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Clips from Family Guy - Peterotica (S04E04)

Family owned, great hours,

"Family owned, great hours,"

Family Guy

and lots of parking in the rear.

"and lots of parking in the rear."

Family Guy

You know, when she tugged her ear at the end of that show,

"You know, when she tugged her ear at the end of that show,"

Family Guy

I wonder what she tugged to say good night to her dad.

"I wonder what she tugged to say good night to her dad."

Family Guy

What you staring at, Joe?

"What you staring at, Joe?"

Family Guy

I wonder what they're all so surprised about.

"I wonder what they're all so surprised about."

Family Guy

What? You've never seen a handicapped man before?

"What? You've never seen a handicapped man before?"

Family Guy

They're not capable of judgment.

"They're not capable of judgment."

Family Guy

They're whores.

"They're whores."

Family Guy

Well, an old-time penny show.

"Well, an old-time penny show."

Family Guy

"The Naughty Flapper Girl. "

""The Naughty Flapper Girl. ""

Family Guy

Of course, in this place every exit's also an entrance.

"Of course, in this place every exit's also an entrance."

Family Guy

Giggity Giggity Giggity Goo.

"Giggity Giggity Giggity Goo."

Family Guy

I mean, I do have a life.

"I mean, I do have a life."

Family Guy

Yeah. Let's go, everyone.

"Yeah. Let's go, everyone."

Family Guy

Hey. Hey!

"Hey. Hey!"

Family Guy

Psst!

"Psst!"

Family Guy

Wow, Peter! That's a book, isn't it?

"Wow, Peter! That's a book, isn't it?"

Family Guy

That's the first time I've seen you reading something

"That's the first time I've seen you reading something"

Family Guy

that didn't later turn out to just be a sandwich.

"that didn't later turn out to just be a sandwich."

Family Guy

Peter, would you put that away?

"Peter, would you put that away?"

Family Guy

I don't like you reading smut at the table.

"I don't like you reading smut at the table."

Family Guy

Yeah. If only this were smut, Lois.

"Yeah. If only this were smut, Lois."

Family Guy

"He rubbed her shoulder sensually. "

""He rubbed her shoulder sensually. ""

Family Guy

You can't do somebody in the shoulder.

"You can't do somebody in the shoulder."

Family Guy

Did you hear what I said, Brian?

"Did you hear what I said, Brian?"

Family Guy

I said, "Why don't you and that... "

"I said, "Why don't you and that... ""

Family Guy

Okay. I just want to make sure you heard.

"Okay. I just want to make sure you heard."

Family Guy

Hey, guys. Tell me if this letter sounds all right.

"Hey, guys. Tell me if this letter sounds all right."

Family Guy

"Dear Reek Publishing,

""Dear Reek Publishing,"

Family Guy

"'Lt was past midnight when the blonde, smoking-hot lab assistant,

""'Lt was past midnight when the blonde, smoking-hot lab assistant,"

Family Guy

"'was grabbed and thrown onto the lab table.

""'was grabbed and thrown onto the lab table."

Family Guy

"Oh. Did I mention he was a robot?

""Oh. Did I mention he was a robot?"

Family Guy

Yeah. You got some serious talent there, Peter.

"Yeah. You got some serious talent there, Peter."

Family Guy

"And then Captain Leroy Hot Dog Zanzibar and Gina from my work

""And then Captain Leroy Hot Dog Zanzibar and Gina from my work"

Family Guy

"Gina was finally wearing that tank top I got her and nothing else.

""Gina was finally wearing that tank top I got her and nothing else."

Family Guy

"his space horniness any longer,

""his space horniness any longer,"

Family Guy

"And if I'd have been there, I would have been like,

""And if I'd have been there, I would have been like,"

Family Guy

"'Oh, sweet. '" What do you think?

""'Oh, sweet. '" What do you think?"

Family Guy

Everyone down at the bar wanted a copy.

"Everyone down at the bar wanted a copy."

