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Clips from American Dad! - Pulling Double Booty (S04E04)

"Here's a Katie. And this must be Tom."
American Dad!
"You're crazy! Let her have a cell phone!"
American Dad!
"There's nothing here. No wiener, no wedge."
American Dad!
"This summer isn't exotic. It sucks!"
American Dad!
"Where's my beer? Tsingtao! Chilled glass."
American Dad!
"I know you can hear me, old man!"
American Dad!
"World's worst waiter right here."
American Dad!
"Sir, I was wondering, where do all these chickens go?"
American Dad!
"Female go to farm, lay eggs."
American Dad!
"- Male get culled. - Culled?"
American Dad!
"Ah, yes. Culled."
American Dad!
"## [Big Band]"
American Dad!
"So glamorous."
American Dad!
"Tsingtao!"
American Dad!
"At this rate, the beer's gonna come out at the same time as the spring rolls!"
American Dad!
"I know there are no spring rolls. You're in a bit, and you're doing fine."
American Dad!
"- There you are! - [Slurping]"
American Dad!
"Stay the hell out of my love life!"
American Dad!
"Stan, Hayley told me you've been airlifting men out of her life all week."
American Dad!
"Look, Francine, I'm just trying to find her someone reliable, someone good."
American Dad!
"Someone- Someone like me."
American Dad!
"Oh, forgot to feed Klaus."
American Dad!
"[Gasps] Stan, no!"
American Dad!
"Klaus is having a blood test in the morning! He's not supposed to eat for 12 hours!"
American Dad!
"[Hayley Giggling]"
American Dad!
"- [Moaning] - [Moaning, Giggling]"
American Dad!
"[Gasps, Groans]"
American Dad!
"- Mmm. - Honey, you are a great kisser."
American Dad!
"Don't talk like that, Bill. It's creepy."
American Dad!
"[Southern Accent] Shucks, I'm just kiddin' around!"
American Dad!
"But my Stan Smith is dead on."
American Dad!
"That's why I'm the best damn body double at the C.I.A."
American Dad!
"Well, bring that body over here... on the double."
American Dad!
"[Both Moaning]"
American Dad!
"Francine tried to hide the cookie dough in the washing machine, but I found it."
American Dad!
"I always find it."
American Dad!
"- Do I pause? - Yeah. He's gonna sit down."
American Dad!
"You bastard! How could you?"
American Dad!
"Okay, you caught me. But can you blame me?"
American Dad!
"- It's just so sweet and tempting. - [Gasps]"
American Dad!
"You're sick. You should be in jail."
American Dad!
"Oh, come on. You're overreacting. Roger does it too."
American Dad!
"- Yeah. I've stuck my fingers in there. - [Gasps, Gags]"
American Dad!
"Guess I'll go get some new popcorn."
American Dad!
"- You all know Bill, right? - Hi, Stan, Francine."
American Dad!
"Hmm? Wait. So that was Bill upstairs?"
American Dad!
"You were just making out with a man who looks exactly like your father."
American Dad!
"[Retching]"
American Dad!
"I felt the same way at first."
American Dad!
"Stay the hell out of my love life!"
American Dad!
"[Hayley Narrating] I dumped a salad on Bill, thinking he was Dad."
American Dad!
"He was cool about it and we got to talking."
American Dad!
"Turned out we had a lot in common."
American Dad!
"We went on a few dates, and now I don't even see the resemblance to Dad anymore."
American Dad!
"This... is... fantastic!"
American Dad!
"Why didn't I think of Bill in the first place?"
American Dad!
"He's a perfect specimen for her."
American Dad!
"Look at his powerful, devoted shoulders, his strong, reliable chin..."
American Dad!
"Oh, yuck! Why does it stink so bad on this side of the building?"
American Dad!
"It does stink, boy, on account of the slurry machine."
American Dad!
"After the male chicks are liquefied..."
American Dad!
"they're processed into dog food and chicken nuggets."
American Dad!
"[Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Ha! You thought they got top hats."
American Dad!
"- Mwah! - [Retches]"
American Dad!
"[Squawking]"
American Dad!
"I'll catch up. I just want to take a dip."
American Dad!
"Yeah. He sure looks like your dad."
American Dad!
"- I mean, if he dumped me, I don't know what I would do. - You'd be fine!"
American Dad!
"No. I think I'd go maximum crazy!"
American Dad!
"I'd murder Bill, burn down the neighborhood, rape Roger!"
American Dad!
"- Hayley! - But that's not gonna happen."
American Dad!
"We're doing great. We're totally taking it slow."
American Dad!
"I mean, all we do is kiss. He is a great kisser."
American Dad!
"- [Squawking] - Get away! Shoo! This one's for the hermit crabs."
American Dad!
"Eh, she's all right. You want to see something really hot, check out her mama."
American Dad!
"Now, that's a woman."
American Dad!
"Bill, you ever jerk it in the great big blue?"
American Dad!
"Hey, don't judge. Wipe that look off my face."
American Dad!
"I hate these chickens. Hate that one the most."
American Dad!
"Roger, don't be like that."
American Dad!
"Why not? You've ruined everything!"
American Dad!
"- Ah. - Stan, I'm making dinner!"
American Dad!
"Hanging out with Bill has reminded me how sexy I am."
American Dad!
"I don't think now's the time- Mmm!"
American Dad!
"Wait! I gotta put the meat loaf in the oven first."
American Dad!
"You go upstairs and sink-wash your junk."
American Dad!
"Oh, Bill. Hayley's not home yet."
American Dad!
"- No. Honey, it's me. - Why were you outside?"
American Dad!
"Shouldn't you be upstairs getting ready for sex time?"
American Dad!
"- On meat loaf night? - Don't look at me like I'm crazy."
American Dad!
"We were just making out in the kitchen."
American Dad!
"Making out? What are we, two 16-year-old girls?"
American Dad!
"All right, baby. Hop in and-"
American Dad!
"Hey, there he is! How's it going, big guy?"
American Dad!
"- Bill, what the hell are you doing? - Oh, this?"
American Dad!
"Well, when you were talking about how hot your wife was, I realized you were right."
American Dad!
"So I decided to nail her before I nailed your daughter."
American Dad!
"Guess you didn't know old Bill likes to stir the pot."
American Dad!
"You ever come near my family again, I'll kill you!"
American Dad!
"- I guess we have to tell Hayley. - Are you crazy?"
American Dad!
"If you tell Hayley that the love of her life tried to sleep with her mother..."
American Dad!
"she'll go on a rampage, and they'll lock her up!"
American Dad!
"Then we'll just tell her he left."
American Dad!
"- No, because then she'll think he dumped her and- - Go on a rampage."
American Dad!
"Hey, have you guys seen Bill?"
American Dad!
"We're supposed to go on our romantic weekend, and he's half an hour late."
American Dad!
"- Do you think he's not coming? - [Together] No!"
American Dad!
"You'd better hope Bill shows up. You don't even know."
American Dad!
"Why isn't he here?"
American Dad!
"Hayley, listen. Mommy's terrified."
American Dad!
"But there is something you should know."
American Dad!
"Bill- Bill-"
American Dad!
"Bill! Oh, I'm so glad you're here! I'll go get my bag."
American Dad!
"- Stan? - Yeah. Pretty good impression, huh?"
American Dad!
"Watch. I also do a good Roger. I like wine."
American Dad!
"Don't worry. I've got it figured out."
American Dad!
"I pretend to be Bill, act like a total jerk all weekend, and Hayley breaks up with me."
American Dad!
"No rampage. No jail."
American Dad!
"Have f-fun, you two."
American Dad!
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