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Clips from American Dad! - Office Spaceman (S03E03)

"We finally harnessed the awesome power of the potato!"
American Dad!
"Actually, the potato has no power."
American Dad!
"It's just a buffer between the copper and the zinc ions."
American Dad!
"Hayley, I did my part to save water."
American Dad!
"I showered with the salad plates."
American Dad!
"Mom, this is my lab partner Katie."
American Dad!
"Um, Steve, could I speak to you for a second?"
American Dad!
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that girl is gonna have to leave."
American Dad!
"I'm just not comfortable having their kind in my house."
American Dad!
"- Mom! - Did you just say what I thought you said?"
American Dad!
"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave."
American Dad!
"Oh. Okay."
American Dad!
"Got some more pics for your crappy gossip rag."
American Dad!
"- C.I. A! Alien Task Force! - We got him!"
American Dad!
"Well, we got a tip. We couldn't find you, so we went with it."
American Dad!
"Did you look for me? Did you even look?"
American Dad!
"I was probably in the rest-Wait. I know what happened. It was bad times..."
American Dad!
"so I went to the can on the third floor."
American Dad!
"who has been taking all the alien pictures."
American Dad!
"I'm a bit of a germaphobe, so you'll pardon me if I don't kiss you on the lips."
American Dad!
"- You? You took all those pictures? - He sure did."
American Dad!
"we've put him in charge of the case."
American Dad!
"- But, sir- - You'll be answering to Peters now."
American Dad!
"- What's your name? - Stan."
American Dad!
"Hmm. I already know a Stan."
American Dad!
"Today, MortimerJames!"
American Dad!
"I add the middle name when I'm disappointed in him."
American Dad!
"Hey, Stan, wanna carpool to work? Name's Agent Parker Peters."
American Dad!
"My sister Samantha was abducted by aliens when I was 12."
American Dad!
"Now I chase little green men."
American Dad!
"Isn't that Mulder's backstory from The X Files?"
American Dad!
"I'm pretty sure I came up with it first."
American Dad!
"I'll go to work for a week, say I came up empty, and quit. No big whoop."
American Dad!
"If you'd listened to me in the first place, none of this would be happening."
American Dad!
"And I wouldn't have Lady Peckinpah."
American Dad!
"Isn't it great I got my own office?"
American Dad!
"You don't even have your own office, and you've worked at the C.I.A. How many years now?"
American Dad!
"- Give me that! Are you crazy? - Ow! You're gripping!"
American Dad!
"Equally nice."
American Dad!
"Unsettling knowing that the alien is out there..."
American Dad!
"somewhere out in that wide, wide world."
American Dad!
"What's your game, spaceman?"
American Dad!
"Oh, I don't have any cash on me."
American Dad!
"Cash? You have a vast, almost unending expense account."
American Dad!
"You know, I think I do have leads in..."
American Dad!
"Aruba, Jamaica-"
American Dad!
"Key Largo, Montego-"
American Dad!
"Great! Book a flight."
American Dad!
"Just let Smith know, and he'll write up the expense report."
American Dad!
"I hear it'll make me a more approachable boss."
American Dad!
"If you ever eat one, so help me, I'll destroy you."
American Dad!
"And I brought over some friends from school."
American Dad!
"Some of my best friends are black."
American Dad!
"Oh, perfect timing. I just made cookies."
American Dad!
"They're in the kitchen."
American Dad!
"What? No! How awful!"
American Dad!
"Of course I did! She's left-handed."
American Dad!
"Lefties are the devil's minions..."
American Dad!
"and you are never to bring another one into this house!"
American Dad!
"- Uh, sure. - She said okay!"
American Dad!
"Alligator!"
American Dad!
"This is my first time in Jamaica..."
American Dad!
"I gotta take this. I am a businessman."
American Dad!
"Second prize, a shot to the chops."
American Dad!
"What I've got is a receipt for a $2,000 yacht party!"
American Dad!
"Whole thing went up in flames. Super dramatic."
American Dad!
"You'll be getting the bill for that too. Do not tip. I took care of the tip."
American Dad!
"Roger, it's time for you to get your ass home and quit like we talked about."
American Dad!
"Hold on."
American Dad!
"but I don't even think he's from here."
American Dad!
"I can party forever!"
American Dad!
"I'm gettin' old."
American Dad!
"Can't bounce back like I used to."
American Dad!
"Bullock has something to tell you! He's gonna tell you that-"
American Dad!
"- No, no, no. No, no. You-You tell him. - Tell me what?"
American Dad!
"mocking me, taunting me?"
American Dad!
"Why'd you let this happen, Morty? You saw it spinning."
American Dad!
"Peters, Agent Smith has brought some troubling receipts to my attention."
American Dad!
"$1,200 dogsledding across Reykjavik."
American Dad!
"We're paying you to catch him, not just document him."
American Dad!
"How is it that you keep getting so close without seizing him?"
American Dad!
"The thing is..."
American Dad!
"the alien, he-"
American Dad!
"Coffee stirrer. Hot cup. Cup, cup, cup."
American Dad!
"Glass- Glass! George Glass!"
American Dad!
"That's Jan Brady's fake boyfriend."
American Dad!
"Oh. Why- Why haven't I caught the alien? Um-"
American Dad!
"The alien has the ability to go into any human body."
American Dad!
"He pops into the nearest human, and he's lost."
American Dad!
"- That is ridiculous! - Peters, I'm afraid..."
American Dad!
"I'm going to have to shut you down..."
American Dad!
"- Nobody watches sports? - Oh, I love sports."
American Dad!
"I'm always kicking or jumping or flapping."
American Dad!
"Physical evidence."
American Dad!
"Come on!"
American Dad!
"Oh. Protoplasm. That could work too."
American Dad!
"- Hello? - Mah-Mah, it's Steve and Hayley."
American Dad!
"Oh! It's so nice of my grandchildren to call."
American Dad!
"We just wanna ask you, why does Mom hate left-handed people?"
American Dad!
"We didn't adopt Francine until she was seven."
American Dad!
"We found her when she was five, but she was too expensive."
American Dad!
"But we visit her while we wait for market to fall."
American Dad!
"Okay, sweetie. Time to work on your penmanship."
American Dad!
"She usually beat her with a side of beef, but this was a Friday."
American Dad!
"That's terrible!"
American Dad!
"I still here! Now tell me about your day."
American Dad!
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mah-Mah. Well, this morning I went-"
American Dad!
"Mah-Mah always hang up first."
American Dad!
"- I wouldn't wait, sir. He was- - Gentlemen..."
American Dad!
"Well, I should hope so. Everybody does. It's show-and-tell day!"
American Dad!
"But you'll have to wait your turn. Sanders is first."
American Dad!
"This was my grandfather's. He was in the war. He was very brave."
American Dad!
"- Mmm. - Great. Thanks. My turn."
American Dad!
"In my hand, I hold proof of alien life."
American Dad!
"No alien would be stupid enough to leave behind hard evidence of its existence, right?"
American Dad!
"No, no. This alien is. I was at Taco King when I saw him by the salsa bar."
American Dad!
"I acquired this sample before the bastard got away."
American Dad!
"I strongly suspect he may now be on any island butJamaica."
American Dad!
"We'll lock this place down and test everyone."
American Dad!
"I don't have anything for show-and-tell."
American Dad!
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