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Clips from American Dad! - The 42-Year-Old Virgin (S03E03)

"Stop."
American Dad!
"...corpse."
American Dad!
"Quiznos. I choose Quiznos."
American Dad!
"Toasted bread and melted cheese, Quiznos."
American Dad!
"And I bet they're all like, "Why?" And he's all like, "You know why.""
American Dad!
"You guys are pathetic. You're idolizing a murderer."
American Dad!
"Dad, speaking of guy stuff..."
American Dad!
"You know I likes to get with the ladies, but I have to take a rain check."
American Dad!
"I'm playing poker with a couple guys from work."
American Dad!
"We need a fourth, so Chilly's coming along."
American Dad!
"So how do you and Stan know each other?"
American Dad!
"Madonna, circa 1986. I'm in Madonna, circa 1986."
American Dad!
"Slit his throat with a coping saw, then ate an egg-salad sandwich."
American Dad!
"Oh, come on. It's just us guys."
American Dad!
"Wet dog?"
American Dad!
"You didn't kill anyone today."
American Dad!
"Hey, anyone notice that Chilly is really an alien?"
American Dad!
"- You're a virgin. - I am not a virgin."
American Dad!
"You never popped your cherry."
American Dad!
"It's probably a good thing since I've been getting complete crap all nigh..."
American Dad!
"Come on, Stan. Get in the car. We have to talk about what happened."
American Dad!
"Don't you wanna know how that's possible?"
American Dad!
"Don't shoot me in the stomach. That's stupid."
American Dad!
"And you'll never be any good. Never."
American Dad!
"I couldn't do it. I couldn't pull the trigger."
American Dad!
"Hey, you're that virgin from the subway. How you been, virgin?"
American Dad!
"Everyone thought I was this badass CIA agent, so I went with it."
American Dad!
"- Steve, it's not... - You made me look like a real jerk."
American Dad!
"You made me a jerk, Pop. Aren't we a fine pair?"
American Dad!
"Together, we'll pick blueberries for peace."
American Dad!
"So Stan hasn't killed anyone."
American Dad!
"No? All right, then everyone scoot back. I gotta whack this thing on the ground."
American Dad!
"Everyone, this is James. I found him curled up under the dart machine..."
American Dad!
"...smelling of urine and despair."
American Dad!
"His sport jacket, as you can see, is made of newspapers."
American Dad!
"Like Jim Davis, the guy who opened up his heart and gave us Garfield?"
American Dad!
"Me liked the one where they went to prom."
American Dad!
"- Well, how will I know it's the right one? - Oh, you'll know."
American Dad!
"You seem awfully knowledgeable about all this. Have you ever...?"
American Dad!
"- Well, I served in the war. - There was a space war?"
American Dad!
"No, no. I fought for the Vietcong in the late '60s."
American Dad!
"This is a little uncomfortable."
American Dad!
"My name's Randy. I just moved in with my mom down the street."
American Dad!
"I was recently released from prison..."
American Dad!
"...or I'm kicking your ass!"
American Dad!
"Well, I didn't actually kill anyone. I tried to..."
American Dad!
"I'm gonna do it this time, guys."
American Dad!
"Oh, good, you're here. Come on in."
American Dad!
"Okay, now, which one of you will be releasing us to freedom?"
American Dad!
"Good luck. Wish me luck on bottling my own preserves."
American Dad!
"You're not gonna find the one picking blueberries."
American Dad!
"That's it. That's the one. The guy who came to my house."
American Dad!
"- Stan! - What?"
American Dad!
"No problem. Hey, do you kids sometimes kiss your pillow..."
American Dad!
"Yeah."
American Dad!
"Polar bears shouldn't give this to their babies."
American Dad!
"At the very least, we should have popped by now."
American Dad!
"I'm the salt. All kernels have to wrestle me to get salted."
American Dad!
"- Freeze, dirtbag. - Dad."
American Dad!
"- It's all over, Randy. Time to die. - Okay, yeah. I get it."
American Dad!
"Aren't you...? Aren't you gonna apologize and beg for your life?"
American Dad!
"That's who I am and that's who I'll always be."
American Dad!
"He's comfortable with who he is, and I should be as well."
American Dad!
"I don't need to kill someone to prove anything to you, myself or anyone else."
American Dad!
"Yeah. That's nice."
American Dad!
"...and went through the waterfall, hitting Bad Larry who was on the other side."
American Dad!
"See, Stan? It was me all along."
American Dad!
"I'll never forget you, Bad Larry. You'll always be my first."
American Dad!
"I'm... I'm glad it was me."
American Dad!
"- What'd he mean by that? - Who cares? He's dead."
American Dad!
"I sure didn't, honey. I sure didn't."
American Dad!
"Here it is. My big chance. Last line of the show."
American Dad!
"Jameson LaCroix: Weapons dealer, drug smuggler..."
American Dad!
"Another one bites the dust"
American Dad!
"Another one bites the dust"
American Dad!
"Are you sure? We have many new takeout menus."
American Dad!
"How long will he be dead?"
American Dad!
"I bet he sees his victims' faces every time he closes his eyes."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah? Well:"
American Dad!
"- What the hell does that mean? - Guy humor, Hayley."
American Dad!
"You don't got a willy, you don't get the silly."
American Dad!
"- I'll kill you if you do. - He totally will too. He's so awesome."
American Dad!
"Kids, leave your father alone."
American Dad!
"The last thing he wants to do is relive every vivid, gruesome detail."
American Dad!
"Save that for the bedroom, my big, powerful killer."
American Dad!
"- Chilly? - You heard right, baby."
American Dad!
"What's with these cards, Bad Larry? You're screwing me with these cards."
American Dad!
"I'm sorry, Chilly. I don't control the cards."
American Dad!
"Ray. You're honest because you're old."
American Dad!
"From work. We know each other from work."
American Dad!
"- That's where we know him from. - Then from the coffee shop."
American Dad!
"You don't know? What the hell's wrong with you?"
American Dad!
"I remember every meal I ate after every kill."
American Dad!
"Johnny Damone was my first kill."
American Dad!
"It was too big. I took home half."
American Dad!
"While I was strangling him, I stuck my thumb in his eye and popped his eye out."
American Dad!
"Without severing the nerve, I turned it around so he could watch himself die."
American Dad!
"My God, Bad Larry."
American Dad!
"Now, I'm a gentleman. I never kill and tell."
American Dad!
"Who? Come on. We want details."
American Dad!
"It was this Russian spy. You guys don't know him. He was from Canada."
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah? Where'd you shoot him?"
American Dad!
"- In the body. - Where in the body?"
American Dad!
"The front. The front of the body."
American Dad!
"...and then afterwards, your hands smell like wet dog?"
American Dad!
"Well, you know what I mean. Something dog. Whose deal is it?"
American Dad!
"What are you...? I've totally killed people."
American Dad!
"- No. L... l... - He never..."
American Dad!
"Well, he's my ride, so I should get going too."
American Dad!
"- Who's in? - Fold."
American Dad!
"- Fold. - Damn it."
American Dad!
"Don't look at me. I'm a disgrace."
American Dad!
"It all started when I was a rookie agent 20 years ago."
American Dad!
"Sorry, folks. Spilled my beer. Sorry."
American Dad!
"What are you doing?"
American Dad!
"It probably won't even kill me."
American Dad!
"Is this your first time or something?"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God, it is."
American Dad!
"Well, you're terrible at it. You are terrible."
American Dad!
"I just froze up."
American Dad!
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