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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S04E04)

"Schenectady?"
Archer (2009)
"You're in Schenectady?"
Archer (2009)
"Don't talk, just listen. My cover's blown and I need an extraction."
Archer (2009)
"Like, the GPS coordinates or--?"
Archer (2009)
"Mother, I don't have a passport-- Don't get me wrong, I respect that."
Archer (2009)
"...is like comparing apples to six Cadillac--"
Archer (2009)
"Sterling is stranded at the Montreal Casino with his pockets turned out and--"
Archer (2009)
"I'll be home tonight. Oh, I know. Because what's tonight?"
Archer (2009)
"Babe, come on, I promise, H! be there."
Archer (2009)
"Well, if you're not, you can just not bother coming home at all."
Archer (2009)
"- Pam? - What?"
Archer (2009)
"But his passport? How the hell did he lose his passport?"
Archer (2009)
"Because shut up. Because I don't need it."
Archer (2009)
"It's my third biggest fear."
Archer (2009)
"Which is why Ron Cadillac is opting out."
Archer (2009)
"And also why Ron Cadillac is gonna swing by Montreal on his way home."
Archer (2009)
"What?"
Archer (2009)
"Wow."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, no, I would, but I can't really leave the lab at the moment."
Archer (2009)
"Ha, ha. No, I seriously thought you were joking."
Archer (2009)
"You know there is a line?"
Archer (2009)
"And I basically own him."
Archer (2009)
"What, did my mother send you?"
Archer (2009)
"They were people, but then they got splashed with toxic waste."
Archer (2009)
"And I won't be able to if I'm thinking about giant alligators..."
Archer (2009)
"Ha, ha, ha. For the love of Christ, man, stop!"
Archer (2009)
"You said you didn't have a passport."
Archer (2009)
"So? He asked, equally incredulously."
Archer (2009)
"So...? And that's not sarcastic incredulity."
Archer (2009)
"I honestly wanna hear your thoughts on getting me across."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, I-- Yeah, so maybe keep it handy."
Archer (2009)
"Ron, let me out of the goddamn trunk!"
Archer (2009)
"Ugh! Whichever of carbon's many oxides. Just let me out."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, all right, so listen. Remember when I said maybe keep your gun handy?"
Archer (2009)
"What's the thing, Ron?"
Archer (2009)
"Ron, compensate!"
Archer (2009)
"...and the rhinoceros blindly stampedes into a phone booth..."
Archer (2009)
"What, I should use a plastic bag? Or this new thing called the bank."
Archer (2009)
"- "No, shit." - No, I'm serious."
Archer (2009)
"- ...were totally free. Score. Right? - Wow."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I get it, because of the chlamydia."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, and I'm an idiot."
Archer (2009)
"Well, it's kind of a long story."
Archer (2009)
"And you're sure you can get us there by 7?"
Archer (2009)
"Insurance bullshit. Compliments of them democratic queers in Congress."
Archer (2009)
"No, no, no, hey, come on, don't do that."
Archer (2009)
"Or the 11 more I'm gonna drink. Come on, he's an independent trucker."
Archer (2009)
"A small business owner, out here busting his hump to provide for his family."
Archer (2009)
"Now, I'm telling you, guys like him are the lifeblood of America."
Archer (2009)
"Ugh. Okay, here's your fur coat from the world's farthest-away cold storage."
Archer (2009)
"Did they tell you to put it in a headlock?"
Archer (2009)
"You lost me."
Archer (2009)
"Me, Tony, Donny, hey, hey, Joey and Fat Mike."
Archer (2009)
"That was '45, though. That didn't hurt the war effort."
Archer (2009)
"The least I can do. It's like back pay for all the years they lost."
Archer (2009)
"Never get the undercoating."
Archer (2009)
"Ron, who hasn't been complaining about not getting his money?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, man, wait till the crew hears this."
Archer (2009)
"No, no, no! You can never tell her about that."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, guys."
