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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Pilot (S01E01)

"Robin DiAngelo, she says,"
Abbott Elementary
""When you start policing people who have --""
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"Hey, Melissa, can you please tell "Ta-Nehisi Quotes" here"
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"that "white boy" is a term of endearment"
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"from the corner-store people?"
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"For Zach Ertz, yeah. For him, it's an insult."
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"Hmm?"
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"Uh... Melissa."
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"Schemmenti. Second-grade teacher."
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"What's half of 100?"
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"CHILDREN: 50!"
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"Also, $100, known as a C-note."
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"You Sicilian?"
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"Italian?"
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"You from South?"
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"Okay, you guys working with the cops?"
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"'Cause you gotta tell me."
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"Whew! Guys, I need a new rug."
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"Mine is officially done."
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"Mmm! Me too."
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"I shook mine out, and all of the asthma kids"
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"had to go to the nurse's office."
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"Yeah, mine's busted."
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"And you can't class up a rug"
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"like you can a couch with a nice coat of plastic."
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"Hey-yo! What it do, baby-boos? What y'all think about"
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"this little film crew I brought in here?"
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"Distracting, makes our jobs harder."
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"But exciting. We about to be on TV."
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"Because they are covering underfunded, poorly managed"
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"public schools in America."
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"No press is bad press, Barb."
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"Look at Mel Gibson. Still thriving."
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"(laughs) Daddy's Home 2? Hilarious!"
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"JANINE: Ava's our principal."
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"She has a... unique take on her job."
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"She's bad at her job."
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"What's unique is that she's bad at her job."
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"There you are. Ava, can I talk to you?"
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"Uh, I need an aide."
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"I'm outnumbered in there. The kids are crazy."
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"One of them told me to mind my six this morning."
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"I don't know what that means, and I need help."
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"Calm down. They're just kids."
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"And, besides, aides cost money, and we don't have that."
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"- Right, but I just -- - Do you want to split"
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"- your salary with somebody else? - No."
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"No, no. I didn't think so."
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"Well, if we can't get aides, maybe we can get new rugs?"
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"All I'm hearing is, "New, new, new, need, need, need.""
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"And, yet, Barb,"
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"one of our best and most senior teachers here,"
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"she never complains. What is your secret, Barb?"
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"Knowing there's not much you can do, Ava."
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"So understanding."
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"Be like Ms. Howard, people."
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"- (school bell rings) - (chuckles)"
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"(sniffles) But I'm not Ms. Howard."
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"Oh! Tina, look, just try some counting exercises."
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"Somewhere between 1 and 40, the kids calm down."
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"Uh..."
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"Oh. (sighs)"
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"You know, a little support"
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"might help make things happen, ladies."
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"My support was gonna do about as much"
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"as that five-year-old bra you've got on right there."
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"Hey, it's not impossible to get things."
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"Melissa asked for those new toy cash registers"
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"for her classroom and got them."
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"Yeah, those aren't toys."
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"I know a guy who worked a Walmart demolition."
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"I got a guy for everything."
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"I know a guy right now working the stadium build."
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"- Need rebar? - No."
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"Melissa is resourceful, capable."
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"Well, I think the younger teachers are capable."
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"Really? Then why is it"
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"that Ms. Schwartz's hair is falling out?"
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"Why does Jacob here need a smoking break"
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"every five minutes?"
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"I switched to an herbal vape."
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"And why can't any of you stick it out"
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"longer than two years?"
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"More turnovers than a bakery."
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"(door opens)"
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"Ouch. (chuckles)"
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"(door closes)"
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"You know what? Hell, I think we should still try for rugs."
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"Yeah."
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"You know, before I taught here, I was in Zimbabwe."
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"I was doing Teachers Without Borders,"
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"- and what I learned -- - Jacob,"
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"what did I say about, like, not talking"
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"about your time in Africa?"
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"- You -- You told me to -- - I told you to stop."
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"Yeah, it's weird."
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"The new-teacher track record here isn't great,"
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"but, ultimately, we are passionate"
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"and capable of doing this job."
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"Janine, Ms. Schwartz just kicked Rajon,"
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"and everyone's in the hallway going crazy."
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"Wait. What?"
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"(indistinct shouting)"
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"All right, all right. Calm down."
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"- Calm down. - What happened?"
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"- He hit me first! - Liar!"
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"I'm a liar?! I'm the liar?!"
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"Okay, aspetta. Calm it down."
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"I wonder if she tried counting. (chuckles)"
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"JACOB: All right, let's get you to the nurse."
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"You do not hit a kid."
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"It's like the one thing you don't do."
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"- You could threaten them. - You can yell at them."
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"Threaten the parents."
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"Mildly embarrass them."
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"I threatened a grandfather once."
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"You just don't kick a kid."
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"There was the bet. You didn't do --"
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"- Okay. - Oh."
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"So, not good."
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