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Clips from Dr. Ken - Korean Men's Club (S01E01)

"and now we're going to the mall,"
Dr. Ken
"Here's what you need to know."
Dr. Ken
"Now that I've got him nerd-hooked,"
Dr. Ken
"I'm gonna change Simon into exactly the type of boy I want."
Dr. Ken
"You were just using me to trap this poor sap"
Dr. Ken
"into thinking you're something you're not?"
Dr. Ken
"I'm sorry. I thought that was clear."
Dr. Ken
"You pretend you're someone you're not"
Dr. Ken
"until they fall for you, and then it's too late."
Dr. Ken
"Wow."
Dr. Ken
"I guess I'm the one who got the education."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, whatever."
Dr. Ken
"See you later, Padawan."
Dr. Ken
"I'm the Jedi!"
Dr. Ken
"So, how was your painting thing?"
Dr. Ken
"It freaking blew, Allison."
Dr. Ken
"and the police made us pay a fine."
Dr. Ken
"The police showed up?"
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, but you know who didn't show up?"
Dr. Ken
"That reporter you called."
Dr. Ken
"Because there is no reporter, dum-dum."
Dr. Ken
"I made it up."
Dr. Ken
"What? Why would you do that?"
Dr. Ken
"Because you lied to me."
Dr. Ken
"I know all about your fake group."
Dr. Ken
"Full disclosure... I'm not super clear on it,"
Dr. Ken
"but how'd you find out?"
Dr. Ken
"Because all the pictures on your phone"
Dr. Ken
"By the way, what's your obsession"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, I've watched him grow up."
Dr. Ken
"Look, I don't care if you go drinking with those idiots."
Dr. Ken
"I care that you lied to me about it."
Dr. Ken
"But all the guys lie to their wives. They made me promise."
Dr. Ken
"Again, all your pictures"
Dr. Ken
"- go to the Photo Stream. - Damn it!"
Dr. Ken
"Hey, you're the one who wanted me to get a hobby."
Dr. Ken
"to have more stuff in your life."
Dr. Ken
"You know, I got my job, my sweet khakis..."
Dr. Ken
"and I got you."
Dr. Ken
"And two kids."
Dr. Ken
"to have other outlets."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, I know."
Dr. Ken
"and we're all going paintballing Saturday."
Dr. Ken
"There you go."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, wait. This Saturday? No."
Dr. Ken
"We're going to Barb Rutledge's one-week-sober bowling party."
Dr. Ken
"I thought she was three weeks sober."
Dr. Ken
"I didn't tell you what happened at the barbecue."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah."
Dr. Ken
"Ah, I just wanted to apologize for telling Pat"
Dr. Ken
"It was stupid and thoughtless of me."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, you were... you were trying to be nice,"
Dr. Ken
"and you didn't think it all the way through."
Dr. Ken
"Hola, amiga."
Dr. Ken
"Oh, sorry. Dos amigas."
Dr. Ken
"I brought margaritas."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, and it's Cinco de Mayo somewhere, right?"
Dr. Ken
"No, it's not."
Dr. Ken
"And it's much closer to the dog groomers"
Dr. Ken
"where I get my nails and goatee trimmed."
Dr. Ken
"I have a half load of whites."
Dr. Ken
"They are ripe."
Dr. Ken
"Is it happening now? Can it be now?"
Dr. Ken
"Whoa, whoa, Alison, let her finish."
Dr. Ken
"Well, if you change your mind..."
Dr. Ken
"Ah, all right, I get it."
Dr. Ken
"I try to avoid Pat's office because it often contains Pat."
Dr. Ken
"would be really dark."
Dr. Ken
"Every other weekend, a guy named Milton takes me to the movies."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, the fellas there call me Paste."
Dr. Ken
"I kind of like him, but I don't know what to say to him."
Dr. Ken
"He's into, like, comic books."
Dr. Ken
"Come on. Borat?"
Dr. Ken
"Hwan was just talking about a very exciting plan"
Dr. Ken
"I hear ya. I got more steam than a Koreatown day spa."
Dr. Ken
"Yo, we can't risk this coming out, bro."
Dr. Ken
"Like what? What do they do?"
Dr. Ken
"She's calling it a sobercue."
Dr. Ken
"It's very attractive."
Dr. Ken
"Tomorrow's Thursday."
Dr. Ken
"Okay, that is all kinds of wrong."
Dr. Ken
"of when the guy made the invisibility potion"
Dr. Ken
"No promises."
Dr. Ken
"I was uploading some pictures for Molly"
Dr. Ken
"I got a surprise for you."
Dr. Ken
"They're gonna be so excited."
Dr. Ken
"What, you have to schedule your sex?"
Dr. Ken
"Okay, guys, let's not panic."
Dr. Ken
"and I would prefer it"
Dr. Ken
"Oh, God. I'm so relieved."
Dr. Ken
"This blows."
Dr. Ken
"or a $5,000 fine."
Dr. Ken
"Well, in my defense, I was supposed to do"
Dr. Ken
"a better job at keeping it from you."
Dr. Ken
"What, did you spit"
Dr. Ken
"No."
Dr. Ken
"Thank you so much again for having me over."
Dr. Ken
"No, I wouldn't say that."
Dr. Ken
"What are you doing here?"
Dr. Ken
"You're living here?"
Dr. Ken
"And you were right, Clark."
Dr. Ken
"- This is much nicer than your building. - Mm-hmm."
Dr. Ken
"Now, let's talk laundry."
Dr. Ken
"Okay."
Dr. Ken
"I mean, all signs point to yes."
Dr. Ken
"No."
Dr. Ken
"What are you doing?"
Dr. Ken
"We were doing an experiment, and I said it reminded me"
Dr. Ken
"Let me see that. Mm."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, but the city is full of places"
Dr. Ken
"I mean, with all due respect, this..."
Dr. Ken
"And two kids."
Dr. Ken
"Yeah, Clark tipped me off to the unit"
Dr. Ken
"is we do not tell our wives."
Dr. Ken
"I did have to ask you twice."
Dr. Ken
"That place closed down. Remember?"
Dr. Ken
"to learn all about what you guys do."
Dr. Ken
"I don't really need more stuff."
Dr. Ken
"You never seen a man press his shirts in a photo copier before?"
Dr. Ken
"Da-a-a-a-a-a-a-mn."
Dr. Ken
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