Archer (2009)
"Wow, okay, so..."
Archer (2009)
"...mother's husband has to be back in time for the opera."
Archer (2009)
"Wow. Shorty over there's got a club with lumps on it..."
Archer (2009)
"Does anybody have a gun?"
Archer (2009)
"Screw that. Shoot these degenerate pricks."
Archer (2009)
"So it holds a finite number of bullets."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God! It's just like Carol said the old gypsy woman said!"
Archer (2009)
"...where John Waters directed The Road Warrior."
Archer (2009)
"Make it rain? What am I, an Indian?"
Archer (2009)
"You don't defy the gypsy."
Archer (2009)
"What does--? Half the time I don't even know what you're talking about."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, I'm the asshole?"
Archer (2009)
"It's-- Just get a running start."
Archer (2009)
"How about now? Son of a--"
Archer (2009)
"Okay, now give me your hand. I can't!"
Archer (2009)
"Ah! Come on, grab it!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, now, hang on a second."
Archer (2009)
"Thinking about how much I hate it that Mother married you."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God. Thank you, Sterling."
Archer (2009)
"But come on, you gotta admit, the relationship you two have is--"
Archer (2009)
"Oh. Well, we gotta jump off the train. We gotta ju--"
Archer (2009)
"We just jumped on the train!"
Archer (2009)
"Seven-thirty. We just might make it. Now, you sure he's gonna be out there?"
Archer (2009)
"Doesn't even come close to making up for leaving me stranded in Montreal."
Archer (2009)
"And just what in the hell is this?"
Archer (2009)
"Buddy? Why, how and since when?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, and I gotta go make an old man eat a big bowl of spiderwebs."
Archer (2009)
"After all your naggy lectures about how I need to stop micromanaging ISIS?"
Archer (2009)
"You do. And this is macro-managing."
Archer (2009)
"Come on, some things I gotta do myself."
Archer (2009)
"Mr. Archer's on Line 2. I'm on the phone."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, duh, Line 2. Wha--?"
Archer (2009)
"Mother? Sterling--"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my-- Wait, extraction? From where?"
Archer (2009)
"Montreal. Long story, but my money and passport were confiscated, so--"
Archer (2009)
"Or a herd of Quebecker whores? I wouldn't say "herd.""
Archer (2009)
"...compliments of the Socialist Republic of Canada--"
Archer (2009)
"Really? You can extract yourself, mister."
Archer (2009)
"But comparing ISIS to six Cadillac dealerships..."
Archer (2009)
"And this is just speculation, --some new drug-resistant form of VD."
Archer (2009)
"Really? And you're in Schenectady again!"
Archer (2009)
"Uh... Tuesday night?"
Archer (2009)
"1.- Trouble on the old home front?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for the-- Eavesdrop much?"
Archer (2009)
"Ooh. Or helmets."
Archer (2009)
"And his money, I get it, that's all craps and whores."
Archer (2009)
"He brings home a whore and says, "We're married.""
Archer (2009)
"Ugh. Thank God I don't have to worry about anything like that with Ron."
Archer (2009)
""Hi, I'm Ron Cadillac, a.k.a. Mr. Boring.""
Archer (2009)
"Jesus God, what am I doing with--?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, obviously they do make the rules. That's why it's come to this."
Archer (2009)
"Because Ron Cadillac is freaking epic!"
Archer (2009)
"- I will accept the charges. What? - Carol, hey, shut up."
Archer (2009)
"I need you to go down to Western Union and wire me a thousand dollars."
Archer (2009)
"Yes! No!"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for-- Then just let me talk to Pam."
Archer (2009)
"Ha, ha, ha. Absolutely not."
Archer (2009)
"But I can transfer you."
Archer (2009)
"Okay. Okay, let me talk to Lana."
Archer (2009)
"There's gonna be a line at your wake, so shut your poutine hole--"
Archer (2009)
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