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Clips from Arrested Development - Sword of Destiny (S02E02)

- What? - You have to control everyone's life.

"- What? - You have to control everyone's life."

Arrested Development

I don't know where you get that from. Oscar, stop licking that sore.

"I don't know where you get that from. Oscar, stop licking that sore."

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- I'm not. - Well, the operation went pretty smoothly.

"- I'm not. - Well, the operation went pretty smoothly."

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But once I got in there, the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh.

"But once I got in there, the appendix wasn't so inflamed. D'oh."

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- I knew it. - Okay. Well, can we get me out of here?

"- I knew it. - Okay. Well, can we get me out of here?"

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I gotta retrain my son how to drive, and I need to stop by the office...

"I gotta retrain my son how to drive, and I need to stop by the office..."

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There seems to be a bacterial infection from the operation...

"There seems to be a bacterial infection from the operation..."

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- which left an abscess in your abdominal wall. - Ew.

"- which left an abscess in your abdominal wall. - Ew."

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I know, it's pretty gross. It could heal on its own.

"I know, it's pretty gross. It could heal on its own."

Arrested Development

I want to show these interns what the best doctor in Southern California can do.

"I want to show these interns what the best doctor in Southern California can do."

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- Well, I respect your decision. - I'll check on you soon.

"- Well, I respect your decision. - I'll check on you soon."

Arrested Development

Michael, this crazy point you're trying to make about respecting authority is absurd.

"Michael, this crazy point you're trying to make about respecting authority is absurd."

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And one day, you're gonna wake up and find out it has caused you nothing but trouble.

"And one day, you're gonna wake up and find out it has caused you nothing but trouble."

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The F.B.I. Has pinpointed the location of escaped convict George Bluth today...

"The F.B.I. Has pinpointed the location of escaped convict George Bluth today..."

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thanks to a tape turned in by a rabid and disgruntled employee.

"thanks to a tape turned in by a rabid and disgruntled employee."

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Booyah!

"Booyah!"

Arrested Development

Buster and Gob were waiting to meet with Tony Wonder.

"Buster and Gob were waiting to meet with Tony Wonder."

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All right. He's gonna lowball us, so just let me do the talking, all right, Busty?

"All right. He's gonna lowball us, so just let me do the talking, all right, Busty?"

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I wonder where he is.

"I wonder where he is."

Arrested Development

- waiting for someone to use the word "wonder." - I wonder where he is.

"- waiting for someone to use the word "wonder." - I wonder where he is."

Arrested Development

Oh, hey, you've got a piece of lettuce on your shoulder.

"Oh, hey, you've got a piece of lettuce on your shoulder."

Arrested Development

Ta-da!

"Ta-da!"

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Hey, can you, uh, go wait with the other assistants over there?

"Hey, can you, uh, go wait with the other assistants over there?"

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I grant him magic sanctuary.

"I grant him magic sanctuary."

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I second the sanctuary. But with a clause of silence.

"I second the sanctuary. But with a clause of silence."

Arrested Development

So, I want you guys to be on Use Your Illusion. Only now it's "Allusion" with an "A."

"So, I want you guys to be on Use Your Illusion. Only now it's "Allusion" with an "A.""

Arrested Development

like, you know, Poe or something or- Don't do Poe, 'cause I'm doin' Poe.

"like, you know, Poe or something or- Don't do Poe, 'cause I'm doin' Poe."

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- What about Chaucer? - Just not Poe, okay?

"- What about Chaucer? - Just not Poe, okay?"

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- What? - Eh! Clause of silence.

"- What? - Eh! Clause of silence."

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Look, my assistant is my partner. I need him.

"Look, my assistant is my partner. I need him."

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Look at Tiagra, my girl. Don't look at her.

"Look at Tiagra, my girl. Don't look at her."

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'Cause you look at her and it affects her in a way that I don't feel comfortable with.

"'Cause you look at her and it affects her in a way that I don't feel comfortable with."

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Or go for it. I don't care, whatever. I'm just sayin' it's your world.

"Or go for it. I don't care, whatever. I'm just sayin' it's your world."

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All right, you know what? The trick is on you, Tony Wonder.

