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Clips from The Office - Work Experience (S01E01)

"Yeah. Whatever. Ok?"
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"Ok. I will need some stuff."
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"- Use the meeting room for now. - I can say it's my office, can I?"
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"What?"
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"Well, while you're doing this, yeah."
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"- I'll make a sign. - You don't need to make a sign."
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"And if I need the meeting room for a meeting, it's the meeting room again, so.."
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"- Right. I'll take the sign down. - Don't need to make a sign."
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"Don't make a sign."
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"Gareth Keenan."
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"- Who's that? - No one."
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"it's ding ding da!"
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"Yeah, but I never said that was..."
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"no, that was straight from "thriller" though."
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"Because "eeeh hee! Ah! Ch'mon!""
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"- it's that. - Afternoon, Mr. Jackson."
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"I know you're as nice as a superstar, but have you sent that fax yet?"
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"Have you heard um...? Have you heard er..."
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"Michael Jackson's new song he's doing?"
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"The chimp."
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"Have you heard George Michael's latest release?"
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"No, it's not George Michaels song, i'ts his release though."
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"- is it about blow jobs? - Yeah that thing in the toilet. It was a hand job."
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"is it "Wank me off before you go go"?"
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"what's white and slides down toilet walls?"
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"- I don't know. - Michael Jackson's latest release."
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"George Michael's."
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"Good, innit? Oh."
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"- Can you moonwalk? - Probably not any more."
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"- Give it a go? - Yeah. I used to..."
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"- drop your heels back. - You can't do it on this."
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"Oh, yeah, I know how to do it. I used to do all that stuff as well."
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"All that sort of stuff, yeah. Just like take control of the body."
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"it's all that now, isn't it?"
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"- Busy? - Yes, er..."
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"keeping up morale."
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"- Can we have a chat? - Yeah."
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"Boss."
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"thanks for coming in."
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"Now, you know what this is about. Obviously you've seen the picture."
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"- David on the computer... - I saw it."
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"Yeah. And we've all had a bit of a laugh about it."
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"- it was funny. - Yeah."
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"There's a time when the joking has to stop though."
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"David has trusted me with this because..."
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"but I am trained in covert operations."
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"You know the phrase "softly softly catchee monkey"?"
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"I could catch a monkey. if I was starving, I could."
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"I would make poison darts out of the poison off deadly frogs."
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"One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey, or a man."
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"Prick yourself, you'd be dead within a day."
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"Different frogs, different times."
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"Yeah."
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"No. I mean, no."
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"Right. Your first answer was yeah."
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"- Wasn't it? - I meant no."
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"- Well, why did you get...? - I er... don't know."
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"No. I mean, yeah."
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"Hmm, that's interesting."
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"I've just spent two days in Swindon with Neil, and he's made some big changes."
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"Now, when we spoke on friday,"
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"you said you were going to instigate some changes of your own. I just wondered How is that was going?"
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"- Great. - Good. What have you done?"
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"in a global sense, streamlining,"
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"the whole ongoing enterprise of it."
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"I'm sorry, David, that sounds like management-speak to me. I know you hate that."
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"Yeah, I do. So..."
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"well, can you give me, lets say, five practical changes that you've actually made?"
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"- Five changes? - Mmm."
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"I'll give you three, then another two if you need them."
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"Efficiency. Turnover. Profitability."
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"Im sorry David that still sounds like management-speak."
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"- No, because.....yep. - you hate that."
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"- Shall I tell you what Neil's done? - Can do."
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"He's frozen any wage increases."
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"And he has started making redundancies, David."
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"- That's only four. - Yeah. Whatever David."
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"Have you made any redundancies?"
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"I gave a speech only this morning to my staff,"
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"assuring them there would be not cutbacks in this branch"
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"and that there certainly wont be any redundancies so.."
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"- But why on earth would you do that? - Why? Oh...Don't know."
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"A little word that I think's important in management called morale."
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"when there are redundancies and you've told people that there won't be."
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"They won't remember."
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"that way? Ooh!"
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"Yeah, I know. Like a..."
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"yeah."
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"I'll be honest with you David, there have got to be cutbacks."
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"Now if you can't do that yourself, thats why I'm your boss, I can do that for you."
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"You're not the boss here, and you dont have to do anything for me coz' I've already made cutbacks."
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"- You've made cutbacks already? - Yeah."
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"I didn't want to tell the staff, but to you..."
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"Staff."
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"So there have been some redundancies?"
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"- Have you let anyone go? - Yeah."
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"Who?"
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"Where does Julie work?"
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"What does she do?"
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"She's a general warehouse... in the warehouse. She was, so..."
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"I'm sorry David thought I knew everyone who works in the warehouse. What's her surname?"
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"Anderton."
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"Um... it's signs that Gareth's made for the door of his office."
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""investigation room"..."
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""Silence. interrogation." that's frightening."
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"Makes sense. My personal favourite has to be..."
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""Gareth Keenan investigates.""
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"- I'm trying to work in here. - Sorry, mate."
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"- How is the "invetigation" going? - Good."
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"Very good."
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"No. I've already got one."
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"All right, Sheila?"
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"This is scary, David."
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"Don't tie any more cash up in stock unless you have to."
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"I'm sure you could lose more people from down here. Who's the foreman?"
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"- Glynn! - What?"
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"We all call him Taffy."
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"We're like one big organism, one big animal."
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"Yeah? The guys upstairs on the phone - they're the mouth."
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"- And what part are you? - Good question."
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