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Clips from Scrubs - My Fishbowl (S06E06)

The Army is his life.

"The Army is his life."

Scrubs

He didn't take too many pills by accident.

"He didn't take too many pills by accident."

Scrubs

We can't discharge him. We've got to get him with one of the shrinks.

"We can't discharge him. We've got to get him with one of the shrinks."

Scrubs

The only way we can make him stay here

"The only way we can make him stay here"

Scrubs

BRIAN: Yeah, well, I didn't do it.

"BRIAN: Yeah, well, I didn't do it."

Scrubs

Oh, it's like you said earlier,

"Oh, it's like you said earlier,"

Scrubs

I must have mixed up my prescriptions and taken too many of one.

"I must have mixed up my prescriptions and taken too many of one."

Scrubs

How long have you been awake?

"How long have you been awake?"

Scrubs

Long enough to know that you need to fart and Carla's not funny.

"Long enough to know that you need to fart and Carla's not funny."

Scrubs

And J.D.'s imitation of a black guy is really racist.

"And J.D.'s imitation of a black guy is really racist."

Scrubs

You can't let it take you to such a bad place.

"You can't let it take you to such a bad place."

Scrubs

I'm not in a bad place,

"I'm not in a bad place,"

Scrubs

but if I were, it would be understandable, right,

"but if I were, it would be understandable, right,"

Scrubs

'cause what the hell do I have to live for?

"'cause what the hell do I have to live for?"

Scrubs

I mean, the only thing waiting for me in my crappy apartment is

"I mean, the only thing waiting for me in my crappy apartment is"

Scrubs

like I really belonged doesn't want me anymore.

"like I really belonged doesn't want me anymore."

Scrubs

But not to worry,

"But not to worry,"

Scrubs

I'm sure there's a huge demand out there

"I'm sure there's a huge demand out there"

Scrubs

for a high school grad who can't sign his name

"for a high school grad who can't sign his name"

Scrubs

and gets confused by stuff that wouldn't faze a five-year-old.

"and gets confused by stuff that wouldn't faze a five-year-old."

Scrubs

There is no happy future for me,

"There is no happy future for me,"

Scrubs

Nobody's leaving this room until you admit to us what you did.

"Nobody's leaving this room until you admit to us what you did."

Scrubs

Why should I admit anything to you,

"Why should I admit anything to you,"

Scrubs

since you guys aren't that truthful with each other?

"since you guys aren't that truthful with each other?"

Scrubs

J.D.: Sometimes to get the truth out of someone

"J.D.: Sometimes to get the truth out of someone"

Scrubs

you have to come clean yourself.

"you have to come clean yourself."

Scrubs

Carla!

"Carla!"

Scrubs

- I slept with Stacy. - I knew it!

"- I slept with Stacy. - I knew it!"

Scrubs

J.D.: After Elliot told us that she had attempted suicide,

"J.D.: After Elliot told us that she had attempted suicide,"

Scrubs

I had to ask the question that was on everybody's mind.

"I had to ask the question that was on everybody's mind."

Scrubs

Was it because I broke up with you?

"Was it because I broke up with you?"

Scrubs

No, J.D.

"No, J.D."

Scrubs

I'm not even sure why I did it.

"I'm not even sure why I did it."

Scrubs

I guess things just catch up with you, you know, you get lonely,

"I guess things just catch up with you, you know, you get lonely,"

Scrubs

you're not happy with what's happening in your life and...

"you're not happy with what's happening in your life and..."

Scrubs

- Please, you're dying to know. - No, I am not. When Elliot...

"- Please, you're dying to know. - No, I am not. When Elliot..."

Scrubs

Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf. I know, shocker.

"Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf. I know, shocker."

Scrubs

Well, they both killed themselves. Plath stuck her head in the oven, but

"Well, they both killed themselves. Plath stuck her head in the oven, but"

Scrubs

that was not an option for me because every time my head gets hot,

"that was not an option for me because every time my head gets hot,"

Scrubs

lying in a puddle of my own urine. Not again, not after the prom fiasco.