"All right, you know what? The trick is on you, Tony Wonder."

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I'm the magician. He's the assistant. We don't need him!

"I'm the magician. He's the assistant. We don't need him!"

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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait."

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Are you tellin' me that you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities?

"Are you tellin' me that you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities?"

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That's right. And I'm gonna perform the real trick this afternoon.

"That's right. And I'm gonna perform the real trick this afternoon."

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- I guess we'll see what you can do then. - I guess we will.

"- I guess we'll see what you can do then. - I guess we will."

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And clean the- Dumbwaiter while you're at it!

"And clean the- Dumbwaiter while you're at it!"

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Oh, I was really hoping for a graham cracker.

"Oh, I was really hoping for a graham cracker."

Arrested Development

- Did you get the abscess? - Well, uh, we had a little whoopsie.

"- Did you get the abscess? - Well, uh, we had a little whoopsie."

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They think George is in Iraq. All the pressure's off him.

"They think George is in Iraq. All the pressure's off him."

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That was on the news? I thought that I dreamt that.

"That was on the news? I thought that I dreamt that."

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- Oh, they're gonna think that I'm there. Ow! - But not to worry.

"- Oh, they're gonna think that I'm there. Ow! - But not to worry."

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and the employees have everything under control.

"and the employees have everything under control."

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They think the company's in trouble and that I'm in Iraq.

"They think the company's in trouble and that I'm in Iraq."

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Michael, back to bed with you. You look awful.

"Michael, back to bed with you. You look awful."

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Michael rushed to the office only to find that his worst fears had come true.

"Michael rushed to the office only to find that his worst fears had come true."

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but I walk away for one minute, look what happens to the company.

"but I walk away for one minute, look what happens to the company."

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I mean, this is why I didn't want- Damn it!

"I mean, this is why I didn't want- Damn it!"

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Dad, you should probably take it easy.

"Dad, you should probably take it easy."

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I said that this would happen. I said respect my authority, but no one would listen.

"I said that this would happen. I said respect my authority, but no one would listen."

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Everybody had their own better id- Ow!

"Everybody had their own better id- Ow!"

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And maybe it was the stress or even the misplaced snippers...

"And maybe it was the stress or even the misplaced snippers..."

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However, thanks to taking on his authority, the employees had never felt better.

"However, thanks to taking on his authority, the employees had never felt better."

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We leased the top floor to another company and moved down here.

"We leased the top floor to another company and moved down here."

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But we can stay in business without having to build the extra houses.

"But we can stay in business without having to build the extra houses."

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We did it. We did it!

"We did it. We did it!"

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And back at the Gothic Castle, Gob was performing his illusion.

"And back at the Gothic Castle, Gob was performing his illusion."

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Hey, after I cut the candle in half, switch out the real sword for the fake one.

"Hey, after I cut the candle in half, switch out the real sword for the fake one."

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I'm the real magician. This man is only the assistant.

"I'm the real magician. This man is only the assistant."

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Buster, the sword.

"Buster, the sword."

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Handle first. Handle first.

"Handle first. Handle first."

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He cut off my- fingers!

"He cut off my- fingers!"

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- Guy is good. Damn good. - Bravo!

"- Guy is good. Damn good. - Bravo!"

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You know what, George Michael?

"You know what, George Michael?"

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I think I'm going to give up some of my authority, starting now.

"I think I'm going to give up some of my authority, starting now."

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You drive home. All right?

"You drive home. All right?"

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Unfortunately, Michael's decision to let his son...

"Unfortunately, Michael's decision to let his son..."

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Your leg's gonna be fine, Michael.

"Your leg's gonna be fine, Michael."

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I've shortened your calf muscles to theoretically increase your jumping ability.

"I've shortened your calf muscles to theoretically increase your jumping ability."

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But if it works, I could be the best in the world.

"But if it works, I could be the best in the world."

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On the next Arrested Development.

"On the next Arrested Development."

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Go ahead, take a look.

"Go ahead, take a look."

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- Nice job, Frank. - Amazing.

"- Nice job, Frank. - Amazing."

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And the F.B.I. Finds footage more troublesome than they'd originally thought.

