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Clips from Scrubs - My Roommates (S04E04)

"Tip the band leader and fluff up the pillows, because this dance is done."
Scrubs
"I wasn't the only one with relationship trouble."
Scrubs
"As a couple, when you reach a roadblock, you can do one of two things:"
Scrubs
"Look inward, try and solve your problems together or blame someone else."
Scrubs
"- You have to move out. - What? Is this about the bra catapult?"
Scrubs
"If it's a big deal, I can throw my own water balloons."
Scrubs
"- I don't need those C-cups. - We're newlyweds."
Scrubs
"That's hard enough and when you're around..."
Scrubs
"What? When have I ever been all up in your space?"
Scrubs
"And here I thought that was a lovely evening."
Scrubs
"We're all adults here, so I guess I'll just bid you guys adieu"
Scrubs
"and gather my things quietly, starting with my cable box."
Scrubs
"Guys, guys, guys."
Scrubs
"Can we take a break?"
Scrubs
"The sun is scorching, and I'm very fair-skinned."
Scrubs
"Whatever."
Scrubs
"The intern car wash."
Scrubs
"You saving up so you can finally get those pec implants replaced?"
Scrubs
"Speaking of which, I need to see you put on something a bit nicer."
Scrubs
"You know, this whole competition thing you have with your high school buddy,"
Scrubs
"it is very, very boring."
Scrubs
"You got divorced, he got divorced."
Scrubs
"so he's got me beat on that one."
Scrubs
"Look, I am not going to let this weekend become about who's a bigger man."
Scrubs
"and gets a look at my hand-polished Porsche,"
Scrubs
"Well, it hardly seems worth it now, but what the hell?"
Scrubs
"So, Per, what are you driving these days?"
Scrubs
"- Well, that old girl needs a wash. - Thank you, Ron."
Scrubs
"I can't believe they are kicking me out."
Scrubs
"At 15, my parents threatened the same thing."
Scrubs
"All right, Carla calls the shots. Appeal to her rational side."
Scrubs
"Carla, I understand you guys need space,"
Scrubs
"She called me a man. OK, time to play the best-friend card."
Scrubs
"- I banged your first girlfriend. - Chantal?"
Scrubs
"If you still like it, I'll move out for good."
Scrubs
"So, what do you say?"
Scrubs
"It's good to see you, buddy."
Scrubs
"It is great to see you, I'll tell you that."
Scrubs
"So look at you, Mr Big Time Doctor."
Scrubs
"How about you, Mr Big Time..."
Scrubs
"- You've forgotten already. - No."
Scrubs
"Tell me this, how's that super sexy mother of yours?"
Scrubs
"Your crush on my mom was cute when we were 14, but the woman's 85 now."
Scrubs
"You need to back off or ask her out to dinner."
Scrubs
"I'll have her pop in her "going out" teeth, you can see if there's a spark."
Scrubs
"- Jordan. - Hi."
Scrubs
"No, it doesn't."
Scrubs
"First one who tags the dog wins."
Scrubs
"I've seen that dog around the neighbourhood."
Scrubs
"- I think we killed its spirit. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"We can forget all about this competition crap."
Scrubs
"- I'd like that. - So would I."
Scrubs
"How great is it not having J.D. Around, huh?"
Scrubs
"- Oh, yes. We did. - Want to do it on J.D.'s bed?"
Scrubs
"I think it's about time someone did."
Scrubs
"When J.D. And I are bored, we play "toe or finger"."
Scrubs
"Close your eyes. I run either a toe or finger underneath your nose"
Scrubs
"and you try to guess which one it is, huh?"
Scrubs
"- Baby, that sounds a little immature. - OK!"
Scrubs
"Hi, guys. Thanks for inviting me over."
Scrubs
"Thanks for letting us crash here."
Scrubs
"OK. Oh, cool picture."
Scrubs
"Which one of those guys is you?"
Scrubs
"You got to hammock up."
Scrubs
"All right, Jack, listen to me."
Scrubs
"Ron's in the bathroom diapering his kid. When he gets out, it's playtime."
Scrubs
"And, son, lately your colouring's been sloppy and your Elmo Song, well,"
Scrubs
"- 27-second diaper change. - I can change a diaper in 20 seconds."
Scrubs
"what say we let the kids play for a while?"
Scrubs
"They could play with, oh, I don't know,"
Scrubs
"You know, Nathan is actually in the 90th percentile in height."
Scrubs
"Jack, get the bucket off."
Scrubs
"I said I don't want to play that game."
Scrubs
"OK, I vote Elliot goes home because she's all up in our space!"
Scrubs
"All I've seen so far is the toe, Turk!"
Scrubs
"love him unconditionally and enrol him in some sort of block-building class."
Scrubs
"A two-year-old shouldn't be able to do this."
Scrubs
"... even if it's something you didn't expect."
Scrubs
"What is wrong with you guys?"
Scrubs
"We miss J.D."
Scrubs
"When warning signs are in front of you, there's no denying the truth."
Scrubs
"Nathan doesn't make eye contact, barely speaks, freaks out when you cuddle him."
Scrubs
"get through the weekend, never speak to Ron?"
Scrubs
"Exactly."
Scrubs
"leading you towards the corner of Celibate and Spinster Way?"
Scrubs
"And I will bring a child into this world when I am ready,"
Scrubs
"not when society dictates I must."
Scrubs
"Good God, you smell like baby."
Scrubs
"You want to come back!"
Scrubs
"I came to get my toothbrush."
Scrubs
"Carla took it out the bathroom, put it in the hall closet."
Scrubs
"Finger. Bingo."
Scrubs
"Come on, Rowdy."
Scrubs
"We're too proud. We are the proud Turks."
Scrubs
"Suit yourself."
Scrubs
"Bye, trumpet player I don't know."
Scrubs
"Now I understand why your music is so sad."
Scrubs
"So I hear you're homeless."
Scrubs
"- I don't think so, buddy. - Listen, crash in my garage."
Scrubs
"I guarantee you there will not be another person in there."
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah? Well, from what I hear I'm your last option."
Scrubs
"Options! I got cable TV and a dead dog. I got plenty of options."
Scrubs
"Come on in. I've got a huge king bed."
Scrubs
"Yeah?"
Scrubs
"- Does Doug Murphy live here? - The pathologist?"
Scrubs
"But, Mr McMahon, would you mind?"
Scrubs
"You are correct, sir!"
Scrubs
"No, not at all. You're great with him, fantastic with him."
Scrubs
"In fact, if you want, you can baby-sit my kid."
Scrubs
"- Bring it on. - Need a baby-sitter?"
Scrubs
"You don't have to pay cash, just hot showers."
Scrubs
"You don't have to wash me, unless you want, but that's weird."
Scrubs
"- Newbie, I've got this one covered. - You two are interracial best buddies."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. Did you just call me black?"
Scrubs
"Angry black man. It never disappoints."
Scrubs
"Well, I do have a lot of work to get done."
Scrubs
"- You can watch Nate. - You got it."
Scrubs
"Sometimes the worst thing is getting exactly what you want."
Scrubs
"Nathan? Look at me."
Scrubs
"Damn it."
Scrubs
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