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Clips from Seinfeld - The Deal (S02E02)

"- Is this yours or the roommate's? - Roommate's."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's too bad, because I'm taking it."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"I got that root canal tomorrow morning. It'll be easy if I go home."
Seinfeld
"I don't understand. Is there a problem?"
Seinfeld
"I'm getting the impression there's a problem."
Seinfeld
"- Just go. - I'm having surgery tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"- Surgery! You're going to the dentist! - You said it could be very serious."
Seinfeld
"Okay. So fine, go."
Seinfeld
"What happened to the rules? Remember?"
Seinfeld
"- It's my house, it's my option! - It has nothing to do with that!"
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Jerry. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"Such a great improv class tonight."
Seinfeld
"I had this improv..."
Seinfeld
"...where I pretended..."
Seinfeld
"...I was working in one of those booths in an amusement park..."
Seinfeld
"...where you shoot water in the clown's mouth and blow up the balloon."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I'll excuse you."
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing? - I can't go if you're mad."
Seinfeld
"I'm not mad."
Seinfeld
"You seem a little mad."
Seinfeld
"No, Jerry, I'm fine. Really, it's okay."
Seinfeld
"So you're okay with everything?"
Seinfeld
"Definitely."
Seinfeld
"Are you?"
Seinfeld
"Definitely."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"- ... good night. - Good ni-"
Seinfeld
"The rules."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, I have to be very careful here."
Seinfeld
"I don't want to send the wrong message. Not after the other night."
Seinfeld
"- Maybe I'll get her some jewellery. - No."
Seinfeld
"Whatever I spend, you have to spend half."
Seinfeld
"You don't understand. I'm in a very delicate position."
Seinfeld
"...to interpret the meaning behind it."
Seinfeld
"What does she need? Maybe there's something that she needs."
Seinfeld
"I think I heard her say something about a bench."
Seinfeld
"A bench?"
Seinfeld
"I have no idea."
Seinfeld
"- Who puts a bench in the house? - Forget the bench!"
Seinfeld
"I got it. You want something nice? What about a music box?"
Seinfeld
"No, too relationship-y."
Seinfeld
"I mean, she opens it up, she hears that Lara's Theme,I'm dead."
Seinfeld
"Okay, what about a nice frame..."
Seinfeld
"...with a picture of another guy in it?"
Seinfeld
"...perhaps you'd be interested in someone like this."
Seinfeld
"Nice-looking fellow."
Seinfeld
"- What about candleholders? - Too romantic."
Seinfeld
"- Lingerie? - Too sexual."
Seinfeld
"- Waffle maker? - Too domestic."
Seinfeld
"Bust of Nelson Rockefeller?"
Seinfeld
"Too gubernatorial."
Seinfeld
"Let's work on the card."
Seinfeld
"I had to buy a gift for someone."
Seinfeld
"The hardest part is that card. The card is a killer."
Seinfeld
"I never know what it's supposed to say."
Seinfeld
"And it's getting so tough, because the relationships are so complicated..."
Seinfeld
"...greeting-card companies now put out cards that are blank..."
Seinfeld
"...on the inside. Nothing."
Seinfeld
"No message. It's like the card company says:"
Seinfeld
"We give up. You think of something."
Seinfeld
"- Of course I'll like it. - You could not like it."
Seinfeld
"Of course I remembered."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the card."
Seinfeld
"- Cash? - What do you think?"
Seinfeld
"You got me cash?"
Seinfeld
"This way, I figure you could go out and get yourself whatever you want."
Seinfeld
"No good?"
Seinfeld
"To a wonderful girl, a great pal..."
Seinfeld
"...and more."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, I'm glad you're here. Stay right here. I'm gonna be right back. Stay."
Seinfeld
"Pal? You think I'm your pal?"
Seinfeld
"I said, and more."
Seinfeld
"I am not your pal."
Seinfeld
"What's wrong with pal? Why is everybody so down on pal?"
Seinfeld
"- You got me something? - Yeah. Yeah, open it."
Seinfeld
"Kramer!"
Seinfeld
"The bench! You got me the bench that I wanted!"
Seinfeld
"- That's pretty good, huh? - Great."
Seinfeld
"You remember when she mentioned it? I made a mental note of it."
Seinfeld
"Well, goody for you."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. See, I'm very sensitive about that."
Seinfeld
"I mean, someone's birthday comes up, I keep my ears open."
Seinfeld
"So, what did you get her?"
Seinfeld
"182 bucks."
Seinfeld
"Cash?"
Seinfeld
"You've gotta be kidding. What kind of gift is that?"
Seinfeld
"That's like something her uncle would give her."
Seinfeld
"Think where man's glory most begins and ends..."
Seinfeld
"Yeats."
Seinfeld
"Could you excuse us, please?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"We're talking."
Seinfeld
"Oh, the relationship."
Seinfeld
"You know, we never had one fight before this deal."
Seinfeld
"- Ever. - We got along beautifully."
Seinfeld
"- Like clams. - It was wonderful."
Seinfeld
"So I think we should forget the whole deal and go back to being friends."
Seinfeld
"I can't do it."
Seinfeld
"You what?"
Seinfeld
"You mean, it's:"
Seinfeld
"No this?"
Seinfeld
"No that."
Seinfeld
"No this or that."
Seinfeld
"Oh, boy."
Seinfeld
"What do you want?"
Seinfeld
"This, that and the other."
Seinfeld
"Oh, sure. Of course. You're entitled."
Seinfeld
"Who doesn't want this, that and the other?"
Seinfeld
"You."
Seinfeld
"I told you, they're relationship killers."
Seinfeld
"If a relationship's having any problems whatsoever, a birthday brings it out."
Seinfeld
"I never should have made up those rules."
Seinfeld
"What is it about sex that just disrupts everything?"
Seinfeld
"I never got into these terrible fights and misunderstandings..."
Seinfeld
"...when I was changing before gym class."
Seinfeld
"This means I can't see her anymore either."
Seinfeld
"- Why? - It's breakup by association."
Seinfeld
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