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Clips from American Dad! - Office Spaceman (S03E03)

"I just found out I have liver cancer."
American Dad!
"I'm giving you a zero for the day."
American Dad!
"Oh! It's everywhere!"
American Dad!
"I'm gonna hit the urinal. Maybe you can use the one next to me."
American Dad!
"I have to go in... alone."
American Dad!
"If I don't make it out of there, tell my wife I love her."
American Dad!
"And Orlando Bloom. You know what?"
American Dad!
"The whole cast. The whole damn dirty pirate cast."
American Dad!
"But not Geoffrey Rush. But do it in front of Geoffrey Rush."
American Dad!
"I know you're in there, spaceman!"
American Dad!
"- What's your mission? Talk to me! - I'll kill you!"
American Dad!
"Although, Anne did take that great staff photo."
American Dad!
"I told you to listen to me! And now we're screwed!"
American Dad!
"tell Bullock that the alien jumped out of you and into it..."
American Dad!
"That, uh, actually makes sense."
American Dad!
"clear my head, and then I'll go back in and crack that mother."
American Dad!
"You've served your country well."
American Dad!
"It's been fun."
American Dad!
"Guess I'll just... go then."
American Dad!
"Now, we'll crack the rib cage and remove each and every organ until we find the alien."
American Dad!
"- You're gonna die. - What?"
American Dad!
"You're right!"
American Dad!
"But you need to listen to me. Can you do that?"
American Dad!
"Whatever you say, Stan. I'll do whatever you say."
American Dad!
"Take off your clothes. Do it!"
American Dad!
"Now take your thumb and put it in your mouth like a little schoolgirl."
American Dad!
"- Fine! God! Why do you hate movies? - Good."
American Dad!
"- Now walk out that door. - What?"
American Dad!
"I'm an alien, Stan, for reals! They'll kill me!"
American Dad!
"Listen to me for once and do it."
American Dad!
"I'll do it, Stan."
American Dad!
"There's your alien, men! I pooped him out!"
American Dad!
"What? You said I'd get away!"
American Dad!
"You sold me out! I trusted you!"
American Dad!
"I don't know what he's talking about."
American Dad!
"He'll say anything to save his life. We'd better cut him up immediately."
American Dad!
"No! Kill him instead!"
American Dad!
"He's been harboring me! I've been living in his-"
American Dad!
"I assume you'll want some days off to nurse your devastated bunghole."
American Dad!
"Mom, we know why you hate left-handed people."
American Dad!
"There was no orphanage. Who wants me to make them some laundry?"
American Dad!
"Mom, you were born left-handed."
American Dad!
"Don't speak to me that way! I'm your mother!"
American Dad!
"Oh! What you children must think of me."
American Dad!
"with two big, equally beautiful hands."
American Dad!
"We love you no matter what."
American Dad!
"Oh, Hayley. I'm so sorry I slapped you."
American Dad!
"I'm not. Know why? 'Cause you did it with your left hand."
American Dad!
"It's time I accept the truth and stop hiding."
American Dad!
"I just feel so violated by the fact that thing was inside me."
American Dad!
"- It would mean a lot to me if I could have the first cut. - All yours, Smith."
American Dad!
"Don't put that mask on me! I'm not ready to die! Not before Shatner!"
American Dad!
"Huh."
American Dad!
"He reversed the gas."
American Dad!
"" I told you to listen to me. ""
American Dad!
"He did. He totally did."
American Dad!
"So when we came to, Bullock reasoned that..."
American Dad!
"We're out of orange juice. I'll put it on the list."
American Dad!
"Okay, wish me luck."
American Dad!
"Playgirl's looking for studs."
American Dad!
"Roger, I don't think more naked pictures is such a good idea."
American Dad!
"But-But I already ordered the prosthetic."
American Dad!
"And once you strap it on, they won't take it back!"
American Dad!
"You know what? You're right."
American Dad!
"# But where will he be tomorrow #"
American Dad!
"# Where will he be ##"
American Dad!
"Bye! Have a beautiful time!"
American Dad!
"Roger, have you seen-"
American Dad!
"Hang on. This look like a puppy nose or part of a teacup?"
American Dad!
"Ah!"
American Dad!
"Damn it, Roger! Look at this! Someone must be following you."
American Dad!
"Some people are leaders, some are followers."
American Dad!
"Wordplay. Who am I talking to?"
American Dad!
"Well, see you at school, Steve."
American Dad!
"Smith, we've made a break in the alien case."
American Dad!
"What? But I'm in charge of that! Why don't I know about this?"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God!"
American Dad!
"He's going to catch this alien and bring him in."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna call you Mortimer. Now, run and fix me a coffee."
American Dad!
"I'll be in your car wishing you had a better car."
American Dad!
"Sixty?"
American Dad!
"Unsettling is the word I'd use, sir."
American Dad!
"Well, I'll let you get to it."
American Dad!
"Get there fast, and then take it slow."
American Dad!
"- Black ones, to be specific. - That's right, Mom!"
American Dad!
"Whoever comes back with the yummiest drink gets to watch me drink it."
American Dad!
"Just spotted the alien in a cabana. Or is it " cabanya"?"
American Dad!
"The kid who brought me my towel said " cabanya"..."
American Dad!
"Whoo!"
American Dad!
"$600 on ouzo at the Pink Palace."
American Dad!
"One minute, he's in front of you. The next, poof!"
American Dad!
"By the time we adopt her, she was convinced that left-handedness was evil."
American Dad!
"Of course! Mom's left-handed hatred was learned..."
American Dad!
"I have something to show you."
American Dad!
"- That place is awful. - There's gunk that looks just like that..."
American Dad!
"How could you just leave this stuff here?"
American Dad!
"Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary."
American Dad!
"I tried to get some info from you."
American Dad!
"Hmm. Not bad. Perfect."
American Dad!
"Uh, no need, Peters. We're performing the autopsy now."
American Dad!
"- We've been to the orphanage. - Orphanage? What's that?"
American Dad!
"Yes. Yes, it's true!"
American Dad!
"I'm doing what has to be done."
American Dad!
"# But where will he be #"
American Dad!
"- Give him anything he needs. - Yes, I'm the boss of you."
American Dad!
"Caught him, sir! The alien jumped into Stan Smith."
American Dad!
"So, the alien's inside of Smith."
American Dad!
"But it's worth it to finally nail this bastard."
American Dad!
"It's the type of mackerel the nuns used to beat the lies into you."
American Dad!
"Hey! What wrong with you?"
American Dad!
"Relax. I'll just go fetch a lizard..."
American Dad!
"No! Evil- writing with your left hand!"
American Dad!
"which means we can help her unlearn it."
American Dad!
"Agent Peters, I'm sure you're mistaken."
American Dad!
"# The kid is hot tonight #"
American Dad!
"Yeah. I'm gonna go down there and splay it loud and proud."
American Dad!
"- That's because of the orphanage. - Orphanage?"
American Dad!
"Then we affix the wire to the nail."
American Dad!
"It's ringing."
American Dad!
"I said no more candid pics. I love semantics."
American Dad!
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