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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer Badman (S06E06)

"Lis, I found a big caramel deposit on her back."
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"I'm coming."
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"Wait a minute. Wait. Where's my gummi de Milo?"
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"Okay, don't panic. She can't have gotten far. She has no arms."
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"I'm sure it'll turn up."
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"Take the babysitter home now. She's been in the car for 20 minutes."
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"Relax, Marge. There's plenty for her to do in there."
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"See? She's having the time of her life."
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"So a graduate student, huh?"
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"How come you can go to the moon, but can't make my shoes smell good?"
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"Could you take the wheel for a second?"
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"Thank you."
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"Hey, kids. Lots of candy left for breakfast."
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"Why don't we give it to some needy children then?"
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"The candy conventioneers tracked us down."
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"For a minute there I thought I was in big trouble. It's just a..."
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"Marge, I swear I didn't touch her. You know how bashful I am."
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"I can't even say the word "titmouse" without giggling like a schoolgirl."
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"Some of their chants are very catchy and memorable."
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"- You grabbed me in the car. - Oh, that? No."
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"Come on. I'm a decent guy."
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"That's where cooties come from."
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"I don't understand. What is she saying you did?"
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"...of that alligator biting that woman's bottom?"
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"Oh, yeah. That was brilliant."
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"But it turns out we were wrong."
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"Well, that's kind of a gray area."
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"They seem to be building some sort of a shantytown."
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"- No respect for women. No peace. - Try to push the right buttons now."
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"You people aren't allowed in here."
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"Marge, please, this is where I need you the most."
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"I'm counting on you to do something or say something to make it all better."
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"I talked to the indignation coordinator out on the lawn today."
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"I said you were a decent man. She wouldn't listen."
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"Besides standing by you and supporting you, there's nothing I can do."
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"On own. On own. I need help. Oh, God, help me."
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"Help me, God!"
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"- Hello? - Hello, Homer, this is God..."
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"...frey Jones from the TV magazine show Rock Bottom."
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"I saw that report you did on Sasquatch. It was fair and even-handed."
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"Somebody had to take the babysitter home."
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"Then I noticed she was sitting on the gummi Venus, so I grabbed it off her."
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"I just wish I had another one right now."
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"- We got everything we need. - Okay."
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"Here comes the bouncing ball of justice."
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"Tonight on Rock Bottom:"
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"- And where are the hookers? - Around back."
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"But first, she was a university honors student who devoted her life to kids."
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"Until the night a grossly overweight pervert named Homer Simpson..."
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"...gave her a crash course in depravity."
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""Babysitter and the Beast.""
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"Somebody had to take the babysitter home."
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"Then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can..."
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"Oh, just thinking about her can..."
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"I just wish I had her sweet, sweet, sweet can."
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"What do you have to say in your defense?"
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"Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further."
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"Marge, kids, everything's gonna be just fine."
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"Now go upstairs and pack your bags."
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"Under the sea"
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"Under the sea"
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"There'll be no accusations"
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"Just friendly crustaceans Under the sea"
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"That's your solution to everything, to move under the sea. It won't happen."
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"Not with that attitude."
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"Look, maybe this whole thing will blow over."
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"Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent he believes gives him sexual powers."
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"I never met Homer Simpson or had any contact with him, but..."
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"Mothers and runaway daughters reunited by their hatred of Homer Simpson."
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"Let's have less Homer Simpsons and more money for public schools."
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"Ben, I have a question."
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"Portrait. Sounds classy."
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"Doesn't it?"
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"Now I'm gonna grab me something sweet."
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"No, Mr. Simpson. That's sexual harassment."
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"If you keep it up, I'll yell so loud, the whole country will hear."
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"With a man in the White House?"
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"Not likely."
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"...including when the garbage man came..."
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"There's no way to see into the Simpson home..."
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"...without some kind of infrared, heat-sensitive camera."
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"...but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven..."
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"...rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees."
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"He's literally stewing in his own juices."
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"Now here are some results from our phone-in poll."
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"Ninety-five percent of the people believe Homer Simpson is guilty."
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"Of course, this is just a television poll..."
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"...which is not legally binding, unless Proposition 304 passes."
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"And we all pray it will."
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"- Let us through. - We're Homer's true friends."
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"Oh, really?"
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"- Come on, let us through, you vultures. - Oh, Marge. It's a miracle."
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"- I bid 10 G's. - Ten-five G's."
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"I need a hug."
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"How come you guys hesitated?"
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"It's just hard not to listen to TV."
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"It's spent so much more time raising us than you."
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"TV's always right."
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"And the number one reference that I am running into the ground is:"
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"Homer Simpson."
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"Is Homer Simpson."
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"I like it better when they're making fun of people who aren't me."
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"Like, what would happen if E. T. And Mr. T had a baby?"
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"Well, you'd get Mr. E. T., wouldn't you?"
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""I pity the fool who doesn't phone home.""
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"Homer. Homer, the kids have a great idea how you can clear your name."
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"The media's making you a monster because they don't care about truth."
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"Public access television."
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"- But those shows all look so crummy. - Well, we could dress it up a bit."
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"...and the most decorative thing of all, the truth."
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"I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missouri."
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"Now it's time for The Innocence Report..."
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"...with Homer Simpson."
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"Hello. I am Homer Simpson."
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"You know, everybody believed the worst about me right away."
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"Okay, look, I've done some bad things in my life."
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"But harassing women is not one of them."
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"Like one time, we were having this race with this stupid, old-timey bicycle..."
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"So I figure, "We'll see about that.""
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"So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and I..."
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