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Clips from New Girl - Cece Crashes (S01E01)

"Schmidt dances... Whoa. What the...?"
New Girl
"You know what? I'm gonna go to bed. Good night."
New Girl
"What just happened? It's really not great under here. You have to love hair."
New Girl
"You can use my bed. I'll sleep on the couch. Over here. Over here."
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"Oh. - Over here. Over here."
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"Are you sheepdogging her?"
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"Over here, over here, over here. Not here. Here we go."
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"Ugh."
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"Good night, Cece."
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"Yes! Yes."
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"She is sleeping on my sheets right now. Not yours, bro. Mine."
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"Parkour."
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"You know what? I think I might actually have a chance with her."
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"I just have to be cooler than that guy."
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"Parkour!"
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"A wise man foretold of a magical night..."
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"where I would engage in nonsexual foreplay with a model, and tonight..."
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"- Don't say... ...is that night."
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"I'm a closer. I'm gonna close this conversation right now."
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"Watch this. Boom. Blam. Closed. Parkour."
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"Apolo Ohno."
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"- Well, at least this tires him out, right? - Yeah."
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"She's great. You're gonna love her. Do you want some eggs?"
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"I've got my own breakfast. I don't need you to..."
New Girl
"- What? - I don't know, take care of me."
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"Just stop being so nice."
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"Your mother's being so nice."
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"Slam on my mother."
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"Your mother's gonna slam on your mother."
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"And 4000. Yeah."
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"Oh, my God."
New Girl
"You're covered in oil?"
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"What, oil? No. This is just... Uh..."
New Girl
"You okay?"
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"Schmidt. Hey, are you okay?"
New Girl
"Whoa. Whoa!"
New Girl
"I just blacked out for a second. Anything weird happen?"
New Girl
"Okay, I need some water, so can you move?"
New Girl
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen, honey. Just, you know, slide me like a curtain, okay?"
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"There you go. I'm good. I'm good. Sweet."
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"- What's going on, guys? - Hey... Oh, you're all here."
New Girl
"Um, does the water get any hotter than this?"
New Girl
"Uh... Do you want me...? Uh..."
New Girl
"I mean, I could give you... If..."
New Girl
"Actually, I'll just figure it out myself."
New Girl
"But do you have any actual soap?"
New Girl
"Because all I can find in here is body gelato."
New Girl
"- That would be Schmidt's. - Mine."
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"- Don't use it all. - I'll just not touch it."
New Girl
"Okay. - Hey. Why are you guys all in here?"
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"- I'm brushing my teeth. - Doing our things."
New Girl
"She hogging the shower? Cece, hurry up."
New Girl
"Sorry, I just... I can't find any bigger towels for some reason."
New Girl
"You have a beautiful body. I appreciate that about you."
New Girl
"Okay, come on."
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"- I made you breakfast. - You did?"
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"Yeah. - Sorry. I just..."
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"- Disappointed with all of you, especially you. - It was a bad moment."
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"- I thought you were better than that. - I know. I am sometimes."
New Girl
"Did you see that cleavage?"
New Girl
"I just wanna get my arm stuck down there, like, 127 Hours style."
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"And then... And then:"
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"I'll just cut it for days."
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"- I'll cut through the bone, the nerve. - Schmidt!"
New Girl
"You weren't upset because I was dancing with Nick?"
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"- No, of course not. - I think he's really into you."
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"Nick? No."
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"- No. - Come on, Jess."
New Girl
"This is classic Eduardo."
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"- You want this to go to Cece, right? - Jess."
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"No. Jess."
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"- You don't want me to give it to Cece? - Sí, sí, for you."
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"For me? To give to Cece."
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"- We're just friends. - Can't be friends with these guys."
New Girl
"You don't think every one of them thought about sleeping with you?"
New Girl
"You just think everyone wants to sleep with everyone."
New Girl
""Jess.""
New Girl
"He's from Chicago. That's how people from Chicago say "Jess.""
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"Like Bears, and milk, and:"
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""Let's go visit the Sears Tower.""
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"Jess. I'm going to the drugstore. Need anything?"
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"Yes. Jess, you should go with him..."
New Girl
"because then you can get that thing that you really need."
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"Oh, I wonder what that is."
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"She'll be right out."
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"Just..."
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"No. No."
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"You are not coming in here and ruining all this."
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"Who did you tell me was your perfect man?"
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"Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men. I could be girl Jack Lemmon."
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"He's a total Matthau! I'm telling you, he gets you."
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"See his feet? A guy's feet point at what they want."
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"- His feet were pointing at you. - Why wouldn't his feet point at me?"
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"- Otherwise, he's standing like a duck. - Go. Get out there."
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"- Ugh. - Hey, you ready? Come on!"
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"Be there in a sec, bro!"
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"You just call me "bro"?"
New Girl
"Well, how long is she staying?"
New Girl
"Oh, not long. I know she can be tough to deal with."
New Girl
"And then she just hangs up. No other information."
New Girl
"That's weird."
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"I love you so much."
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"I kind of like it when she calls me "bitch." It makes me feel like Janis Joplin."
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"Fine, but does she have to stay with us?"
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"What? I'm sorry. What did you say?"
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"I'm saying stop trying to take care of everyone."
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"- Oh, my God. - What?"
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"What?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"I know she's your friend. I didn't mean to insult you."
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"You don't have to take care of her is what I meant."
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"Okay."
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"Yes."
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"- What are you doing? - What?"
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"I'm just checking. I wanna make sure."
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"If I insulted you, I'm sorry. What are you doing?"
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"- Everything is in its place. - What does that mean?"
New Girl
"I'm just walking like a friend."
New Girl
"Let's get out of here. Last on the list, toilet paper."
New Girl
"Um..."
New Girl
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