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Clips from South Park - Volcano (S01E01)

"- Ready to go hunting? - My Uncle Jimbo says we gotta go early."
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"Here, hon. I packed you Cheesy Poofs and Happy Tarts."
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"Hello, Mrs. Cartman. How are you today?"
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"That's sick!"
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"...but just remember, Mommy's not far away."
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"Maybe your mom can give me a kiss too."
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"I want you to understand a few basic rules of hunting."
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"Never spill your beer in the bullet chamber."
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"That's right, I don't think 8-year-old kids drink beer."
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"He makes stuff up. Don't believe him."
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"Look out, son, that's dangerous! You'll spill your beer."
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"After this, my uncle will take me hunting in Africa."
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"My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa."
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"Look there. That's a Rocky Mountain black bear."
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"It wasn't coming for us. It was just sitting!"
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"They say we can't shoot certain animals unless they pose a threat."
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"So before we shoot, we have to say, "It's coming right for us!""
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"- Jimbo, look. - Oh, it's a deer."
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"It's coming right for us!"
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"- Is this hunting? - I guess so."
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"- Dude, I'm starting to have flashbacks. - What?"
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"Stand forth! Pull up flank! Look out for Charlies in trees!"
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"This one's yours, Stan."
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"- What's wrong with you? - I don't wanna shoot it."
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"- You're hysterical! - I just don't wanna shoot it."
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"My nephew's a tree-hugger?!"
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"- I can shoot you! - I can shoot you too!"
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"- I'll kill you! - I'll fill you full of lead!"
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"Looks like we'll have to use the old Indian fire trick."
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"Stop, drop and roll, Ned!"
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"What's next, meatloaf?"
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"I'm not in your office. I'm talking to you through a speaker."
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"- Just send in the geometrist! - Geologist."
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"This graph shows everything from normal to bad."
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"And then, Ned picked up the grenade and boom! Blasted his arm clear off!"
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"Some say it's still crawling around to this day."
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"- Gotcha! - That's not scary."
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"- You were scared. You almost peed. - Shut up! I didn't pee!"
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"- You boys wanna tie one on? - No, that stuff tastes like pee."
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"You guys, I know a scary story."
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"...and likes to add pieces to its deformed body."
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"- A hook! - A knife!"
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"No, a piece of celery. Yes, and he walks with a limp."
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"One of his legs is missing. And where his leg should be..."
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"Patrick Duffy?! Damn it, that's not scary!"
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"What do you mean? Have you seen Step by Step?"
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"It might be."
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"I hope he doesn't cut me with his celery."
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"Ned, why don't you whip out the old cancer kazoo? Let's do a little song."
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"I think something took Cartman away."
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"- Where's my uncle and Ned? - Fishing with Kenny."
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"Why do they like Kenny so much? Doesn't he like me?"
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"- Stan, you wanna know what I think? - What?"
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"Great instincts."
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"Oh, hell. I guess we better go look for him."
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"Oh, man, that is nasty."
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"...and end their miserable lives with excruciatingly painful, burning agony."
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"We can't do anything until we get them!"
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"Everybody, you gotta help the children!"
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"- Ned, what'd you have for breakfast? - I don't know. I've got some bad gas."
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"It's coming right for us!"
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"We'll be on the cover of Guns & Ammo."
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"Those guys are totally scared."
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"Fire in the hole!"
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"Report back here every hour, you got that?"
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"These look like his tracks."
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"I'll bet that sucker's headed for a higher elevation... Bird!"
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"You guys, it's just me!"
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"- We sure it's Skuzzlebutt? - Is there a Patrick Duffy leg?"
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"- I wanna bag that animal! - That's the spirit! Let's hunt!"
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"Guys, I was just kidding!"
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"As some people try to save their town, others look for the missing people."
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"I have special-ordered this training film to assist us in volcano safety."
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"Mr. Garrison, if you would, please."
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"Junior seems worried. But have no fear..."
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"...Jane learned in school what to do when a volcano erupts."
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"That's right, duck and cover. Looks like you got the idea."
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"That has got to be the most ridiculous load of pig crap I have ever seen!"
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"- Goddamn it, I can't do it! - You pansy! Give me that gun!"
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"I was trying to scare you. You can put the gun down now!"
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"The missing children are trapped in the path of hot, nasty lava."
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"God, please deliver those darling kids from..."
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"Wait, wait, wait! Three, two and one."
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"God, please deliver..."
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"Hi, kids, I'm TV's Patrick Duffy."
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"Quick, Ned, shoot it!"
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"He's saving us!"
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"Where exactly does the canyon go?"
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"Now these humble people can rejoice and celebrate their victory over nature."
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"I'm getting word that the school's chef..."
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"...wants to sing a song about this struggle of humanity."
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"- Thank you, Skuzzlebutt. - Friend."
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"I did it! I killed something!"
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"- What has he done? - Turn off the cameras!"
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"You shouldn't have done that!"
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"- Why? - Make up your mind, dude."
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"But Kenny's dead now. You're always gonna be my nephew."
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"You just can't kill anything."
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"- It's stupid. Let's go watch cartoons. - Yeah, cartoons kick ass."
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"Now, you be careful, Eric. The woods can be very dangerous."
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"Right. Animals are easier to shoot in the morning."
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"Don't worry, we'll take care of him."
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"- Drive! Drive! - You give your mommy a kissy."
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"Drive the car, damn it! Drive!"
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"- Don't get scared, Cartman. - Shut up! I'm not scared of nothing!"
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"Let's get that testosterone flowing."
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"Boys, I need to get serious for a minute."
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"Don't ever walk with your gun unless the safety's on."
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"After all, hunting sober is like fishing sober."
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"Hey, I didn't get a gun!"
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"One of the few remaining of its kind. Isn't it beautiful?"
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"My God, it's coming right for us!"
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"Not so loud. Now, that's just a technicality."
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"...the Democrats have passed laws trying to stop hunting."
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"You're smart, Uncle Jimbo."
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"Kick ass!"
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"- Shoot it, Stan! - I got your back, soldier."
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"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense!"
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"Hippie! Go back to Woodstock if you can't shoot."
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"Hey, what's that?"
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