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Clips from Three's Company - Chrissy's Night Out (S02E02)

"I got a feeling one parent is enough right now."
Three's Company
"Oh, Chrissy, I'm sorry."
Three's Company
"You've got every right in the world to be mad at us, but please don't cry."
Three's Company
"I'm not crying about that."
Three's Company
"Oh, good. Well, I mean, whatever it is, how bad can it be?"
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"[ Sobs ]"
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"That bad, huh?"
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"Oh, if this ever gets out..."
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"If my mother ever finds out..."
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"Oh! If my father ever finds out..."
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"You think I'll ever find out?"
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"Come on. Well,"
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"I went with the girls from the office to this bar, the Funky Fox."
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"And... there was a band,"
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"and there were a lot of guys, not many girls."
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"And the tables..."
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"All the tables had these tablecloths with tartan designs all over them."
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"It reminded me so much of home..."
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"They do that for white people too, you know."
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"And they said that our ancestors were Scottish."
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"So we had to have everything in tartan."
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"Tartan tablecloths, tartan towels, tartan skirts."
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"Well, I met this guy."
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"He was really cute."
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"Good dancer. Very sincere."
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"- We talked for hours. - Wow. It sounds like you had a wonderful date."
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"He was a creep."
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"and a dog with black and brown spots."
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"- He had a dog in the club? - No, in his hometown of Pine Bluff, Arkansas."
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"Pine Bluff is the fourth-largest city in Arkansas."
Three's Company
"Chrissy. He still has a cousin there named Paul."
Three's Company
"Chrissy. Chrissy, why are you crying?"
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"Well, I gave him my name and number,"
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"and... and he asked me..."
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"He asked me... He asked you out?"
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"No. He asked me how much I..."
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"No. Janet, he thought I was a hoo..."
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"A hoo..."
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"A hoo... hoo... hoo..."
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"A hooker? [ Sobbing ]"
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"Oh, honey. What's going on in there?"
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"Nothing. Oh, don't tell Jack. I'd just die."
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"- Oh, no, babe. No. - Is everything all right?"
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"Oh, good. 'Cause I thought I heard some crying."
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"No. I was just laughing."
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"[ Wheezing ]"
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"Everything's all right now, Jack."
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"Chrissy, where'd you go tonight?"
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"She went to the Funky Fox. The Funky Fox?"
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"You shouldn't go there. People will think you're a hooker."
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"[ Screams ]"
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"You told him. Somebody took you for a hooker?"
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"Cheap? That's one thing those girls are not."
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"No, I heard about it from some guys."
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"Just because I was friendly, how could a guy think that I was..."
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"a hoo... a hoo... Oh, Chrissy. Chrissy."
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"Chrissy, look on the bright side."
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"What bright side? Well, listen. The guy's got great taste."
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"He picked you over all the regulars."
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"[ Screams ]"
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"Very funny, Jack. You're a very funny guy."
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"No. I was just trying to..."
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"It is a super thrill living here with you..."
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"because we know we can count on you."
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"When the going gets rough, you come up with dumb jokes."
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"[ Banging On Door ]"
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"[ Mr. Roper ] Coming. [ Banging Continues ]"
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"Hold your horses."
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"First it's pacers, now it's knockers."
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"You're getting a nice variety, Stanley."
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"[ Banging Continues ] Who is it?"
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"[ Man ] Police Detective Lannigan, sir."
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"Do you know the difference between a real badge and a fake one?"
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"No. Then you better let him in."
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"Come in, Officer."
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"Good evening. Good evening."
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"Oh. Sorry to bother you at this late hour."
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"Listen, I can explain about those parking tickets."
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"Parking tickets? I never even saw them. They must have fallen off the car."
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"Otherwise I would have paid for all five of them."
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"- I'm from the vice squad. - Oh, boy, are you in the wrong apartment."
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"I'm looking for a Miss Chrissy Snow, and I've traced her to these premises."
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"She lives upstairs. What would you want with Chrissy?"
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"She's the sweetest little thing in the world."
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"Isn't she, Stanley? Yeah, she's very sweet."
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"What are you gonna arrest her for?"
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"Look. Can you just tell me what apartment she's in?"
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"I'll show you where it is."
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"Now that I think about it, there's some very strange goings-on up there."
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"Very strange. Like what?"
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"Like, uh, pacing."
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"You know, we had a pacer back in my hometown. Very weird little guy."
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"Murdered a nun."
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"Oh, Jack. Listen, I'm sorry..."
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"Where are you going? I thought I'd take a walk."
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"'Cause I hate myself. Can't you hate yourself in the morning?"
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"No, you don't understand, do ya?"
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"Chrissy needed comforting, and what did I do? I made her feel worse."
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"Who is it? [ Mr. Roper ] Open up, Jack."
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"Just what I need. Roper."
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"Oh. Uh, Miss Chrissy Snow, please."
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"Who are you?"
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"Chrissy."
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"That's him! That's the creep that called me a hooker."
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"Are you sure this is the guy?"
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"I can't believe it. Is it broken?"
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"No, you just bruised the knuckles."
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"I don't mean my hand. I mean his face. How is he? Is he all right?"
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"Just relax. Mr. and Mrs. Roper are taking care of him. Just relax."
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""Just relax"? I hit a cop, and you tell me to just relax?"
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"Come on. I don't think you could have hurt him very much. What? What? What?"
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"Do you have a small Band-Aid?"
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"Yeah, medicine chest, third shelf."
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"Thank you. See? All he needs is a small Band-Aid."
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"Oh, no, no, no. That's for Stanley."
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"Ice cubes? I'm on my way to the slammer, and your husband's mixing drinks?"
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"No, the ice is for the ice pack for Officer Lannigan."
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"To stop the swelling."
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"Swelling? I gave the guy swelling?"
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"This is great. Now tell me to relax. Relax."
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