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Clips from NewsRadio - Arcade (S03E03)

to convince me to bring back the sandwich machine?

"to convince me to bring back the sandwich machine?"

NewsRadio

Only if you dyed all your hair gray to match.

"Only if you dyed all your hair gray to match."

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Uh, it's the testing people.

"Uh, it's the testing people."

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Hi. Yes, I'm calling for the results

"Hi. Yes, I'm calling for the results"

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Uh, Lisa Miller and David Nelson.

"Uh, Lisa Miller and David Nelson."

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[MOANS]

"[MOANS]"

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Well?

"Well?"

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Well, uh, I scored the same as I did in high school.

"Well, uh, I scored the same as I did in high school."

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Terrific, terrific. You feel better?

"Terrific, terrific. You feel better?"

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No, Dave, I don't, because your score,

"No, Dave, I don't, because your score,"

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on the other hand, dropped 120 points.

"on the other hand, dropped 120 points."

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So what? So what?

"So what? So what?"

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So what? At this rate, by this time next year

"So what? At this rate, by this time next year"

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I'll be spoonfeeding you pudding while you watch Barney tapes.

"I'll be spoonfeeding you pudding while you watch Barney tapes."

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Listen, that test was not an a-accurate assessment

"Listen, that test was not an a-accurate assessment"

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outside factors that had an adverse effect

"outside factors that had an adverse effect"

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upon my performance.

"upon my performance."

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Oh, Dave, outside factors? Give me a break.

"Oh, Dave, outside factors? Give me a break."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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Well...

"Well..."

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I am very, very disappointed in you, Dave.

"I am very, very disappointed in you, Dave."

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when I did the same thing before the real SATs.

"when I did the same thing before the real SATs."

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You know, who wants to be in California in the winter?

"You know, who wants to be in California in the winter?"

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and at least you got really, really good

"and at least you got really, really good"

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"Stargate Defender."

""Stargate Defender.""

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[SQUISHES]

"[SQUISHES]"

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So, what, there's another sandwich machine

"So, what, there's another sandwich machine"

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on another floor?

"on another floor?"

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Nope, made 'em myself, heh.

"Nope, made 'em myself, heh."

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and then I... he-he, taped 'em to the roof

"and then I... he-he, taped 'em to the roof"

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of my van when I drove in to work this morning.

"of my van when I drove in to work this morning."

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No.

"No."

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I replaced the video arcade game like you asked me to.

"I replaced the video arcade game like you asked me to."

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DAVE: No!

"DAVE: No!"

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[WHISPERS] Oh, Dave, Dave, Dave.

"[WHISPERS] Oh, Dave, Dave, Dave."

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No!

"No!"

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[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

"[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]"

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I wish I was big.

"I wish I was big."

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Hey, fellas.

"Hey, fellas."

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So how'd you do?

"So how'd you do?"

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No, I mean on the SATs.

"No, I mean on the SATs."

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So, uh, is your mom gonna pick you up here?

"So, uh, is your mom gonna pick you up here?"

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Damn. Damn.

"Damn. Damn."

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DAVE: Come on, guys.

"DAVE: Come on, guys."

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Matthew may be too into it.

"Matthew may be too into it."

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Who is it? Who is it? Well, Matthew, that--

"Who is it? Who is it? Well, Matthew, that--"

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And it is for your suggestion:

"And it is for your suggestion:"

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about the sandwich machine, anyways.

"about the sandwich machine, anyways."

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Good, 'cause I got Jumble fever, and I got it bad.

"Good, 'cause I got Jumble fever, and I got it bad."

NewsRadio

Let's see here, we got "ned."

"Let's see here, we got "ned.""

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There's no O in that one. Shh! I know.

"There's no O in that one. Shh! I know."

NewsRadio

O, O, ona, ona, O, O, O, O, O...

"O, O, ona, ona, O, O, O, O, O..."

NewsRadio

Oh, "mostly," "detained," and:

"Oh, "mostly," "detained," and:"

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[CHUCKLES]

"[CHUCKLES]"

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No, I'm very serious.

"No, I'm very serious."

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but I just don't have enough change.

"but I just don't have enough change."

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And they're putting that monstrosity in its place.

"And they're putting that monstrosity in its place."

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Now, Beth, what's this about replacing the sandwich machine?

"Now, Beth, what's this about replacing the sandwich machine?"

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The glory days before the 16-bit processors.

