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Clips from King of the Hill - Hank's Choice (S05E05)

"When I was growing up, we had a dog that we kept outside in its own little house."
King of the Hill
"No. Bill's right. I could build Ladybird a doghouse."
King of the Hill
"I was gonna build her one when she was a puppy."
King of the Hill
"But then Bobby came along and I got sidetracked making a crib."
King of the Hill
"make them now before I file the permits."
King of the Hill
"I still have to put in the baseboards and bolt the walls to the foundation."
King of the Hill
"but he's been asleep for 18 hours."
King of the Hill
"Look, I'm as concerned as you are, Peggy, but I need more time."
King of the Hill
"I can't have a dog in there licking at exposed wiring."
King of the Hill
"- The floor is warm. - That's the radiant subfloor heating."
King of the Hill
"You know, 80% of a dog's heat loss is through its pads."
King of the Hill
""Although we move you into Barkingham Palace today..."
King of the Hill
"Okay, Luanne, the champagne."
King of the Hill
"Forgive me."
King of the Hill
"DALE: Push her in!"
King of the Hill
"I made the architects first mistake. I designed it for me, not the client."
King of the Hill
"Okay, grand reopening in 36 hours. This time, no gifts."
King of the Hill
"Bill! Not today! Abort!"
King of the Hill
"HANK: I've got the backscratcher close to the food dispenser..."
King of the Hill
"in case Ladybird wants to scratch and eat at the same time."
King of the Hill
"Hank, I can give her a good home."
King of the Hill
"Ladybird won't go in her doghouse."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, that cannot be good for you."
King of the Hill
"Hank, it is only fair to warn you that tomorrow I am shaving the dog."
King of the Hill
"We'll have to wash, or dry-clean, all of our clothes..."
King of the Hill
"then vacuum all over."
King of the Hill
"You know, Ladybird hasn't gone in the doghouse..."
King of the Hill
"so there's no dander in there."
King of the Hill
"And the air filter would work better in a small room."
King of the Hill
"And for less than the cost of cleaning the house..."
King of the Hill
"What I was thinking was, Bobby could live in the doghouse."
King of the Hill
"Yeah, that'll work. Bobby's only 13. He's young. it'll be fun for him."
King of the Hill
"But Ladybird's 13. She doesn't have much time left..."
King of the Hill
"Ladybird! Daddy's got your din-din!"
King of the Hill
"It'll be like Tom Sawyer, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"But instead of a raft, you'll have a doghouse."
King of the Hill
"Okay, Bobby. You've indulged your father long enough."
King of the Hill
"Now, get out. Get..."
King of the Hill
"He's not getting out. He must be stuck. Hank!"
King of the Hill
"I like the neighborhood..."
King of the Hill
"Bobby's a big boy, Peggy. Can't hang on forever."
King of the Hill
"Time to move on, Mom."
King of the Hill
"The courtesy of an invitation. That's all I ask."
King of the Hill
"Peggy, we couldn't even fit in the door."
King of the Hill
"Tony's Pizza will do nicely until Dad installs my kitchen grill."
King of the Hill
"I poured out the wine so we can put a candle in it."
King of the Hill
"- You can't beat that view of the alley. - Yeah."
King of the Hill
"MINH: Hey, Peggy Hill!"
King of the Hill
"I'm glad you find my son's sickness so amusing."
King of the Hill
"If he were living in a plastic bubble, I would be having lunch with Elton John."
King of the Hill
"But because he is in a doghouse..."
King of the Hill
"Big laugh."
King of the Hill
"You know what would be really funny?"
King of the Hill
"Hank, people are starting to talk."
King of the Hill
"He's learning a little bit about the real world out there in the doghouse."
King of the Hill
"But I have turned our son into a stranger."
King of the Hill
"Well, if that's what you think is best..."
King of the Hill
"I guess I'll set up Ladybird in Bobby's room, then."
King of the Hill
"Don't let Ladybird... LB in the room until I'm finished."
King of the Hill
"I want it to be a surprise."
King of the Hill
"We got some of your mail here."
King of the Hill
"So, your mother was wanting to see you."
King of the Hill
"Thursday's poker night."
King of the Hill
"The stripper comes over at 9:00."
King of the Hill
"Little help?"
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: lfl get one more Frisbee, I'm opening a store."
King of the Hill
"REPORTER: Mayor Bridgewater said a financial feasibility study..."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, it's covered with Ladybird's hair."
King of the Hill
"Oh, thank God! I thought I was losing mine."
King of the Hill
"You're not sneezing or hacking up something gross."
King of the Hill
"My heart stopped beating funny and I didn't cry as much at school."
King of the Hill
"So, your allergies are under control?"
King of the Hill
"I guess that means you'll be moving back into the house."
King of the Hill
"I may be well, but I'm not stupid."
King of the Hill
"Connie, look at me. You got that?"
King of the Hill
"- I got that. - Good."
King of the Hill
"That would be our toaster pastries."
King of the Hill
"one for every year of conjugal bliss."
King of the Hill
"Okay, now, everyone get into single file for dessert."
King of the Hill
"[Rifle clicking]"
King of the Hill
"I'm sorry Bobby isn't here."
King of the Hill
"My son does not eat leftovers."
King of the Hill
"Doghouse."
King of the Hill
"Come on, Ladybird, don't make me beg."
King of the Hill
"Please, Ladybird, be a good dog."
King of the Hill
"mix in two tablespoons of red wine for her heart."
King of the Hill
"Let's be honest."
King of the Hill
"Neither one of us is any good at saying goodbyes."
King of the Hill
"I'll, uh, see you when I see you."
King of the Hill
"- We're having chicken and broccoli. - Okay."
King of the Hill
"The only pizza you'll be having is chicken and broccoli pizza..."
King of the Hill
"without the crust and the pizza sauce."
King of the Hill
"Delicious chicken and broccoli, Mother."
King of the Hill
"Oh, my goodness! Bobby, honey, are you okay?"
King of the Hill
"Has Ladybird been in the house?"
King of the Hill
"- Hank? - No."
King of the Hill
"Well, Bill brought her by the alley. She gave me her paw. But..."
King of the Hill
"What am I supposed to do?"
King of the Hill
"Rude."
King of the Hill
"There's no need to send me back out to the doghouse yet."
King of the Hill
"Ladybird?"
King of the Hill
"I'm sorry, but she won't go in her own yard."
King of the Hill
"[Hank sniffs sadly]"
King of the Hill
"Peggy, it's like I told you, the crawl space under the house is spotless."
King of the Hill
"I shouldn't have cleaned this book first. It's too engaging. I can't put it down."
King of the Hill
"Peggy, there's nothing in here."
King of the Hill
"Hank, give me a boost."
King of the Hill
"I can't see it, but I know it's in there."
King of the Hill
"Pack your bags, you flaky bastards! Dust mop!"
King of the Hill
"- What are you doing? - I thought I'd clean up a bit."
King of the Hill
"You used to have the best-looking doghouse in the neighborhood!"
King of the Hill
"Now I bet it isn't even in the top 10!"
King of the Hill
"Why don't you move back in?"
King of the Hill
"Every night your dad has to watch another man brush his dog."
King of the Hill
"Every time Ladybird wags her tail, your father dies a little."
King of the Hill
"It was my dad's idea to move me in here in the first place..."
King of the Hill
"so just relax. We got a good thing going."
King of the Hill
"As long as I keep sneezing, the lady next door can't say boo."
King of the Hill
"[Dog barking]"
King of the Hill
"No pop-ins! Get out of here!"
King of the Hill
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