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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S04E04)

"No. Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"Lana, listen, I-- No."
Archer (2009)
"Need you to-- No."
Archer (2009)
"Stop saying no. No, Archer. No."
Archer (2009)
"And it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up, but--"
Archer (2009)
"What do you mean, no? I basically own you."
Archer (2009)
"Jesus, this is actually almost depressing."
Archer (2009)
"Giving you a ride home. Come on, hop in."
Archer (2009)
"No, not exactly. I just thought it'd give us a chance to bond."
Archer (2009)
"But C.H.U.D.'s live in New York, so let's go."
Archer (2009)
"Ron, seriously, at some point I'm gonna have to take a shit, so--"
Archer (2009)
"So why didn't you go before we left? Not now, in the future."
Archer (2009)
"Ha, ha. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know."
Archer (2009)
"So? He asked, incredulously."
Archer (2009)
"Why not? Because what if they check the trunk?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, why would they? Because that's exactly their job."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, on the Mexican border. Who the hell's gonna sneak in from Canada?"
Archer (2009)
"Arctic wolves? And even if you had a passport..."
Archer (2009)
"...what if they checked you for a gun? You do have a gun, don't you?"
Archer (2009)
"Ron! What?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh."
Archer (2009)
"Actually, more like three hours."
Archer (2009)
"Well, apparently I took a nap."
Archer (2009)
"Probably all this carbon dioxide."
Archer (2009)
"It's actually monoxide."
Archer (2009)
"I got a bitch of a headache and a bladder full of bourbon."
Archer (2009)
"Just hang on!"
Archer (2009)
"They always hit me between Schenectady and Albany."
Archer (2009)
"What the shit? Ron!"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, vaguely. Well, the thing is--"
Archer (2009)
"No, no, no, look out, you're--!"
Archer (2009)
"Overcompensating."
Archer (2009)
"You know, a butterfly in Africa lands on a giraffe's nose..."
Archer (2009)
"...the gazelle bonks into a rhinoceros..."
Archer (2009)
"...calls New York somehow and says, "Hey, go kill this idiot Ron for a suitcase!""
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, well, it's not exactly "clean money.""
Archer (2009)
"Name one, just one single favor, that Archer ever did for any of you."
Archer (2009)
"Um... Oh. Oh, my God, chlamydia."
Archer (2009)
"Which put me over my deductible, so the rest of the year all my doctor visits..."
Archer (2009)
"How much did you go to the damn doctor? I don't know, like, a lot."
Archer (2009)
"Because, of course, you keep getting robbed."
Archer (2009)
"Why are you driving around with dirty money?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, we've got all day. Nobody's gonna pick us up."
Archer (2009)
"Maybe between biannual suitcase robberies."
Archer (2009)
"That's biennial."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, uh-- Then, yeah, biannually."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, sorry, y'all, can't ride in the cab."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, things are looking up."
Archer (2009)
"No. Well?"
Archer (2009)
"I don't know. They were, like, Persian. Uh--"
Archer (2009)
"I changed it from Kazinsky."
Archer (2009)
"And before I sold cars, I stole them."
Archer (2009)
"Heh, heh. You what? Ha, ha. I mean, this was years and years ago."
Archer (2009)
"So, uh, we revised our business model."
Archer (2009)
"For a few years, let me tell you, kid, we were going gangbusters."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, Fat Mike too? RON". All of them."
Archer (2009)
"...then my first dealership, and eventually--"
Archer (2009)
"So the money is..."
Archer (2009)
"Yes, you do. What are you talking about?"
Archer (2009)
"Son of a-- Fat Mike!"
Archer (2009)
"He'll be eating his meatball subs through a straw."
Archer (2009)
"Wow, and here Mother thinks you are hands-down the most boringest man..."
Archer (2009)
"She said that'? I mean..."
Archer (2009)
"...on this entire planet of Earth."
Archer (2009)
"Not in those exact words, but-- She thinks I'm boring?"
Archer (2009)
"I'm serious, about any of it."
Archer (2009)
"None of it!"
Archer (2009)
"Do you hear me? Okay."
Archer (2009)
"You gotta promise you're not gonna tell her."
Archer (2009)
"Not that I'll ever get the chance."
Archer (2009)
"If that's, you know, how you self-identify."
Archer (2009)
"...apparently we have stumbled into..."
Archer (2009)
"But my, uh... Stepdad."
Archer (2009)
"I know, rich people problems."
Archer (2009)
"So even though all you guys have bats and pipes and--"
Archer (2009)
"Probably looks a little something like this? No?"
Archer (2009)
"...we can't call the police, so we're just gonna go, but--"
Archer (2009)
"Ron? Starting with C.W. McCall-Girl over there."
Archer (2009)
"What, are you out of bullets?"
Archer (2009)
"You saw me shoot the mob guys. So?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, she said it would be like some freaky parallel universe..."
Archer (2009)
"Uh-huh. Then what, they kill me? No. Shut up, that's the awesome part."
Archer (2009)
"We can't make it."
Archer (2009)
"Damn it, if only there was a way to slow them down."
Archer (2009)
"Pacman Jones! Oh."
Archer (2009)
"What about my crew?"
Archer (2009)
"Ron, look."
Archer (2009)
"Half. Okay, that's still a baller move."
Archer (2009)
"Well, guess what, me neither."
Archer (2009)
"Diss tracks. Jesus Christ, why did we even fight a war'?"
Archer (2009)
"Ron! What? I'm serious!"
Archer (2009)
"So is this train, asshole!"
Archer (2009)
"I'm not jumping on that damn thing! Really?"
Archer (2009)
"Come on, run like you're younger. Unh!"
Archer (2009)
"Yes, you can!"
Archer (2009)
"Ha, ha. What? Paging Dr. Bates. Dr. Norman Bates."
Archer (2009)
"Sterling, please!"
Archer (2009)
"You're welcome. Shut up."
Archer (2009)
"Norman Bates. You know--"
Archer (2009)
"Ugh. Okay, try not to ruin it this time."
Archer (2009)
"Jesus. Yeah."
Archer (2009)
"Which I don't have time to teach you-- Why would you want to?"
Archer (2009)
"Why would you wanna teach it to me at all?"
Archer (2009)
"So it'll take six hours to get home. If we don't get rousted by the bulls."
Archer (2009)
"I got a dealership in Catskill."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we could just make it."
Archer (2009)
"Try and focus on a distant landmark, like... Ah!"
Archer (2009)
"...ha, ha, ha, the ground. Whoo!"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, there he is."
Archer (2009)
"I took the liberty of taking in the jacket a bit, and--"
Archer (2009)
"Your punishment will begin when I get back from dropping him off at the opera."
Archer (2009)
"Wait, you think that's a good idea?"
Archer (2009)
"No, I meant dropping me off. If your mother thinks we're all buddy-buddy--"
Archer (2009)
"Sometimes I think I should just run away."
Archer (2009)
"Just dropping off my buddy, Ron."
Archer (2009)
"Woodhouse, I'm gonna check that bowl."
Archer (2009)
"Oh..."
Archer (2009)
"Good day."
Archer (2009)
"So where in Montreal exactly? Um..."
Archer (2009)
"Box seats for the opening of Carmen at the Met."
Archer (2009)
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