"The glory days before the 16-bit processors."

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That is, if the Yllabian Space Guppies

"That is, if the Yllabian Space Guppies"

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While those-- Those vidiots play that infernal game.

"While those-- Those vidiots play that infernal game."

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Look, once you put your first quarter into it,

"Look, once you put your first quarter into it,"

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It will irreversibly ruin your life.

"It will irreversibly ruin your life."

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Two years, huh? Mm-hm.

"Two years, huh? Mm-hm."

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Hello. Hello.

"Hello. Hello."

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aren't even an accurate test of intelligence.

"aren't even an accurate test of intelligence."

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There's nothin' I could do, Dave. They're all gone.

"There's nothin' I could do, Dave. They're all gone."

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Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God."

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Hey, man. Huh?

"Hey, man. Huh?"

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My mom? Really? Yeah.

"My mom? Really? Yeah."

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But you know what, you shouldn't smoke.

"But you know what, you shouldn't smoke."

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of my abilities, all right? There were certain

"of my abilities, all right? There were certain"

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Then I rapped them in foil

"Then I rapped them in foil"

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All right, now, look, Dave. I just want you to be prepared.

"All right, now, look, Dave. I just want you to be prepared."

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What, h-has somebody beaten my high score?

"What, h-has somebody beaten my high score?"

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What is the fun in that?

"What is the fun in that?"

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"The manager said the pinch hitter would be a--"

""The manager said the pinch hitter would be a--""

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I-I'm very busy with this report right now, sorry.

"I-I'm very busy with this report right now, sorry."

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So...

"So..."

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[CLEARS THROAT]

"[CLEARS THROAT]"

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All right, good night, sir.

"All right, good night, sir."

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No, it hasn't.

"No, it hasn't."

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Oh, you rearrange the letters to make words.

"Oh, you rearrange the letters to make words."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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Puzzles on the back of cereal boxes

"Puzzles on the back of cereal boxes"

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[CRUNCH]

"[CRUNCH]"

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Good night, Jimmy. [BLATHERS]

"Good night, Jimmy. [BLATHERS]"

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You okay, Bill? I'm fine.

"You okay, Bill? I'm fine."

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Great.

"Great."

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"Stargate Defender" kept me out of Stanford.

""Stargate Defender" kept me out of Stanford."

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"Stargate Defender."

""Stargate Defender.""

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Well, it's not all that bad, really.

"Well, it's not all that bad, really."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Oh, hey, has anybody done the Jumble yet?

"Oh, hey, has anybody done the Jumble yet?"

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and ran 'em through the clothes dryer,

"and ran 'em through the clothes dryer,"

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Nope.

"Nope."

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Then when I got here-- I'll get the recipe later.

"Then when I got here-- I'll get the recipe later."

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Matthew's into it.

"Matthew's into it."

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Yeah, there's no Z in that one.

"Yeah, there's no Z in that one."

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Oh, my God, that's hard. I know.

"Oh, my God, that's hard. I know."

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No, how'd you do it so fast?

"No, how'd you do it so fast?"

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all the spaceships--

"all the spaceships--"

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between these two pictures.

"between these two pictures."

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Hey, gang! What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happenin'.

"Hey, gang! What's the buzz? Tell me what's a-happenin'."

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and it does further your understanding of other--

"and it does further your understanding of other--"

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Damn.

"Damn."

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Uh-huh-- You don't smoke. I did in high school.

"Uh-huh-- You don't smoke. I did in high school."

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Hey, whoa.

"Hey, whoa."

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Yes, I did!

"Yes, I did!"

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Mmm. Oh, yeah.

"Mmm. Oh, yeah."

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Hey, aren't you that dude we met at the SAT place?

"Hey, aren't you that dude we met at the SAT place?"

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not stupider than you.

"not stupider than you."

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It's been a long time, my little friends.

"It's been a long time, my little friends."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Okay, what everyone's been waiting for:

"Okay, what everyone's been waiting for:"

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That's all right. The winner this month is Beth.

"That's all right. The winner this month is Beth."

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and blamed it on ghosts.

"and blamed it on ghosts."

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has made me peckish.

"has made me peckish."

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Well, Matthew, I keep telling you,

"Well, Matthew, I keep telling you,"

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Ona, ona, ona, ona. O, O, O, O...

"Ona, ona, ona, ona. O, O, O, O..."

NewsRadio

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