"Magic club?"
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"What? Yeah, right."
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"No, Jim, what're you doing?"
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"Well, I can't live in my room. My toilet is overflowed with poop."
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"Now you're just gonna have to find a private place that's less public."
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"Honey, you haven't eaten anything."
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"You can't just stay in here and paint every day."
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"I'm listening."
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"Okay. Thanks for the ketchup, Mom."
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"So watch my... position here."
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"What the heck? It didn't disappear."
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"Maybe I can..."
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"I just came by to let you know that I decided to green light"
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"this whole "skipping ahead to phase five magic" idea."
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"Patrick! Come... Can I talk to you over here?"
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"Let me give you a piece of advice, pal."
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"but let me tell you something."
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"Now it's time for me to disappear."
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"Magic isn't real."
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"these little dinky, stupid magic tricks."
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"So this box is actually magic?"
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"Yes, this box is magic."
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"[sighs] That's incredible."
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"Just, uh... [whooshes]"
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"[Miranda] What's that? [Patrick] Uh, this, uh... it's nothing."
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"- Are those my popsicle sticks? - No, you know, this is..."
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"This is... This is just something that I have."
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"Well, you told me to find a more private, out-of-the-way place to live, remember?"
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"Besides, I have some pretty serious night sweating issues,"
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"Yes. Okay, great."
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"- I need two white tigers, please. - [sighing]"
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"Uh, okay, then I'll just settle for one regular orange one."
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"- They hung up on me. - Well, what are you doing, Jim?"
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"Well, I'm trying to help Miranda."
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"There's no way she's gonna get in that club without a pair of tigers."
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"I worry about that girl sometimes."
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"Really?"
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"She has no stage presence."
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"You know, I probably don't tell you this often enough, but..."
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"[sniffs] sometimes it's from the day-old shelf,"
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"[sighs] Thanks, Jim."
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"Oh, right. Of course, yes."
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"You are..."
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"I really appreciate that."
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"Well, good night, Jim."
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"[clears throat]"
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"- [clears throat] - Jim!"
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"[sniffs]"
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"[snorts]"
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"[muffled] Ta-da!"
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"Oh, Patrick. I heard Miranda was performing here."
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"[shushes and stammers] You can't be here."
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"So, uh, I need you to leave. I'm sorry."
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"- Okay. - But I've got everything under control."
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"- Don't worry. - Okay."
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"[whispers] Patrick! Oh, gosh!"
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"Oh, God!"
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"Uh..."
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"I caught a dove for your magic show."
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"Miranda!"
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"and you even have that little cup for water."
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"This time, more brown."
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"I don't even want to know what that means."
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"You are a volatile peoples. Emotionally unstable."
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"Anyways, I have a pigeon that I need to look like a dove."
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"[jazz music playing]"
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"♪ We're gonna do a magic trick For you and you ♪"
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"five, six, seven, eight."
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"Juggling! Okay."
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"♪ Ta-da ♪"
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"- Miss Bethany? - Oh, hi again, Patrick."
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"Is he okay? I guess we'll never know."
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"You know, Miss Bethany, since you're here,"
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"I think Miranda is a truly special person, and..."
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"the temple."
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"when we're not in a box getting stabbed with swords?"
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"[Miranda] Is he okay? Let's find out."
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"Not a trace of blood."
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"Yes!"
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"I did it."
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"Ta-da!"
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"That means you're supposed to applaud."
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"Nothing?"
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"[Patrick and Bethany scream]"
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"[sirens wailing]"
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"What about the ER?"
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"Mmm. Doctors say it's 'cause I lost 10% of my total blood volume on the way here."
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"But I agree. It's probably the dancing."
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"when you try to learn magic from a magician and not a manager."
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"- [Jim] But hang in there. - [groaning softly]"
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"and then I jumped in there and said it. I really meant it."
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"I missed you a real lot more."
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"Ow..."
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"It hurt being away."
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"How you feeling?"
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"[sighs]"
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"[sighs]"
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"Yes. Yes. I'm totally fine."
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"Good."
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"No... I wanna stay with Patrick."
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"and... A professional singer."
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"So... [sighs] I don't have any voice students right now,"
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"but I would like to get some, so..."
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"I'm going to give you a free voice lesson,"
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