"lying in a puddle of my own urine. Not again, not after the prom fiasco."

Scrubs

If you're still not sure why you tried to off yourself,

"If you're still not sure why you tried to off yourself,"

Scrubs

I'm starting to get a pretty clear picture over here.

"I'm starting to get a pretty clear picture over here."

Scrubs

So, I decided to do it like Virginia Woolf,

"So, I decided to do it like Virginia Woolf,"

Scrubs

Got up early on a Saturday, put on my bikini...

"Got up early on a Saturday, put on my bikini..."

Scrubs

Whoa, why would you wear a bikini?

"Whoa, why would you wear a bikini?"

Scrubs

Oh, my one-piece was in the back of Coach Pongetti's car.

"Oh, my one-piece was in the back of Coach Pongetti's car."

Scrubs

Anyhow, I swam out to the middle of the lake

"Anyhow, I swam out to the middle of the lake"

Scrubs

and I couldn't bring myself to go under, so I just started, you know,

"and I couldn't bring myself to go under, so I just started, you know,"

Scrubs

Don't you dare toot while Elliot is baring her soul.

"Don't you dare toot while Elliot is baring her soul."

Scrubs

No one on Earth is this uncomfortable.

"No one on Earth is this uncomfortable."

Scrubs

Oh, no, I have to pee.

"Oh, no, I have to pee."

Scrubs

Come on, fight it, man, think about something else.

"Come on, fight it, man, think about something else."

Scrubs

Look, Elliot, I appreciate what you're trying to do,

"Look, Elliot, I appreciate what you're trying to do,"

Scrubs

You know, other than J.D.

"You know, other than J.D."

Scrubs

Wait, wait, wait. What's happening?

"Wait, wait, wait. What's happening?"

Scrubs

Brian, I know exactly how you're feeling.

"Brian, I know exactly how you're feeling."

Scrubs

I just wanted out.

"I just wanted out."

Scrubs

I'm so glad that I didn't do anything

"I'm so glad that I didn't do anything"

Scrubs

because I got on anti-depressants and now I don't feel that way.

"because I got on anti-depressants and now I don't feel that way."

Scrubs

How long can he stay in there?

"How long can he stay in there?"

Scrubs

I haven't eaten anything since I stole that hobo's pecan pie.

"I haven't eaten anything since I stole that hobo's pecan pie."

Scrubs

VOICE: Come on, buddy, get it together.

"VOICE: Come on, buddy, get it together."

Scrubs

Well, that's not real. I'm starting to lose it.

"Well, that's not real. I'm starting to lose it."

Scrubs

How do you know I'm not real?

"How do you know I'm not real?"

Scrubs

only slightly higher, like this, "How you doing, buddy?"

"only slightly higher, like this, "How you doing, buddy?""

Scrubs

Oh, yeah? Well, if I wasn't real, could I hit this note?

"Oh, yeah? Well, if I wasn't real, could I hit this note?"

Scrubs

That was lovely.

"That was lovely."

Scrubs

Look, man, we all have those bleak moments

"Look, man, we all have those bleak moments"

Scrubs

where we swear we'll never bounce back.

"where we swear we'll never bounce back."

Scrubs

Like when I was 17, my mom walked in my room

"Like when I was 17, my mom walked in my room"

Scrubs

with a look that I had never seen.

"with a look that I had never seen."

Scrubs

"Michael Jordan's career is over."

""Michael Jordan's career is over.""

Scrubs

My point is we don't know what the future holds.

"My point is we don't know what the future holds."

Scrubs

Fine, let me move out of the way.

"Fine, let me move out of the way."

Scrubs

(FARTS)

"(FARTS)"

Scrubs

(EXCLAIMING)

"(EXCLAIMING)"

Scrubs

If you're wondering why I'm wearing these,

"If you're wondering why I'm wearing these,"

Scrubs

are coated in the toddler vomit I told you to clean up earlier.

