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Clips from 30 Rock - Mamma Mia (S03E03)

"Hey, Jack."
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"If he wears an Atlanta Falcons jersey"
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"That's a dealbreaker, ladies!"
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"Uh, what else is there to discuss?"
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"Ugh, really? You're going to do the repressed Irish thing?"
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"You know what family means to me, Lemon?"
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"Resentment, guilt, anger..."
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"Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights."
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"Why would I want to invite more"
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"Because maybe he's awesome."
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"She had her reasons for keeping this from me for 50 years."
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"And I don't want her to relive it."
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"$200,000 a year to mow my lawn."
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"And I'm not sure I ever wanna know."
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"Why? Jack, every man should know his father."
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"No, it wasn't."
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"Because not long ago..."
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"Iike a dog in a sidecar when it comes loose from the motorcycle."
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"one of the best things that ever happened to me."
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"Thanks, Tracy."
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"That's a dealbreaker, ladies."
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"Ugh."
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"Huh."
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"Well, as long as it's for something you need."
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"I love you, man."
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"I gave my gun to my pastor."
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"There's no way that's Tracy's son, right?"
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"shoes are the best kind of shoes."
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"A lot of his friends are dead."
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"He falls asleep in chairs."
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"Lemon."
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"to narrow my father's identity down to these three men."
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"See what happens, Lemon?"
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"What am I supposed to do? Fly around the country"
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"This was too much trouble when it was just one person. I'm out."
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"Dot, dot, dot... fun."
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"Ah."
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"# Like the way that I rhyme at a show?"
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"# It takes two to make a thing go right?"
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"Well, if you're 39, how old do you think Donald is?"
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"But starting a small business is expensive."
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"# If e'er a fair maiden a knight chanced to see?"
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"My three dads."
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"Oh, okay."
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"Uh, welcome, Mr. Park."
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"And Jack, this is Professor Milton Greene."
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"She texts her gay friends while"
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"Liz..."
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"That's the voice you should use"
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"Hey... Kenny!"
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"We gotta stop that guy."
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"No, you can't get someone else's birth certificate."
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"I know karate."
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"Oh. Greene... that's sort of a vague name."
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"We're agnostic secular humanists."
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"raping the environment, waging an illegal war..."
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"Uh, history will validate the liberation of Iraq."
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"Oh, God, no."
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"Well, thank you for so graciously including me."
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"Wait... what is that?"
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"it'd be fun if we got a little wacky."
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"I know you've never done this before"
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"Fabulous, ladies, you look beautiful."
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"Nice try, pal."
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"Not gonna do it."
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"This is great. Great, so great."
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"I understand you study the art of the empty hand."
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"Ow!"
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"Help Mommy's baby..."
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"I'm walking away."
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"he asked me when my cult"
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"was committing suicide."
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"Maybe he won't, I don't know, but so what?"
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"Exactly. Or you tell him and he starts crying"
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"and you hug and then you have a dad..."
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"which is pretty cool, too."
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"By the way, did the medical supply store where you"
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"bought those shoes have any... women's stuff?"
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"We still don't know how old any African-Americans are."
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"Oh, that reminds me, I..."
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"You will get old some day."
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"When Donald came to me, he was a fast-talking charmer"
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"Do you know Kenneth's $80 bought a chess set and a crate of condoms?"
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"I'm on the cover."
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"Do you remember a woman named Colleen Donaghy?"
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"One month, I couldn't pay, so she said maybe"
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"So, I gave her my radio."
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"I was born around nine months after that."
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"I have a son!"
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"Yeah, isn't it amazing?"
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"Congratulations, Lemon."
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"I see you read my memo about having more catch-phrases on your show."
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"What catch-phrases?"
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"Oh, are you talking about..."
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"If your man leaves in boxers"
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"and comes home in briefs..."
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"that's a dealbreaker, ladies."
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"to your sister's wedding..."
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"This is going to be huge for Jenna."
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"And for me, 'cause I wrote that phrase."
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"If you say so, Lemon."
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"Jack, is this really what you wanted to talk about?"
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"Be Italian for, like, one second."
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""I'm-a Jack, I don't know who-a my father is."
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""I'm-a so emotional I'm-a gonna smash these barrels.""
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"We're not discussing that because I've made a decision."
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"I don't want to know who my real father is."
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"Are you kidding? Why?"
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"of that into my life?"
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"Why would I want more family?"
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"Look, why don't you just ask your mother who it is?"
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"No, no, not Colleen."
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"Also, I want something really juicy to whisper to her on her deathbed."
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"Look, Jack, I don't have a lot of personal life experience."
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"But if I have learned anything from my Sims family..."
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"when a child doesn't see his father enough"
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"he starts to jump up and down."
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"And then, his Mood Level will drop..."
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"until he pees himself."
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"Why don't I have any other friends?"
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