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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation (S03E03)

"- For three months? - Yes."
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"What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me?"
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"It means I wish you weren't going,"
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"I can't believe we spent three months in that frozen hell,"
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"It was like a snowy nightmare from which there was no awakening."
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"I don't know what Arctic expedition you were on..."
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"Oh, hi, Mom."
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"I'm all but certain there's a Nobel Prize in my future."
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"No, Mother, I could not feel your church group praying for my safety."
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"That logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc."
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"Yeah, love you. Bye."
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"Hello, old friend."
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"Yeah, I just stopped by to say..."
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"- ...I won't forget your contributions. - Great."
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"I can't mention you in my Nobel acceptance speech."
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"When I write my memoirs..."
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"Yeah. We'll keep that in mind. Look, we need to talk to you..."
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"...there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
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"- It's not about that. - We agreed to never speak of it again."
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"- He's speaking about it. - For me it was a bonding moment."
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"Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks..."
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"And when we finally got our first positive data..."
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"...as it was static from the electric can opener we were turning on and off."
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"He just went colon, capital O."
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"Did Leonard know about this?"
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"The whole plan reeks of Leonard."
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"- I couldn't think of anyone else. - Me neither."
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"Except for one night when the heat went out."
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"...is a sound."
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"Penny. Penny. Penny."
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"Yes, I feel terrible about it. I will never forgive myself."
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"...when in fact I was being fed false data..."
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"Yes,, but the actual results are unsuccessful."
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"I sent an e-mail to everyone at the university..."
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"...and forever changed man's understanding of the universe."
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"- Oh. That poor thing. - Yeah, I feel terrible."
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"No, no, you're right. You shouldn't talk to him. I will."
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"That's for when I'm sick. Sad is not sick."
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"Well, no."
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"...I was gonna be named head cheerleader. I was so excited."
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"I call it the Clooney."
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"...and tried to choke me to death with the Force, so I'd say a little better."
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"...but my genitals wanted me to ask."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Because I am without friends."
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"People have been pointing and laughing at you your whole life."
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"I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper."
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"...Einstein's cosmological constant was actually right all along."
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"...check your e-mail periodically for a doozy."
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"Since we got interrupted last night, I didn't have a chance to give you this."
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"Aw, Leonard. You shouldn't have."
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"...that I didn't understand."
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"Man, I cannot catch a break."
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"Okay. Thanks for letting me know."
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"Yeah... No, I know he resigned."
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"Howard, you and Raj go to Texas, I'll stay with Penny in her apartment."
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"...I gave you the snowflake, and we were kissing, and..."
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"Well, wait a second, Leonard. Come on. How can you not go?"
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"Yeah."
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"- Please know that we are truly... - Grateful."
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"- For every cup and every... - Plateful."
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"- They're not my friends. - All right."
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"If you recall, when you were little we sat right here at this very spot..."
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"I'm sorry. This does not look like Texas. Where's the tumbleweeds?"
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"I was really hoping to see a cattle drive."
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"To what? Toy Story?"
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"Thank you kindly."
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"Because, you know, at our church..."
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"...but I bet she'd be willing to take a shot..."
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"...at whatever Third-World demon is running around inside of you."
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"No. This is my home now."
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"Don't tell me prayer doesn't work."
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"Uh-huh."
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"There's no alcohol in this household, stop talking like that and lose the hat."
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"You'll take a cola."
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"What about you? Raj, is it?"
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"Oh, you still having trouble talking to the ladies? Ha-ha-ha."
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"...we have a woman who's an amazing healer."
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"Mostly she does crutch and wheelchair people..."
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"If you don't mind, there's a 3:05 nonstop back to Los Angeles..."
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"...and you have no idea how much I wanna be on it."
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"- A girl? - Uh, yes, ma'am."
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"Oh, good. I've been praying for you."
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"What are they doing here?"
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"- We came to apologize. - Again."
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"And bring you home. Pack up your stuff and we'll head back."
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"Thanks to you, my career is over. I will spend the rest of my life here..."
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"...trying to teach evolution to creationists."
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"You watch your mouth, Shelly."
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"Everyone's entitled to their opinion."
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"Evolution isn't an opinion, it's fact."
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"And that is your opinion."
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"I forgive you, let's go home."
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"You know how they say when friends have sex it can get weird?"
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"Sure."
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"- Why does it have to get weird? - Pbbt. I don't know."
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"I mean, we were friends and now we're more than friends."
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"And we're whatever this is. But why label it, right? I mean..."
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"It is what it is and..."
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"- Leonard? - Yeah?"
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"Previously on The Big Bang Theory:"
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"I'm going to the Arctic Circle with Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali."
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"...I thought it was a hoot and a half."
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"No. I told you I'd call you when I got home. I'm not home yet."
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"All right. I'm home."
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"Actually, I shouldn't say that. I'm entirely certain."
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"The fact that I'm home safe doesn't prove it worked."
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"Daddy's home."
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"Yeah, it was first come, first serve."
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"...you can expect a very effusive footnote and perhaps a signed copy."
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"- We have to tell him. - Tell me what?"
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"Damn his Vulcan hearing."
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"If there's going to be a theme, I should let you know..."
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"...I don't care for luau, toga or under the sea."
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"...about something that happened at the North Pole."
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"If this is about the night the heat went out..."
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"It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting."
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"...we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything..."
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"...and you were acting like an obnoxious giant dictator?"
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"I thought we were gonna be gentle with him."
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