Family Guy

That's a great idea, Lois. I'll talk to him tomorrow.

"That's a great idea, Lois. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

Family Guy

There is no sunlight.

"There is no sunlight."

Family Guy

You're putting me in a real awkward position here.

"You're putting me in a real awkward position here."

Family Guy

I will pay you double.

"I will pay you double."

Family Guy

Armando, Armando, it is for the children.

"Armando, Armando, it is for the children."

Family Guy

is America's last hope to take home the gold.

"is America's last hope to take home the gold."

Family Guy

Oh. Did you see that, Mitch?

"Oh. Did you see that, Mitch?"

Family Guy

Hey, Stewie, I just took a nap.

"Hey, Stewie, I just took a nap."

Family Guy

You want an eye booger?

"You want an eye booger?"

Family Guy

Listen, Mr. Pewterschmidt.

"Listen, Mr. Pewterschmidt."

Family Guy

You're a businessman. I'm a businessman.

"You're a businessman. I'm a businessman."

Family Guy

See, I wrote this erotica book.

"See, I wrote this erotica book."

Family Guy

How about I loan you $5?

"How about I loan you $5?"

Family Guy

It's at the bottom of this jar of barbed wire and salt.

"It's at the bottom of this jar of barbed wire and salt."

Family Guy

Why do you keep these things together?

"Why do you keep these things together?"

Family Guy

All right. Who wants to buy some Peterotica? Ten bucks a pop.

"All right. Who wants to buy some Peterotica? Ten bucks a pop."

Family Guy

- I'll take one. - Me, too.

"- I'll take one. - Me, too."

Family Guy

I look forward to having a raging semi.

"I look forward to having a raging semi."

Family Guy

Wow, Peter.

"Wow, Peter."

Family Guy

You're going into the publishing business?

"You're going into the publishing business?"

Family Guy

I'm such a huge fan of Peterotica.

"I'm such a huge fan of Peterotica."

Family Guy

Hi. Would you be offended if I told you

"Hi. Would you be offended if I told you"

Family Guy

No. Would you be offended if I said

"No. Would you be offended if I said"

Family Guy

Well, then we are on two different wavelengths.

"Well, then we are on two different wavelengths."

Family Guy

Welcome to Peterotica on tape.

"Welcome to Peterotica on tape."

Family Guy

or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish, by Peter Griffin.

"or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish, by Peter Griffin."

Family Guy

'"Chapter One.

"'"Chapter One."

Family Guy

'"Oh, God! You should have seen this one hot chick.

"'"Oh, God! You should have seen this one hot chick."

Family Guy

'"She was totally Italian

"'"She was totally Italian"

Family Guy

Oh, yeah. Getting hot in here.

"Oh, yeah. Getting hot in here."

Family Guy

Wow. You know, from the other side, that's kind of annoying.

"Wow. You know, from the other side, that's kind of annoying."

Family Guy

Happy birthday, darling.

"Happy birthday, darling."

Family Guy

Oh, honey, a fur coat. Thank you.

"Oh, honey, a fur coat. Thank you."

Family Guy

of whale skin oil and children's tears.

"of whale skin oil and children's tears."

Family Guy

Yes?

"Yes?"

Family Guy

Mr. Pewterschmidt, I'm Scott Greenberg, Attorney at Law.

"Mr. Pewterschmidt, I'm Scott Greenberg, Attorney at Law."

Family Guy

We're suing you for every penny you've got.

"We're suing you for every penny you've got."

Family Guy

You're liable as publisher.

"You're liable as publisher."

Family Guy

Huh. Didn't realize Greenberg was a Jedi name.

"Huh. Didn't realize Greenberg was a Jedi name."

Family Guy

a sample of his hair to match his DNA.

"a sample of his hair to match his DNA."

Family Guy

All right. I'm on it.

"All right. I'm on it."

Family Guy

- Hi, Mr. Pewterschmidt. - Hello, Peter.

