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Clips from The Simpsons - Treehouse of Horror XVII (S18E18)

"We've got everything... warm beds, square meals, homeless women."
The Simpsons
"I got a bad feeling about this, Blue."
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"Nice to be indoors, isn't it?"
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"Finally, I'd like to announce..."
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"Here's how I'll look."
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"That's right... Look at your hero!"
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"Good night, everybody."
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"Aren't you coming, Bart?"
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"Nah, I'm gonna go backstage and complain."
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"This Krusty Brand alarm clock sprays acid in your face."
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"You already showed me before!"
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"Whoa, Krusty's prop room."
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"Cool! It's that clown car all those midgets drowned in."
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"Wha..?"
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"Hey, kid.This ain't a museum."
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"That's a museum."
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"For kids, $49 bucks."
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"Krusty, what's that monster?"
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"It's the Golem of Prague."
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"like Alan Dershowitz, but with a conscience."
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"I kid Alan. We're friends."
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"Anyway, back in the 1600s..."
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"The golem would perform any task"
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"that was written on a scroll and placed in its mouth."
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"I put it on my charge plate.""
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"You suck, clown!"
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"You made my lady cry!"
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"Now if you'll excuse me,"
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"I have to rehearse my "Desperate Houseflies" sketch."
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"Buzz, buzz."
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"Ooh, here comes that sexy young garbageman."
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"I'm gonna need a shoebox full of blow to get through this dreck."
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"Bart, there's something I have to tell you father to son."
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"I passed out on your turtle and killed it."
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"Someday you'll thank me."
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"Hey, Milhouse."
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"It worked!"
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"Now, there's something I've wanted to do for a long time."
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"Can't you read my writing?"
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"I didn't say kick Homer's "walls"."
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"What's goin' on?"
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"Yo, Simpson."
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"In fact, why don't you give me your lunch money?"
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"Well, who's gonna make us? That golem?"
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"Yes, him."
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"Finally, someone who does whatever I say."
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"Get lost."
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"Yes, Master."
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"Bart, did your mystical Jewish monster beat up those bullies?"
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"Oh, it's always the Jews' fault."
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""Speak.""
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"Finally, I can talk!"
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"This is the voice I've got?"
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"That's what we call Jewish humor."
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"You don't have to understand it 'cause the words sound funny."
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"Meshuggeneh. Hilarious."
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"Hello? Huh?"
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"It's funny, believe me."
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"Do you feel bad about what you did?"
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"Of course I feel bad."
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"My stomach feels like it's hosting the Chabad telethon..."
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"and Norm Crosby's going long."
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""Kill the czar"? Now that's an old one."
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"Hey, boy, where's your mud buddy?"
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"I have a little job for him."
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"Oh, he was driving me crazy, so I sent him on an errand."
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"Skinner! Just let him kill you already."
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"Skinner!"
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"Get him out of here, Willie."
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"I may be bifurcated, but I still have feelings."
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"and I told a telemarketer I was busy when I wasn't."
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"I'm not a good man."
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"He sure is neurotic for a monster."
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"The cure to any man's problems is a good relationship."
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"Yeah, get him a woman. That'll end his misery."
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"Ow, ow! This hurts so much."
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"Just write a scroll asking him to stop."
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"Writing's for nerds."
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"Then people could have some drinks, watch Fiddler. Very nice."
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"Will you shut up."
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"Is she for me?"
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"Hello, everybody."
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"It looks like a lion ate a parrot and then threw up."
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"- Well, back to the drawing board. - No!"
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"What are you? Nuts? She was made for me."
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"Shayna punim."
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"Not so fast."
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"Oh, come on, Chief."
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"We've got a lat kebar downstairs."
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"Wonderful!"
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"♪ Gloomy Sunday ♪"
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"♪ With shadows I spend it all ♪"
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"♪ My heart and I have decided ♪ ♪ to end it all... ♪"
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"I don't get it."
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"What's so "Great" about this Depression?"
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"Well, I like how everything's sepia-toned."
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"I never thought it would come to this when I fought in the first World War."
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"Oh, you'll see."
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"in Capital City's fabulous Hotel Hitler"
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"to bring you a special bulletin."
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"Hey, I'm not done dancing."
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"This bulletin better swing."
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"Reports are coming in of giant metal cylin landing"
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"on the outskirts of major American cities."
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"Cylinders?"
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"Astronomers say the ominous capsules"
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"originated from Earth's closest neighbor."
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"- Flanders? - Mars."
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"So, it's a war of the worlds."
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"Good thing we got the sun on our side."
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"Go ahead and hide, you coward."
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"I'm in the small town of Grover's Mill..."
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"where a crowd has gathered around one of the strange martian cylinders."
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"It's opening. A tentacle is emerging."
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"Have a cigarette to calm your nerves."
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"Oh, my stars. It's firing a beam of pure energy."
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"It's burning people alive."
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"Okay, boys, we're under attack."
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"Let's drive 'em out of town the way we did with the Irish."
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"Hey, I'm Irish."
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