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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa the Iconoclast (S07E07)

"Way to go, Springfield!"
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"his hatchet, with which he hacked at the chains of oppression..."
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"He was one of the evilest men of the 1780s."
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"He even tried to kill George Washington."
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"- Give me all your money. - Never!"
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"Ooh! Aaah!"
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"Well, I'll use it, but I'm not paying for it."
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"The next time Hans Sprungfeld was seen..."
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"he had changed his name toJebediah Springfield."
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"- 25 on saffron- - Mm-hmm."
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"Can't you understand, little girl?"
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"Yes, but human decency prevents-"
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"Well, that's the spirit, Bonesy."
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"No! No!"
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"I know how much you wanted to be in the parade."
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"I'm supposed to be the responsible one."
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"No! NotJaney! She'll pack the Supreme Court with boys!"
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"Can you open my milk, Mommy?"
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"so you covered it up, didn't you?"
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"Before the dust could settle, I pocketed it."
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"I don't know quite how to say this-"
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"Don't be shy, little girl. Think ofJebediah, and the words will come."
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"It's that team ofJebediah Springfield"
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"Whip them horses Let them wagons roll"
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"The Simpsons"
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"D'oh!"
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"1796. A fiercely determined band of pioneers leaves Maryland..."
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"after misinterpreting a passage in the Bible."
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"Their destination: New Sodom."
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"This is their story."
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"This is gonna be great."
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"I hope they show the time where they traded guns to the Indians for corn..."
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"and then the Indians shot them and took the corn."
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"- Egad! A monster! - It's a horrible fiend!"
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"It's some sort of land cow."
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"Stand back, fellow settlers."
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"Oh."
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"Ye have saved our fledgling community."
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"Mr. Springfield, how can I hope to achieve such greatness?"
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"A noble spirit "embiggens" the smallest man."
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"- Yea! - Springfield rules!"
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""Embiggens"? Hmm. I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield."
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"I don't know why. It's a perfectly "cromulent" word."
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"Now, as you all know, Springfield's 200th birthday is only a week away."
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"Every class will do its part to make our local bicentennial..."
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"just as memorable as our national bicentennial."
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"Of course, you children are too young to remember that..."
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"with the possible exception of Kearney."
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"Those tall ships really lifted the nation's spirits after Watergate."
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"To celebrate our bicentennial, all 20 of you..."
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"will write an essay aboutJebediah Springfield..."
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"and the best 18 will be put on file in the school library..."
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"available to anyone who requests them."
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"- Can we do illustrations? - No."
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"Hey. They need volunteers to play old-timey people in the parade."
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"Look. I can be a butter churner, a typhoid carrier, an apprentice!"
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"- I think I'll be an apprentice, Marge. - What kind of apprentice?"
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"That's for my master to decide."
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"How about town crier? You'd be great at that."
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"- You think so? - Well, yeah, Dad. You're a big, fat loudmouth..."
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"- and you can walk when you have to. - Aw."
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"Well, if you kids believe in me that much, I'll give it my best shot."
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"Dangerous river crossings threatened life and limb..."
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"but helped our founding fathers save on bridge tolls."
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"Excuse me."
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"I didn't mean to startle you, but I do love to talkJebediah..."
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"even when I'm drinking my chicory."
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"I'm the curator, Hollis Hurlbut."
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"Hi. I'm Lisa Simpson. I'm here to research a report on Jebediah."
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"Oh, you're in for a treat."
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"You know, some historians consider Jebediah Springfield a minor patriot..."
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"but I think you'll find he's easily the equal..."
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"of William Dawes or even Samuel Otis."
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"- Congratulations, Ned. You are our new town crier. - D'oh!"
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"May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains."
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"Well, thankily-dank, Mayor. I shan't disappoint."
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""Har" ye. "Har" ye. I declare myself pickled tink..."
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"about Springfield's bicen-citally..."
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"ti-tin-toodily, rin-tin-tennial day!"
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"You su-diddly-uck, Flanders! Give me that."
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"Hear ye! Hear ye!"
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"Ye old town crier proclaimed crappy by all."
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"Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world."
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"Good God! He is fabulous."
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"Mmm. He's "embiggened" that role with his "cromulent" performance."
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"Top-notch "criering," I admit, but the hat and bell belong to Flanders. So no dice."
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"Oh, they're just family heirlooms."
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"That shouldn't stand in the way of Homer taking my job and-"
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"Less chat, more hat."
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"Whoo-hoo!"
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"Hear ye! Hear ye!"
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"The Homer broadcasting system is on the air!"
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"All hollering, all the time. I'm gonna make-"
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"You're to restrict your criering to the parade..."
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"- and selected preapproved publicity events. - Okay."
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"objects owned and used byJebediah."
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"Here's his fife, upon which he sounded the sweet note of freedom..."
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"and his chamber pot."
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"Wow."
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"Excuse me. My microwave johnnycakes are ready."
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""The Secret Confessions ofJebediah Springfield"?"
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""Know ye who read this, there is more to my life than history records. ""
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"Firstly, I did not tame the legendary buffalo."
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"It was already tame. I merely shot it."
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"Secondly, I have not always been known as Jebediah Springfield."
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"Till 1796 I was Hans Sprungfeld, murderous pirate."
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"And the half-wits of this town will never learn the truth."
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"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
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""Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!""
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"Oh, my God. Our town hero is a fraud."
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""I write this confession so that my infamy will live on..."
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"long after my body has succumbed to my infectious diphtheria. ""
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"Ew."
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"Here's johnnycakes."
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"Is everything okay? You look a bit flushed."
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"Oh, it's just the excitement of studying Jebediah."
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"Sounds like you've come down with a serious case of"Jebeditis. ""
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"Just when I was getting over my Chester A. Arthritis."
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"- Did-You had arthritis? - Um, no."
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"Hear ye. Hear ye. What's for breakfast?"
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