"are coated in the toddler vomit I told you to clean up earlier."

Scrubs

Now, are you going to get on it or am I docking your pay?

"Now, are you going to get on it or am I docking your pay?"

Scrubs

Roger Dorsey was my squad leader in Vietnam.

"Roger Dorsey was my squad leader in Vietnam."

Scrubs

ROGER: Tell Bob I love him.

"ROGER: Tell Bob I love him."

Scrubs

You win, I see your point.

"You win, I see your point."

Scrubs

Here is the name of a really good therapist.

"Here is the name of a really good therapist."

Scrubs

Please, who cares about you?

"Please, who cares about you?"

Scrubs

I mean, for God's sake,

"I mean, for God's sake,"

Scrubs

if I'd known back then that you were just going to go ahead

"if I'd known back then that you were just going to go ahead"

Scrubs

and spent all my extra time catching up on Newbie's pathetic blog.

"and spent all my extra time catching up on Newbie's pathetic blog."

Scrubs

J.D.: Oh, my God, he referenced me in a tough love speech!

"J.D.: Oh, my God, he referenced me in a tough love speech!"

Scrubs

Stop smiling.

"Stop smiling."

Scrubs

So, no, Brian, no. You don't owe anything to yourself, but

"So, no, Brian, no. You don't owe anything to yourself, but"

Scrubs

you damn sure owe each one of us.

"you damn sure owe each one of us."

Scrubs

Fine.

"Fine."

Scrubs

I'll call him.

"I'll call him."

Scrubs

(EXCLAIMS)

"(EXCLAIMS)"

Scrubs

Hand cramp!

"Hand cramp!"

Scrubs

You think that's funny, making me kill a helpless little animal?

"You think that's funny, making me kill a helpless little animal?"

Scrubs

If you didn't want to hold it for me you could've put it on the counter.

"If you didn't want to hold it for me you could've put it on the counter."

Scrubs

No, you, you were... I tried... I had to...

"No, you, you were... I tried... I had to..."

Scrubs

ROGER: So cold...

"ROGER: So cold..."

Scrubs

This isn't Nam. Go get me some water.

"This isn't Nam. Go get me some water."

Scrubs

Well, unfortunately, she's dead, Turk. Congratulations, you win again.

"Well, unfortunately, she's dead, Turk. Congratulations, you win again."

Scrubs

I'm as funny as anybody else in this place.

"I'm as funny as anybody else in this place."

Scrubs

(GROANING)

"(GROANING)"

Scrubs

Hey, Brian, wait up.

"Hey, Brian, wait up."

Scrubs

Okay, you gotta stop finding all my notes.

"Okay, you gotta stop finding all my notes."

Scrubs

You went for a leisurely afternoon drown

"You went for a leisurely afternoon drown"

Scrubs

I had zero self-esteem

"I had zero self-esteem"

Scrubs

is I was smart enough to know that it's never too late to come back from.

"is I was smart enough to know that it's never too late to come back from."

Scrubs

I can't be what I used to be.

"I can't be what I used to be."

Scrubs

I know this guy and I like him.

"I know this guy and I like him."

Scrubs

you think someone like you could go for someone like me?

"you think someone like you could go for someone like me?"

Scrubs

I hope you do.

"I hope you do."

Scrubs

Because, Ted, not only does it make our doctors more accountable,

"Because, Ted, not only does it make our doctors more accountable,"

Scrubs

Look, there's us way in the back.

"Look, there's us way in the back."

Scrubs

and then segue into an anecdote

"and then segue into an anecdote"

Scrubs

I assume you want it filthy.

"I assume you want it filthy."

Scrubs

So, what, I'm not funny?

"So, what, I'm not funny?"

Scrubs

your husband sells it with a cocky attitude.

"your husband sells it with a cocky attitude."

Scrubs

I assume that because I just called you Alice,

"I assume that because I just called you Alice,"

Scrubs

To tell you the truth, there's really only one guy

"To tell you the truth, there's really only one guy"

Scrubs

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