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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - Suddenly Susan (S01E01)

"Last time we partied, I had to leave you"
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"at the front door of the ER."
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"- Um, thanks, um, but why are you desecrating"
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"Mr. Point Break Swayze?"
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"- Don't you remember?"
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"I hide my illegal narcotics all around town."
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"Just like a squirrel."
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"That's why they call me Squirrel."
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"Come on."
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"- Huh, did you know this big guy's addiction"
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"to eating human flesh didn't stop him from becoming"
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"the mayor of Fort Meyers?"
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"So much to learn."
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"Susan is smart."
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"- You're gonna love these, Susan."
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"I know a place where we can sample the goods"
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"and have wasted sex to the "Roadhouse" soundtrack."
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"Just like the old days, Susan. Remember?"
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"Just like before I took you to the ER."
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"- I'm going to have the time of my life."
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"And I owe it all to Sue."
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"- Phew!"
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"Nice viewing perch."
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"Did you lead me up here so we could sneak"
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"in a little mother-daughter bonding time?"
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"- There are so many things"
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"I've been wanting to talk with you about."
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"I had this dream a couple days ago"
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"where I wore shorts to school"
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"and things seemed to go pretty well?"
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"Do you think my calves could handle that in real life?"
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"Because I think clamdiggers are the best I can do right now."
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"- What a magical day."
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"I feel like we're finally connecting."
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"I love you, Mom."
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"- [ Chittering ]"
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"- Wait a minute."
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"Food deposits in cheeks."
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"Climbing ability."
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"Number two'ing outside in the daytime."
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"[ Gasps ] You switched souls"
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"with a squirrel to avoid my field trip!"
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"Didn't you?"
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"But you did send your body."
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"I guess that means you really do care about me."
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"You just misinterpret my radical acceptance"
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"as stupidity, don't you?"
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"Don't you? Aww."
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"Well, at least you didn't make me go to"
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"another school thing alone. That's something."
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"- How about a ride back down the tree?"
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"[ Laughs ]"
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"- Dasha, arranged marriage off."
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"Peter already have secret fiancée who might be his sister."
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"I know. This Old country way,"
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"but I always thought Petey fall in love "The Fast & The Furious""
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"style, where sexual tension meet illegal street racing,"
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"resulting in makeshift family of gorgeous misfits."
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"Ah, oh, well. Bye-bye."
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"- [ Laughs ]"
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"So, you telling me these kids get break from college,"
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"drink malt lemonade, walk into ocean and die,"
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"and then you make the money from their funerals?"
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"[ Laughs ] This is the American dream."
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"- I know. It sounds like a fairytale, but it's true."
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"- Tell us more, Dada."
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"- [ Gasps ] - I having too much fun, Peter."
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"I so glad you too milky to find own wife."
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"- Svetlana, I need to tell you something --"
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"[ Cellphone screaming ]"
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"It's my mother. I should take this."
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"You might as well get used to her coming between us."
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"- Of course, my Peter."
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"- Baba, I'm glad you called."
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"About Svetlana, I think I love her."
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"- Baba fix."
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"Bring Susan home now."
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"Wedding need to start ASAP"
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"because Baba go to bed in 30 minute."
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"- What? No, Baba, you don't under--"
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"- Baba find Svetlana new fiancé approved by village."
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"Amazing man."
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"Lives four blocks from beach."
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"More hair on arms."
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"Matchmaker calling Svetlana now."
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"- Baba, wait! I love Svetlana, not Susan."
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"Oh, no!"
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"- How much hair on arms? - Svetlana!"
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"- And what about fingers?"
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"- Oh! That's a lot better!"
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"- Svetlana! - Thank you."
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"- Peter, my great day now even better."
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"Since you lie to me and not say you already engaged"
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"to local woman, I get to marry man named Choad."
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"- Susan isn't really my fiancée."
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"I only told Baba she was because I wanted to find love on my own."
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"Then I did."
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"With you and Pete Jr."
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"Let's forget about Susan and Choad."
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"Call the matchmaker back."
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"Tell her you're going to marry me."
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"- Peter, oh, sweet foolish Peter."
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"Don't you know that love always begins by deceiving one's self,"
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"and always ends by deceiving others."
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"That is what the world calls romance."
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"Plus, Choad has hairier arms."
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"You understand. - No!"
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"No!"
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"If I had to do it over,"
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"I would have never gotten engaged"
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"to my resurrected sister's spirit"
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"inside another woman's decaying corpse."
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"- Like turducken. Yes, I see."
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"I wish you every happiness, Peter."
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"Go to corpse-sister Susan, work things out."
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"Maybe we meet again one day."
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"- [ Laughs ]"
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"- We're almost at the end of the trail, everyone."
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"Now, I know what you're thinking."
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"If you'd joined loom club instead,"
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