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Clips from Seinfeld - The Deal (S02E02)

"- Yeah. - I mean, let's say..."
Seinfeld
"...what if..."
Seinfeld
"Is that, like, the end of the world or something?"
Seinfeld
"- Certainly not. - Why shouldn't we be able to do that..."
Seinfeld
"I mean, really, what is the big deal?"
Seinfeld
"We go in there..."
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"That's not complicated."
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"- It's moronic. - Absurd."
Seinfeld
"Course..."
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"...I guess maybe some little problems could arise."
Seinfeld
"There are always a few."
Seinfeld
"I mean, if anything happened..."
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"...and we couldn't be friends the way we are now, that would really be bad."
Seinfeld
"- Devastating. - Because this is very good."
Seinfeld
"And that would be good."
Seinfeld
"The idea is to combine the this..."
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"...and the that."
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"But this cannot be disturbed."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, we just want to take this..."
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"...and add that."
Seinfeld
"But of course, we'd have to figure out a way..."
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"...to avoid the things that cause the little problems."
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"Maybe some rules or something."
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"But if we did that, we might feel..."
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"...a certain obligation to call."
Seinfeld
"I have an idea."
Seinfeld
"No calls the day after that."
Seinfeld
"Beautiful."
Seinfeld
"Let's make it a rule."
Seinfeld
"All right, sir."
Seinfeld
"- Now, here's another little rule. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"When we see each other now..."
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"...we retire to our separate quarters."
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"But sometimes when people get involved with that..."
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"...to sleep over."
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"...is not really sleep."
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"...why sleep got all tied up and connected..."
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"...with that."
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"Okay, okay, rule number two: Spending the night is optional."
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"Good."
Seinfeld
"- What about the kiss good night? - Tough one."
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"Your call."
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"It's bourgeois."
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"Fine."
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"Well."
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"Well."
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"You ready?"
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"Ready."
Seinfeld
"So you think you can handle this?"
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- Got the paper? - Not yet."
Seinfeld
"- No paper. - I haven't been out yet."
Seinfeld
"Well, what's taking you so long?"
Seinfeld
"What's the deal with Aquaman?"
Seinfeld
"Could he go on the land, or was he just restricted to water?"
Seinfeld
"No, I think I saw him on land a couple times."
Seinfeld
"So how's the job situation going?"
Seinfeld
"Pretty bad out there. What about you?"
Seinfeld
"Oxygen. I need some oxygen."
Seinfeld
"- This is major. - I thought you'd like that."
Seinfeld
"Oh, this is huge!"
Seinfeld
"- I know. - All right, okay. Let's go. Details."
Seinfeld
"- You what? - I can't give details."
Seinfeld
"No details?"
Seinfeld
"I'm not in the mood."
Seinfeld
"You ask me here to have lunch..."
Seinfeld
"...and then say you're not in the mood for details."
Seinfeld
"Now, you listen to me."
Seinfeld
"I don't have a job, I have no place to go."
Seinfeld
"You're not in the mood? Well, you get in the mood!"
Seinfeld
"All right. Okay."
Seinfeld
"We were in my apartment, watching TV."
Seinfeld
"- Where you sitting? - On the couch."
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"- Next to each other? - Separate."
Seinfeld
"Okay, go ahead."
Seinfeld
"So she's flipping around the TV..."
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"...and she gets to the naked station."
Seinfeld
"See, that's why I don't have cable, because of that naked station."
Seinfeld
"If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off."
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"I wouldn't sleep. I wouldn't eat."
Seinfeld
"Eventually, firemen would break through the door."
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"They'd find me in my pyjamas with drool coming down my face."
Seinfeld
"All right, so you're watching the naked station."
Seinfeld
"And then..."
Seinfeld
"Boy, these are really bad details."
Seinfeld
"It pains me to say this, but I may be getting too mature for details."
Seinfeld
"I hate to hear this."
Seinfeld
"- I'll tell you, it was really passionate. - Better than before?"
Seinfeld
"She must have taken some kind of seminar or something."
Seinfeld
"This is all too much. So, what are you feeling?"
Seinfeld
"What's going on? Are you, like, a couple again now?"
Seinfeld
"- Not exactly. - Not exactly.What does that mean?"
Seinfeld
"Well, we've tried to arrange a situation..."
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"...where we'll be able to do this once in a while..."
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"Where are you living?"
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"Are you here? Are you on this planet?"
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"So all of a sudden, the two of you are gonna come along and do it."
Seinfeld
"Where do you get the ego?"
Seinfeld
"I think we've worked out a system."
Seinfeld
"You know what you're like? You're like a pathetic gambler."
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"One of these losers in Las Vegas who keeps thinking..."
Seinfeld
"No, this is very advanced. We've designed a set of rules."
Seinfeld
"That we can maintain the friendship by avoiding all the relationship pitfalls."
Seinfeld
"All right, all right. Tell me the rules."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"No calls the next day."
Seinfeld
"So you have the sex, next day, you don't have to call."
Seinfeld
"That's pretty good."
Seinfeld
"- Go ahead. - You ready for the second one?"
Seinfeld
"I have to tell you, I'm very impressed with the first one."
Seinfeld
"Spending the night:"
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"Optional."
Seinfeld
"No. No. You see? You got greedy."
Seinfeld
"No, that's the rule. It's optional."
Seinfeld
"I know less about women..."
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"...than anyone in the world."
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"But the one thing I do know is, they're not happy if you don't spend the night."
Seinfeld
"It could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning..."
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"...and all they have is a little Army cot this wide."
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"You're not going anywhere."
Seinfeld
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