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Clips from NewsRadio - President (S03E03)

Every journalist in the country

"Every journalist in the country"

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Look, Matthew, I've known you a long time, man.

"Look, Matthew, I've known you a long time, man."

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No. No, not at all.

"No. No, not at all."

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JIMMY: Would you look at that?

"JIMMY: Would you look at that?"

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Frightened of the feelings

"Frightened of the feelings"

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Actually, that wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"Actually, that wasn't entirely unpleasant."

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Overly-complicated tax system.

"Overly-complicated tax system."

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might, uh, do the trick,

"might, uh, do the trick,"

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Dig up anything, uh, juicy yet?

"Dig up anything, uh, juicy yet?"

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well, you know, make myself sexier.

"well, you know, make myself sexier."

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No. Let's see, last, uh,

"No. Let's see, last, uh,"

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Well, a week in Wisconsin will feel that way, right, Dave?

"Well, a week in Wisconsin will feel that way, right, Dave?"

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This just doesn't make any sense to me.

"This just doesn't make any sense to me."

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I know.

"I know."

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Uh, Wisconsin, sir. Same thing.

"Uh, Wisconsin, sir. Same thing."

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you know, but from where I stand, she looks A-okay to me.

"you know, but from where I stand, she looks A-okay to me."

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How many people are watching this?

"How many people are watching this?"

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I ended up streaking through

"I ended up streaking through"

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Oh, yeah, this, um...

"Oh, yeah, this, um..."

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Joe! Joe, come back.

"Joe! Joe, come back."

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who's going to be president.

"who's going to be president."

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Poor, misguided freak.

"Poor, misguided freak."

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You know that I don't necessarily think

"You know that I don't necessarily think"

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Matthew, that's what he would have said.

"Matthew, that's what he would have said."

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Does this mean you're expecting

"Does this mean you're expecting"

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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"Crazy candidate's press conference

""Crazy candidate's press conference"

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bothering us in the past...

"bothering us in the past..."

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Why? Uh, trouble.

"Why? Uh, trouble."

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Well, the heartland appreciates your respect, sir.

"Well, the heartland appreciates your respect, sir."

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Have you ever held elected office before?

"Have you ever held elected office before?"

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Yes, I am. No, you're not.

"Yes, I am. No, you're not."

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How did you get dragged into this?

"How did you get dragged into this?"

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I have decided to run for president of the United States.

"I have decided to run for president of the United States."

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No.

"No."

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I will personally kill anyone who tries to help him.

"I will personally kill anyone who tries to help him."

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I brought back some souvenir glassware.

"I brought back some souvenir glassware."

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Well, thanks. How was, uh, Wis-can-sin?

"Well, thanks. How was, uh, Wis-can-sin?"

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I mean, does he think he can win?

"I mean, does he think he can win?"

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Ah, it felt like an eternity.

"Ah, it felt like an eternity."

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I just look at this, and...

"I just look at this, and..."

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Well, mine's gotta look a little better than that.

"Well, mine's gotta look a little better than that."

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See, Dave likes my moustache.

"See, Dave likes my moustache."

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Great. Tell us both about Ohio.

"Great. Tell us both about Ohio."

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Yes, but a presidential race isn't just about money.

"Yes, but a presidential race isn't just about money."

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a cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce.

"a cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce."

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A little envious, but who wouldn't be?

"A little envious, but who wouldn't be?"

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I thought it was Area 51.

"I thought it was Area 51."

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I'll give you an exclusive interview. Three questions. Go.

"I'll give you an exclusive interview. Three questions. Go."

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Matthew, no one can force you to do anything.

"Matthew, no one can force you to do anything."

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Ladies and gentlemen of the press,

"Ladies and gentlemen of the press,"

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I'll be forced to set myself on fire as a diversionary tactic.

"I'll be forced to set myself on fire as a diversionary tactic."

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JIMMY: Next question.

"JIMMY: Next question."

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Yeah, I didn't think so.

"Yeah, I didn't think so."

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I didn't think anybody'd figure that out, but, uh...

"I didn't think anybody'd figure that out, but, uh..."

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Exactly. And I know what it is.

"Exactly. And I know what it is."

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Okay, I think it's absolutely necessary.

"Okay, I think it's absolutely necessary."

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Thank you, and good night, everybody!

"Thank you, and good night, everybody!"

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that disturbs me.

"that disturbs me."

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that could transform the whole presidential race.

"that could transform the whole presidential race."

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BETH: I'm sorry, Mr. James.

"BETH: I'm sorry, Mr. James."

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I got it.

"I got it."

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He's too smart to be president.

"He's too smart to be president."

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I got to see my folks, visit a few museums.

"I got to see my folks, visit a few museums."

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Huh? Nothing. Welcome back.

"Huh? Nothing. Welcome back."

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What-- What up?

"What-- What up?"

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Hey, Dave, how was Ohio?

"Hey, Dave, how was Ohio?"

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Why?

"Why?"

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Well, if you'll excuse me,

"Well, if you'll excuse me,"

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Ow!

"Ow!"

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You look like you belong in an amateur porn convention.

"You look like you belong in an amateur porn convention."

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Yeah. Oh, uh-uh.

"Yeah. Oh, uh-uh."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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you know, wherever I can,

"you know, wherever I can,"

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is going to be eating right out of my hand.

"is going to be eating right out of my hand."

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You know, like with one of your rich friends.

"You know, like with one of your rich friends."

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We can't just sit and let him make an ass of himself.

"We can't just sit and let him make an ass of himself."

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but apparently that ain't happenin'.

"but apparently that ain't happenin'."

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Oh, sorry. Hey!

"Oh, sorry. Hey!"

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Can I go back to work, please?

"Can I go back to work, please?"

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I think you'd be wise to start smaller.

"I think you'd be wise to start smaller."

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It's just that I--

"It's just that I--"

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No, no, that's not me.

"No, no, that's not me."

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Tell you what, can we, uh-- Can we lower this thing

"Tell you what, can we, uh-- Can we lower this thing"

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All right. Go ahead. Thank you.

"All right. Go ahead. Thank you."

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[WHISPERS] Shut up. You shut up.

"[WHISPERS] Shut up. You shut up."

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But then, neither is this country,

"But then, neither is this country,"

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Is that all you've got? Yes.

"Is that all you've got? Yes."

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That's it? Yes, I'm sorry.

"That's it? Yes, I'm sorry."

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a cry for attention from a lonely, lonely man.

"a cry for attention from a lonely, lonely man."

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JIMMY: You'll be glad you did.

"JIMMY: You'll be glad you did."

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You're not. You're a frightened, little girl.

"You're not. You're a frightened, little girl."

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Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

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I was talking to Ted Koppel earlier--

"I was talking to Ted Koppel earlier--"

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I tell you what, between you and me,

"I tell you what, between you and me,"

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No, I'm not.

"No, I'm not."

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