"And the F.B.I. Finds footage more troublesome than they'd originally thought."

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It appears there was something else on the videotape.

"It appears there was something else on the videotape."

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You like bread?

"You like bread?"

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Michael, Starla told us about the cutback.

"Michael, Starla told us about the cutback."

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That's what I need you for, Michael.

"That's what I need you for, Michael."

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because I've been banned from the Magicians' Alliance.

"because I've been banned from the Magicians' Alliance."

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Let's go over the route to the hospital. Ow!

"Let's go over the route to the hospital. Ow!"

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Well, you're not on the banned list, so you can go on at 6:00.

"Well, you're not on the banned list, so you can go on at 6:00."

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My eye!

"My eye!"

Arrested Development

Is this right?

"Is this right?"

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Oh, it still needs three stamps.

"Oh, it still needs three stamps."

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Give me the phone. I want to call George Michael, tell him I'm okay.

"Give me the phone. I want to call George Michael, tell him I'm okay."

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What are you talking about? He's driving? I told Lindsay not to teach him.

"What are you talking about? He's driving? I told Lindsay not to teach him."

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That would have been a good spot for a trick.

"That would have been a good spot for a trick."

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We're too late. It's gone. Everybody said that I was too controlling...

"We're too late. It's gone. Everybody said that I was too controlling..."

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I'm not kidding! He cut off my- fingers!

"I'm not kidding! He cut off my- fingers!"

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was not a good decision.

"was not a good decision."

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You'll be sorry! Wait, that doesn't work after his line.

"You'll be sorry! Wait, that doesn't work after his line."

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without wanting to kill themselves.

"without wanting to kill themselves."

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I gotta get down there. I need your car keys.

"I gotta get down there. I need your car keys."

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And I wouldn't worry about getting hit by any more cars.

"And I wouldn't worry about getting hit by any more cars."

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We think it's a terrorist training film.

"We think it's a terrorist training film."

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- No, I just work down the hall and- - No.

"- No, I just work down the hall and- - No."

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And Gob caught up with Michael.

"And Gob caught up with Michael."

Arrested Development

I'll buy you 100 George Michaels you can teach to drive!

"I'll buy you 100 George Michaels you can teach to drive!"

Arrested Development

- to make sure my business doesn't go to hell. - And, not so fast, Michael.

"- to make sure my business doesn't go to hell. - And, not so fast, Michael."

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Well, I am the best doctor in the state.

"Well, I am the best doctor in the state."

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He's on his way here. We passed him on the road.

"He's on his way here. We passed him on the road."

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Michael Bluth is not... in Iraq.

"Michael Bluth is not... in Iraq."

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but Michael had never felt worse.

"but Michael had never felt worse."

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Michael Bluth hadjust been stunned to discover...

"Michael Bluth hadjust been stunned to discover..."

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However, his desire to now be discovered as himself was becoming bothersome.

"However, his desire to now be discovered as himself was becoming bothersome."

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- Hey, I'm fine. - Oh?

"- Hey, I'm fine. - Oh?"

Arrested Development

Tobias said he's handling it with the F.B. I...

"Tobias said he's handling it with the F.B. I..."

Arrested Development

I got it all under control, and nobody needs to move.

"I got it all under control, and nobody needs to move."

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because you have to be in total control of everything.

"because you have to be in total control of everything."

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Because Dr. Stein here has already been assigned to his case.

"Because Dr. Stein here has already been assigned to his case."

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Well, on paper, yes.

"Well, on paper, yes."

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people will know that I'm the one who belongs back in the Alliance.

"people will know that I'm the one who belongs back in the Alliance."

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- Unless I left them in my scrubs. - Michael, good news.

"- Unless I left them in my scrubs. - Michael, good news."

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And so Michael and George Michael headed to the office.

"And so Michael and George Michael headed to the office."

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In fact, Gob was at Ancient Chinese Secret at that moment...

"In fact, Gob was at Ancient Chinese Secret at that moment..."

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- but not for a migraine. - Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle.

"- but not for a migraine. - Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle."

Arrested Development

But currently, George Sr. Was in the attic making a videotape-

"But currently, George Sr. Was in the attic making a videotape-"

Arrested Development

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