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Clips from Master of None - Religion (S02E02)

"Ooh, that's good."
Master of None
"Come on. You in?"
Master of None
"- Oh, my God! - Yes!"
Master of None
"How are you still eating? You're not full?"
Master of None
"I just got to have a bite."
Master of None
"Oh, shit, Denise in the cut."
Master of None
"- What up, boo? - What are you doing here?"
Master of None
"Man, you know I fuck with ribs."
Master of None
"Have y'all tried that spot from Kansas City yet?"
Master of None
"Man, them honey wings is bonk."
Master of None
"Denise, this is my cousin Navid. Navid, this is Denise."
Master of None
"- What up, man? - Not much..."
Master of None
"Oh, shit, it's your dad. Hide."
Master of None
"Stay down."
Master of None
"Oh."
Master of None
"Sorry. Just some similar-looking Indian dude eating corn on the cob."
Master of None
"Man, I almost had a heart attack."
Master of None
"Why the fuck were we just hiding behind that damn tree?"
Master of None
"His dad doesn't know that we eat pork."
Master of None
"It's against our religion."
Master of None
"Wait, aren't y'all two grown-ass men?"
Master of None
"Yeah! But we're scared of our parents."
Master of None
"Now, I got some religious relatives that's not into the whole lesbian thing,"
Master of None
"Yeah. Are you religious at all?"
Master of None
"We've been friends since we was kids. You know I go to church sometimes."
Master of None
"Navid raja, are you feeling okay?"
Master of None
"Yeah, I feel a lot better after resting now."
Master of None
"Um, how was the prayer? Sorry I missed it."
Master of None
"Your father's cell phone went off in the middle of the second rakat."
Master of None
"I set a reminder to go to the prayer."
Master of None
"I set the wrong time."
Master of None
"All right, guys, uh, we ready to order?"
Master of None
"Uh, yes."
Master of None
"We'll have the mango salad,"
Master of None
"uh, crab fried rice,"
Master of None
"Navid, do you want something else?"
Master of None
"No, I'm not that hungry."
Master of None
"The crispy pork with Chinese broccoli is probably our most popular dish."
Master of None
"We don't eat pork."
Master of None
"You know what? I do."
Master of None
"And I'll have that. That sounds good."
Master of None
"He's just joking."
Master of None
"Uh, I'm actually not joking."
Master of None
"I'm not that religious, and, uh..."
Master of None
"I eat pork."
Master of None
"But it's okay"
Master of None
"'cause I'm a good person."
Master of None
"And I'm 33 years old,"
Master of None
"and I can make those decisions, I can eat what I want,"
Master of None
"and I-I want to eat the crispy pork with the broccoli."
Master of None
"Ow! Pinches!"
Master of None
"If you are going to order that, we are leaving."
Master of None
"You're gonna leave?"
Master of None
"Yes, we are."
Master of None
"What is arugula?"
Master of None
"Goodie-goodie! Can we all go to seafood place?"
Master of None
"I can't believe you did this."
Master of None
"Uncle and Auntie were very offended."
Master of None
"Well, I'm sorry they're offended."
Master of None
"But you know what? I'm not religious."
Master of None
"And I don't think it's right to pretend to be."
Master of None
"What do you mean you are not religious?"
Master of None
"It's just not for me."
Master of None
"What's not for you?"
Master of None
"Um, well, there's definitely issues."
Master of None
"Why am I under attack?"
Master of None
"Po-da."
Master of None
"You know we don't believe that."
Master of None
"Some people have bad interpretations."
Master of None
"Yeah, and, you know, you guys have your interpretations, right?"
Master of None
"You eat non-halal."
Master of None
"You used to smoke cigarettes."
Master of None
"Why can't I have my interpretation where I'm just nice and I eat pork?"
Master of None
"It's not funny."
Master of None
"Look, I get it."
Master of None
"It's not like that for me."
Master of None
"It's people calling me terrorist"
Master of None
"and getting pulled out of airport security lines."
Master of None
"That's because you lost your passport three times."
Master of None
"I lost it twice."
Master of None
"- No, three times. - Oh, yeah."
Master of None
"I don't want to talk about this anymore."
Master of None
"I'm going to bed."
Master of None
"We could have gone to the seafood place!"
Master of None
"None of this would have had happened."
Master of None
"Really?"
Master of None
"That's your takeaway after all this?"
Master of None
"That we should've gone to the seafood place?"
Master of None
"Yep!"
Master of None
"Good night."
Master of None
"- Hey. - Hey!"
Master of None
"- Whassup? - How's it going?"
Master of None
"It's going great."
Master of None
"I did a few colonoscopies,"
Master of None
"ERCPs."
Master of None
"The new one is very good."
Master of None
"Mm. Good to know."
Master of None
"So what's up? What's going on?"
Master of None
"Uh, I don't know."
Master of None
"This iPad is not working."
Master of None
"to see the Genius."
Master of None
"He couldn't even figure it out."
Master of None
"No, the line is too big."
Master of None
"All right, let's see."
Master of None
"So what's wrong with it?"
Master of None
"It is very dark."
Master of None
"Your brightness isn't up."
Master of None
"Wonderful! You fixed it."
Master of None
"- I'll see you later. - Wait, wait."
Master of None
"Sit down."
Master of None
"What's going on?"
Master of None
"I tried to call Ma today. She's still not answering."
Master of None
"She's really mad at you."
Master of None
"She's so mad at you, she even got mad at me."
Master of None
"She said, "Go and do it yourself!""
Master of None
"I got scared."
Master of None
"It's been two weeks."
Master of None
"Isn't this a bit much for just eating pork?"
Master of None
"It's not about eating pork."
Master of None
"It's not about the religion."
Master of None
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