"- Hi, Mr. Pewterschmidt. - Hello, Peter."

Family Guy

- What's up? - Good. Oh, damn it! I mean, not much.

"- What's up? - Good. Oh, damn it! I mean, not much."

Family Guy

Your fat, bastard husband ruined me! I lost my home, my money,

"Your fat, bastard husband ruined me! I lost my home, my money,"

Family Guy

Mom left you?

"Mom left you?"

Family Guy

Yeah. She ran off with Ted Turner.

"Yeah. She ran off with Ted Turner."

Family Guy

God only knows what they're doing.

"God only knows what they're doing."

Family Guy

- Should we give Ernie a bath? - No.

"- Should we give Ernie a bath? - No."

Family Guy

Ernie doesn't like the monsters.

"Ernie doesn't like the monsters."

Family Guy

Look, you can stay with us if you want, you filthy hobo.

"Look, you can stay with us if you want, you filthy hobo."

Family Guy

about mooching off your kids at age 70.

"about mooching off your kids at age 70."

Family Guy

Go to hell, fathead! Have I used that one?

"Go to hell, fathead! Have I used that one?"

Family Guy

All you've done his whole life is treat him like crap,

"All you've done his whole life is treat him like crap,"

Family Guy

even more than Julia Roberts loves herself.

"even more than Julia Roberts loves herself."

Family Guy

You know, a lot of people died in the tsunami.

"You know, a lot of people died in the tsunami."

Family Guy

But don't worry. I didn't.

"But don't worry. I didn't."

Family Guy

for many, many years to come.

"for many, many years to come."

Family Guy

Me!

"Me!"

Family Guy

I used to have a guy for that.

"I used to have a guy for that."

Family Guy

Mom, I can't believe you came out of that belly.

"Mom, I can't believe you came out of that belly."

Family Guy

- use the bathroom this morning? - Yeah.

"- use the bathroom this morning? - Yeah."

Family Guy

- Oh, Daddy. No. No. - Okay.

"- Oh, Daddy. No. No. - Okay."

Family Guy

- Brian? - Oh, God! No. No. No, no, no.

"- Brian? - Oh, God! No. No. No, no, no."

Family Guy

I'll do it.

"I'll do it."

Family Guy

Daddy, I never thought you'd be so lost without your money.

"Daddy, I never thought you'd be so lost without your money."

Family Guy

You're right, Lois.

"You're right, Lois."

Family Guy

Who the hell am I kidding? I can't live like this.

"Who the hell am I kidding? I can't live like this."

Family Guy

Maybe there's something you can do to help cheer him up.

"Maybe there's something you can do to help cheer him up."

Family Guy

Don't worry, Lois. I know just what to do.

"Don't worry, Lois. I know just what to do."

Family Guy

I am gonna teach your father how to be a regular guy.

"I am gonna teach your father how to be a regular guy."

Family Guy

Like when we were cartoon sketches on The Tracey Ullman Show.

"Like when we were cartoon sketches on The Tracey Ullman Show."

Family Guy

He was the best cat anyone ever had.

"He was the best cat anyone ever had."

Family Guy

Hey, Lois, what do you say we go downtown and buy a dog?

"Hey, Lois, what do you say we go downtown and buy a dog?"

Family Guy

So long, Puss.

"So long, Puss."

Family Guy

It's gonna be quite a different place with him gone. That's for true.

"It's gonna be quite a different place with him gone. That's for true."

Family Guy

All right, Kathy. It looks like Stewie Griffin

"All right, Kathy. It looks like Stewie Griffin"

Family Guy

is preparing to begin the floor routine. That's right, Mitch.

"is preparing to begin the floor routine. That's right, Mitch."

Family Guy

They said it's not gay.

"They said it's not gay."

Family Guy

Stewie one, you zero.

"Stewie one, you zero."

Family Guy

What are we doing here?

"What are we doing here?"

Family Guy

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