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Clips from The Simpsons - Funeral for a Fiend (S19E19)

"as Shakespeare said,"
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""If it were done when it's done,"
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"then 'twere best it were done quickly. ""
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"Power on."
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"Looks like you're trying to blow up the computer."
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"This time,"
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"Actually, you made one."
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"What Shakespeare really said was,"
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""Twere well it were done quickly. ""
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"Yes, I'm sure, you've studied the Immortal Bard"
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"extensively under your"
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"Macbeth, act one, scene seven."
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"Look it up!"
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"I shall."
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"Come on, Wikipedia,"
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"Oh, dear"
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"Sideshow Bob,"
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""hoist on his own petard. ""
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"It's "hoist with his own petard. ""
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"Oh, get a life."
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"Yet another new restaurant fails."
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"Ten-time attempted murderer and"
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"is in custody again."
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"Next case..."
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"People versus Sideshow Bob."
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"No, your honor."
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"I choose to represent myself."
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"And let me say..."
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"I did try to kill the Simpsons."
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"I truly did."
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"Ohhhhhhhhh!"
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"Okay, if he doesn't say "but" right now, we are home free."
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"- But... - Damn it!"
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"by reason of insanity!"
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"Insanity caused by my persecution"
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"Young?"
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"I'm the oldest kid in my class!"
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"By like two years."
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"For my first witness I call my father,"
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"Dr. Robert Terwilliger, Senior."
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"Dame Judith Underdunk!"
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"She's the greatest classical actress of her generation."
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"Dame Judith, you were brilliant in Troilus and Cressida."
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"or the play after the car?"
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"My son is on trial for his life."
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"I'm sorry, I know this is a terrible time."
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"Play first, then car."
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"I just lost a thousand dollars."
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"Robert was a peaceful boy,"
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"sickly and weak from a congenital heart defect."
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"But then that Simpson boy started tormenting him,"
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"and he he crossed over into dementia."
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"To what degree was this dementia blown?"
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"Full."
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"Stop feeling sorry for him!"
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"He's a homicidal maniac!"
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"He deserves to fry!"
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"still he harangues me."
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"Who among you have not suffered"
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"at the hands of this demon scamp"
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"and felt the urge for retribution?"
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"He mocked my folksy ways!"
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"He cheats at Uno!"
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"Bob's playing all of you like saps."
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"This man's a killer!"
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"See how he accuses me --at my very own trial!"
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"I... I..."
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"I didn't want to use this,"
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"but you've left me no choice."
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"Nitroglycerin!"
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"Foiled again, freak!"
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"That nitroglycerin was medicine"
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"for Robert's congenital heart defect."
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"To which my earlier testimony referred."
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"This man is dead."
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"And you killed him."
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"Ew, gross--"
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"I'm touching a dead guy!"
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"America has a tradition of turning outlaws"
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"Joining them now is Robert "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger,"
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"his brother, Cecil, left out the prison for the occasion,"
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"Also in attendance are Bob's colleagues from the world of clowning."
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"A veritable who's who ha-ha."
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"Farewell, Sideshow Bob."
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"Your shoes are empty and the stage is dark"
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"Bart stole your nitroglycerin"
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"Oughta buy this DVD"
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"It's full of extra features"
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"There's the kid who killed my best friend!"
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"Buy my DVD."
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"I'm not sad."
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"I have nothing to be sad about. Nothing!"
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"Yeah, well, between you and me,"
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"I still can't stand him."
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"I still can't stand him."
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"I still can't stand him."
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"I still can't stand him."
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"I don't care about these church jerks."
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"Church jerks... church jerks..."
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"Anus, anus..."
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"Stupid Sideshow Bob."
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"Even when he's dead, he wrecks my life."
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"I hope he's in hell eating a barf burger."
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"I once felt that way, too."
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"Biologically, yes,"
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"but we never got along."
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"He was always zigging when I zagged."
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"That summer when he wanted to tour the castles of Italy,"
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"I wanted to tour the castles of France."
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"So we went to Spain,"
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"a compromise that satisfied no one."
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"That's stupid."
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"You talk like youre smart, but you're stupid."
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"Anyway, I choose to remember Bob as the big brother"
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"who taught me to play Botticelli."
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"Sounds boring."
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"Oh, you'd love it."
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"It's a guessing game in which one"
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"player adopts the guise of a noteworthy--"
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"you're right, it is boring."
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